1. Socioemotional Development in Early Adulthood
Chapter 14

2. Socioemotional Development
Revolves around adaptively integrating our emotional experience
....into enjoyable relations with others
.....on a daily basis
Early adult years determine what later adulthood might be like

3. Socioemotional Development
Temperament
Fewer emotional mood swings than in adolescence
More responsible
Less risk taking
Temperament in childhood linked to adjustment in adulthood

4. Socioemotional Development
Attachment
Adults count on their romantic partners to be a secure base
For comfort and security in stressful times

5. Socioemotional Development
Attachment Styles for Adults
Secure Attachment- have positive views of relationships, tend to enjoy sexuality and commitment
Avoidant attachment- are hesitant about getting involved in romantic relationships and even then tend to distance themselves
Anxious attachment - demand closeness, are less trusting, and are more emotional, jealous, and possessive

6. Socioemotional Development
Attraction
Studies: Immediate impressions can be accurate
Familiarity is an important condition for a close relationship to develop
Friends and lovers are much more like us than unlike us
They tend to have similar attitudes, values, lifestyles, and physical attractiveness
But for some characteristics... Opposites may attract

7. Socioemotional Development
Consensual validation
Why individuals are attracted to people who are similar to them
Our own attitudes and behavior are supported and validated when someone else's attitudes and behavior are similar to our own
People tend to shy away from the unknown

8. Socioemotional Development
Online attraction
16 million in the US tried Internet matchmaking
Catfish-Someone who fakes an identity on line
Many misrepresent their characteristics
Interpersonal connection may be difficult
But may benefit shy or anxious individuals

9. Socioemotional Development
Online attraction
Research: Internet relationships more likely to last more than two years compared to regular
1/3 of marriages now begin online,
and were slightly less likely to break up,
with slightly higher marital satisfaction

10. Socioemotional Development
Friendships
92% of women and 88% of men have a best friend of the same sex
Cross-gender friendships are more common among adults than children
But less common than same-gender friendships in adulthood
Good for learning about feelings and interests of the other gender
Problematic when cross-gender friendship has unclear sexual boundaries..... can cause tension and confusion

11. Socioemotional Development
Romantic Love (passionate love)- strong components of sexuality and infatuation
Often predominates early in a love relationship
Affectionate love- (companionate love)- an individual desires to have the other person near and has a deep, caring affection for the other person

12. Socioemotional Development
Sternberg Triangle of Love (page 440)
Three Dimensions
Passion - physical and sexual attraction (romantic love)
Intimacy - emotional feelings of warmth, closeness, and sharing
Commitment- Cognitive appraisal of the relationship and the intent to maintain, even in the face of problems

13. Socioemotional Development
Sternberg Triangle of Love (page 440)
The strongest form of love is Consummate Love
Involves all three dimensions
Infatuation, Affectionate love, and Fatuous (from afar) love ... One or more of the dimensions is missing

14. Socioemotional Development
Sternberg Triangle of Love (page 440)
Infatuation - Passion only
Affectionate - Passion is missing
Fatuous - intimacy is missing

15. Socioemotional Development
Falling out of love- Can be tragic......
But personal development may benefit from ending a close relationship
Can cause depression, sexual dysfunction, health problems, work problems etc.

16. Socioemotional Development
Single Adults
Percentage of single (unmarried) adults is rising
Challenges may include
Forming intimate relationships with other adults
Confronting loneliness
Finding a niche in a society that is marriage oriented

17. Socioemotional Development
Single Adults Advantages
having time to make decisions about one's life course
Time to develop personal resources to meet goals
Freedom to make autonomous decisions
Pursue one's own schedule and interests
Opportunities to explore new places and find out new things
Privacy

18. Socioemotional Development
Cohabiting Adults
Living together in a sexual relationship without being married
Dramatic increase in US couples
May not be viewed as a precursor to marriage but as an ongoing lifestyle
May just want to spend time together, share expenses, and evaluate compatibility

