1. JUNIE B. MEETS MELVIL D.

2. My name is Junie B. Jones. The B. stands for Beatrice. Except I don’t like Beatrice. I just like B and that’s all. My teacher has the name of Mrs. She has another name too. But I just like Mrs. And that’s all. Yeah, only here’s the problem. Today Mrs. Says she is going to teach us about fractions. Only too bad for me. “Cause I don’t even know what a fraction is. I think I need a book about fractions of course.

3. My name is Junie B. Jones. The B. stands for Beatrice. Except I don’t like Beatrice. I just like B and that’s all. Today Paulie Allen Puffer told me that everybody has a monster under their bed. And he says the monster waits till you’re asleep. Then he crawls up next to you. And he lies down on your pillow. Only here is the trouble. I think Paulie Allen Puffer is a big fat liar and I need a book about monsters right this minute, of course.

4. My name is Junie B. Jones. The B. stands for Beatrice. Except I don’t like Beatrice. I just like B and that’s all. This is how come I need a book today. Grandpa Miller said there was a law against running in the house and then spinning until you fall down, that’s what. Except I don’t think that there is such a thing. So can someone please find me a book about laws about running and spinning, that’s what I’d like to know.

5. My name is Junie B. Jones. The B. stands for Beatrice. Except I don’t like Beatrice. I just like B and that’s all. Lucille’s Richie Nana told us a story today about going in a plane for a million bazillion miles to a place with the funny name of Australia. Yeah, only here’s the problem. “Cause I never ever even heard of a place called Australia, that’s why. And I need an atlas I think.

6. My name is Junie B. Jones. The B. stands for Beatrice. Except I don’t like Beatrice. I just like B and that’s all. Only too bad for me. ‘Cause I am not at all happy. In fact I think I am absolutely depressed. That Grace is mad at Lucille, and Lucille is angry with Handsome Warren. It is called a huffy I think. Where can I find a book that will tell me how Grace and Lucille and Handsome Warren tick?

7. My name is Junie B. Jones. The B. stands for Beatrice. Except I don’t like Beatrice. I just like B and that’s all. Today Room 9 went out for recess. Recess is a word for the bestest part of the day. Only guess what. Today we ran races, that’s what. I told Grace, “Only too bad Grace because you can’t be as fast as me.” That Grace did a mad breath at me and said she was going to practice. Only how do you practice being fastest? I need a book about running, so I can study too.

8. My name is Junie B. Jones. The B. stands for Beatrice. Except I don’t like Beatrice. I just like B and that’s all. My teacher has the name of Mrs. She has another name too. But I just like Mrs. And that’s all. Only here’s the problem. Mrs. said we were going to learn about myths and I said Miss Who? Mrs. rolled her eyes at me, and said “M-Y-T-H myths.” So I need a book about M-Y-T-H myths.

9. My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except I don’t like Beatrice. I just like B and that’s all. Only guess what. Handsome Warren is the handsomest boy I ever saw! He’s even been on TV before. Lucille said Handsome Warren was dapper. Except I don’t know why he’s the silly word of dapper. ‘Cause I don’t even know what dapper is, that’s why. Can someone please help me find a dictionary, that’s what I’d like to know.

10. My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except I don’t like Beatrice. I just like B and that’s all. My teacher has the name of Mrs. She has another name too. But I just like Mrs. And that’s all. Mrs. Said we are going to do a play called Romeo and Juliet by Mr William Shakespeare. I brushed my skirt very pretty. On account of I knew I would have to be Juliet and Handsome Warren would be Romeo of course. So I will need to read all about this Romeo and Juliet pretty quick.

11. My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except I don’t like Beatrice. I just like B and that’s all. Mother and Daddy were yelling very loudly because I was drawing that’s why. Only too bad for me. ‘Cause I forgot the paper and was coloring right on the wall a little bit. Mother and Daddy yelled, “Do you hear me missy?” “Yes,” I said, ”Cause you’re hollering right in my ear that’s why.” I need a book about how to draw on paper and not on walls I think.

12. Melvil’s System: 000 Generalities 100 Philosophy & Psychology 200 Religion 300 Social Science 400 Language 500 Natural Science 600 Technology 700 Arts & Recreation 800 Literature 900 Geography & History