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Published byHarry Montgomery Modified over 8 years ago
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Or “Oh my god, what do I do now? Dennis Galvan Ph.D. Gallaudet University
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Dr Phil Huggies.com Parenting Magazines Your parents, friends, colleagues… Your child’s teachers Dr. Spock Ellen Mr. Rogers Big Bird
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Don’t let the baby cry all night. Yes, your body is making enough milk. New car seats are safer than ever. Babies like to be held. Get regular check ups with your doctor. Brush your young child’s teeth every day.
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Spare the rod, spoil the child. With a newborn!? Vaccines cause autism so don’t get your child vaccinated. All children should be toilet trained by 2. All children should sleep through the night by 6 months.
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Temperament ◦ The easy child ◦ The difficult child Attachment ◦ Secure attachments ◦ Insecure attachments Cultural differences
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Other differences (my three children) ◦ Logical child When I say no, I must explain everything. If he understands my logic, he will accept it, even if he doesn’t like it. ◦ Impulsive child When I say no, he is just mad. It doesn’t matter what I say or do. ◦ Sensitive child When I say no, she cries because she thinks I am upset with her.
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You can be fair without treating (disciplining) them all the same. ◦ One child needs time-out, another needs a toy taken away, another needs a discussion. ◦ Other examples of how you need to discipline two children differently?
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Authoritarian Authoritative Permissive ◦ Over-indulgent ◦ Neglectful or uninvolved Diana Baumrind (1971)
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Strict rules with no room for negotiation and no explanation of rules Restrictive Punitive Firm limits and control Spanking and other physical punishment Children are often ◦ Insecure ◦ Resist initiating something new due to fear ◦ Have poor communication skills ◦ See rules as outside of themselves and confusing
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Strict rules and expectations but with explanation Encourages independence and mature behavior Verbal negotiation (give and take) Parents are warm, nurturing and supportive Recognizes a child’s individuality and disciplines accordingly Explains why some behavior was wrong and offers alternatives
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Children with authoritative parents tend to ◦ Be cheerful ◦ Have internal sense of rules and self control ◦ Be independent, mature and self motivated ◦ Get along well with peers and adults ◦ Cope well with stress
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Highly involved with the child Few demands or rules Give the child whatever the child wants Helicopter parenting Some parents feel this will encourage creativity and confidence.
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Children of permissive and over indulgent parents often ◦ Do not learn to control their own behavior ◦ Expect to get what they want ◦ Do not learn to respect others ◦ Have problems with peers ◦ Are egocentric
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Parent is uninvolved No rules, no expectations Physically or emotionally absent Parent may be home but watches TV or is texting all the time. Children tend to be ◦ Socially incompetent and have low self esteem. ◦ Immature and alienated ◦ Truancy and delinquency in adolescence
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Accepting and Responsive Rejecting and unresponsive Demanding and controlling AuthoritativeAuthoritarian Undemanding and uncontrolling IndulgentNeglectful or Uninvolved
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Not only do parents train children, but children train parents. The child stops his or her tantrum when given what he/she wants. Stopping the tantrum rewards the parent for giving in. Parenting is a tough job and sometimes it is just easier to give in.
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None of us are perfect parents Sometimes we are all Authoritative, Authoritarian, Indulgent or Neglectful. The key is where are we most of the time and what do we strive for.
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Santrock, J. (2010) Children, 11 th edition, McGraw Hill Publishers, New York, NY Photos taken from Bling Images for children, cartoons and other search words.
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