1. Chapter Four Intimate Relationships and Communication

2. Developing Intimate Relationships To have successful relationships, a positive self-concept and healthy self-esteem help love and respect othersTo have successful relationships, a positive self-concept and healthy self-esteem help love and respect others Personal identity must be allowed to developPersonal identity must be allowed to develop The following are other factors learned in early childhood that assist with healthy relationships:The following are other factors learned in early childhood that assist with healthy relationships: Gender rolesGender roles Style of attachmentStyle of attachment Formulation of friendshipsFormulation of friendships

3. Developing Friendships Friendships include the following characteristics:Friendships include the following characteristics: CompanionshipCompanionship RespectRespect AcceptanceAcceptance HelpHelp TrustTrust LoyaltyLoyalty MutualityMutuality ReciprocityReciprocity

4. Bonds Between People Friendship (deep attachments are influenced)Friendship (deep attachments are influenced) Dating (formalized pattern reflecting serial monogamy to mutual monogamy patterns)Dating (formalized pattern reflecting serial monogamy to mutual monogamy patterns) Intimacy (sharing of deep feelings)Intimacy (sharing of deep feelings) Love (emotional attachment of various levels)Love (emotional attachment of various levels) LikingLiking Infatuation (passion)Infatuation (passion) Romantic (intimacy and passion)Romantic (intimacy and passion) Fatuous (passion and commitment)Fatuous (passion and commitment) Empty (commitment)Empty (commitment) Companionate (intimacy and commitment)Companionate (intimacy and commitment) Consummate (all three elements)Consummate (all three elements)

5. Challenges in Intimate Relationships Honesty and OpennessHonesty and Openness Unequal or Premature CommitmentUnequal or Premature Commitment Unrealistic ExpectationsUnrealistic Expectations Competitiveness Balancing Time Spent Together and/or Apart Jealousy

6. Strategies for Enhancing Support in Relationships Be aware of the importance of supportBe aware of the importance of support Learn to ask for help from your partnerLearn to ask for help from your partner Help your partner the way you would liked to be helpedHelp your partner the way you would liked to be helped Avoid negativityAvoid negativity Make positive attributions Do things for yourself once in a while Keep relationship problems separate from other support issues

7. Ending a Relationship Give the relationship a fair chance before dissolvingGive the relationship a fair chance before dissolving Be fair, tactful, honest, and compassionateBe fair, tactful, honest, and compassionate If you are the rejected person, give time to resolve anger and painIf you are the rejected person, give time to resolve anger and pain Recognize the value of the experience in order to move on towards better timesRecognize the value of the experience in order to move on towards better times

8. Communication Skills There are verbal and non-verbal forms of communicationThere are verbal and non-verbal forms of communication There are 3 keys for good communication in relationshipsThere are 3 keys for good communication in relationships Self-disclosureSelf-disclosure ListeningListening FeedbackFeedback

9. Gender and Communication Difficulties in relationships can be traced to gender differences in communicationDifficulties in relationships can be traced to gender differences in communication Men have the following communication style :Men have the following communication style : Establishing dominance/competitiveEstablishing dominance/competitive Men talk more/listen lessMen talk more/listen less Women use communication for the following:Women use communication for the following: Establishing friendshipsEstablishing friendships Seeking adviceSeeking advice Obtaining cues from listening and eye contactObtaining cues from listening and eye contact

10. Conflict Resolution Techniques Clarify the issueClarify the issue Find out what each person wantsFind out what each person wants Identify various alternativesIdentify various alternatives Decide on how to negotiate Solidify agreements Review and re-negotiate

11. Relationships and Lifestyles 1.Marriage 2.Single-hood 3.Cohabitation (living together) 4.Single Parenthood 5.Gay and Lesbian Partnerships

12. Choosing a Partner Most will consider the following:Most will consider the following: Geographical areaGeographical area Similar ethnic and socioeconomic backgroundSimilar ethnic and socioeconomic background Educational levelEducational level LifestyleLifestyle Physical attractivenessPhysical attractiveness Based upon many common characteristics, the shift goes towards basic values such as:Based upon many common characteristics, the shift goes towards basic values such as: ReligionReligion Political beliefsPolitical beliefs Sexual attitudesSexual attitudes Family/childrenFamily/children

13. Same Sex Partnerships Sharing the same sexual orientation as your partner (homosexuality)Sharing the same sexual orientation as your partner (homosexuality) Same sex partnerships provide the same as heterosexual partnershipsSame sex partnerships provide the same as heterosexual partnerships The only difference is that same-sex partnerships tend to be more egalitarian (equal) and less organized around traditional gender rolesThe only difference is that same-sex partnerships tend to be more egalitarian (equal) and less organized around traditional gender roles Also, same sex partnerships have to deal with societal hostility compared to heterosexual couplesAlso, same sex partnerships have to deal with societal hostility compared to heterosexual couples

14. Marriage Marriage 95% of all Americans marry some time in their life 95% of all Americans marry some time in their life Satisfies several basic needs Satisfies several basic needs Today, marriage is more for personal, emotional reasons Today, marriage is more for personal, emotional reasons When people enter marriage with such preconceptions, it may be harder for them to appreciate the benefits that it offers When people enter marriage with such preconceptions, it may be harder for them to appreciate the benefits that it offers

15. Benefits of Marriage AffectionAffection Personal affirmationPersonal affirmation CompanionshipCompanionship Sexual fulfillmentSexual fulfillment Emotional growthEmotional growth Setting to raise children Providing for the future Economic provision Tax issues

16. Predictors of a Happy Marriage Partners have a realistic expectation about their relationshipPartners have a realistic expectation about their relationship Each feel good about the personality of the otherEach feel good about the personality of the other They communicate wellThey communicate well They have effective ways of resolving conflictThey have effective ways of resolving conflict They agree on religious/ethical values They have an egalitarian role relationship They have a good balance of individual versus joint interests and leisure activities

17. Divorce Half of all marriages end up in divorceHalf of all marriages end up in divorce Experts suggest the reflections of the following unfulfilled expectations:Experts suggest the reflections of the following unfulfilled expectations: –Belief that marriage will ease the need to deal with own fault –Belief that marriage will change faults in your partner –Belief that romance will continue at the same level throughout marriage –Belief that marriage will provide the avenue to continue your personal power –Belief that your partner will be successful in meeting all your needs

18. Parenting Research by Diana Baumrind reveal 4 general styles of parentingResearch by Diana Baumrind reveal 4 general styles of parenting –Authoritarian (high demand/low responsiveness) –Authoritative (high demand/high responsiveness) –Permissive/Indulgent (high responsiveness/low demand) –Uninvolved (low demand/low responsivenesss)

19. Other Factors of Parenting to Consider Single ParentsSingle Parents Children’s TemperamentsChildren’s Temperaments Easy ChildrenEasy Children Difficult ChildrenDifficult Children Slow to warm up childrenSlow to warm up children StepfamiliesStepfamilies

20. Successful Families This is a family that copes successfully with stress and crisis, which involves the following:This is a family that copes successfully with stress and crisis, which involves the following: CommitmentCommitment AppreciationAppreciation CommunicationCommunication Time togetherTime together Spiritual wellnessSpiritual wellness Coping with stress and crisisCoping with stress and crisis

21. Chapter Four Intimate Relationships and Communication