19. Socioemotional Development
Cohabiting Adults - Problems
Disapproval of family can be stressful
Difficulty purchasing and owning property jointly
Legal rights when the relationship ends
Research if they marry:
lower rates of satisfaction
Higher rates of divorce

20. Socioemotional Development
Married Adults
More adults are remaining single longer
27% of US adults never marry
But overall US is still a marrying society
Average duration of a marriage in the US is just over 9 years
Benefits of marriage include better physical and mental health and a longer life

21. Socioemotional Development
Premarital Education
Can help improve the quality of a marriage
Linked to higher level of marital satisfaction, commitment, and lower level of destructive marital conflict and divorce

22. Socioemotional Development
Divorced Adults - Epidemic in the US
Rate has dropped-but continues to be one of the highest in the world
Nearly half of all marriages will break up within 20 years

23. Socioemotional Development
Divorced Adults - Higher incidence
Youth,
low SES,
those with no religious affiliation,
parents who are divorced,
having a baby before marriage

24. Socioemotional Development
Divorced Adults - Higher incidence if partner...
Alcoholism
Psychological problems
Domestic violence
Infidelity
Inadequate division of household labor

25. Socioemotional Development
Divorced Adults -
Higher rates of depression
Anxiety
Physical illnesses
Suicide
Motor vehicle accidents
Alcoholism
Mortality
Complain of loneliness, and diminished self-esteem

26. Socioemotional Development
Remarried Adults
Men remarry sooner than women
Recent decline in remarriages due to increased cohabitation

27. Socioemotional Development
Remarried Families
More likely to be more unstable than first marriages, with divorce more likely to occur
Adults who remarry have a lower level of mental health... But often improve financial status
Many find difficulty with remarriage because it is not for love....
But for financial reasons
Help with rearing children
Reduce loneliness

28. Socioemotional Development
Gay and Lesbian Adults
Very similar --in their satisfactions, loves, joys, and conflicts-- to heterosexual relationships
Lesbian couples place high priority on equality in their relationships
Lesbian couples are five times more likely to be raising children than gay couples

29. Socioemotional Development
Gay and Lesbian Adult Misconceptions
One partner is masculine and the other feminine ....in only a small percentage of couples
Small segment of gay population has a large number of sexual partners
... And is uncommon in lesbians

30. Socioemotional Development
Gay and Lesbian Adult Concerns
The Stigma, prejudice and discrimination
But many feel like these concerns may bring them closer together

31. Socioemotional Development
Gottman-7 Practices that help marriage succeed:
Love Maps to express their understanding of each other and their fondness and admiration
Nurture fondness and admiration (sing praise)
Turn toward each other regularly, as friends
Let your partner influence you, share power, equality in decision making
Solve solvable conflicts, negotiating and accommodating each other
Overcome gridlock to dialogue and patience
Create shared meaning, sharing goals and working together to achieve each other's goals

32. Socioemotional Development
Parenting Myths
The birth of a child will save a failing marriage
The child will think, feel, and behave as the parent did in his or her childhood
Having a child gives the parents a "second chance' to achieve what they should have achieved
Parenting is instinctual and requires no training

33. Socioemotional Development
Parenting requires:
Many interpersonal skills
Imposes emotional demands
Many parents, parents as they were parented
... So each parent may have different styles

34. Socioemotional Development
Childbearing Trends
Average age for women is about 25
Birth control has become common
One-child families is increasing
By having fewer children -reducing the demands of childcare (women freed up)
Men are apt to invest more time in fathering
Parental care is supplemented by child care
More women are developing a career
Parents have more time for their goals

35. Socioemotional Development
Hetherington Strategies for divorced adults (page 452)
Think of divorce as a chance to grow personally and develop more positive relationships
Make decisions carefully.. Regarding work, loves, and children
Focus on the future
Use your strengths and resources to cope
Don't expect to be successful and happy in everything you do
Remember 'you are never trapped by one pathway"