1. The Five Love Languages
A Taste of…
The Five Love Languages
By Spencer and Jennifer Dunlap

2. What are the 5 Love Languages?
Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch

3. Words of Affirmation
-Verbal compliments: “You look great in that suit!”
-Words of appreciation: “Thank you for helping get the kids bathed tonight.”
-Encouraging or inspiring words: “You have a fascinating way of telling a story. You should publish some of them!”
-Showing empathy: Put yourself into his shoes when conversing with him. Don’t solve the problem.
-Kind words: Tone of voice is everything…say it with sweetness.
-Humble words: Make requests, not demands
-Indirect words of affirmation: “Your son is a great provider for our family”
-Affirming in front of others: “My husband here can grill steak better than any restaurant I know!”

4. Quality Time
A central aspect of Quality Time is togetherness—not proximity!
Involves:
Quality conversation
2 way
Learning to talk
being open with each other
Participating in quality activities
Join them in their world
No multi-tasking!!!

5. Receiving Gifts
To be an effective giver, you may need to change your attitude about money !
Methods:
Still need to be a good sterward….
Plan ahead financially
Gifts can be found, purchased, or made
Allowing your spouse to purchase something for himself or herself
Giving the gift of self (presence) in his or her time of crisis

6. Acts of Service Do-er: Must be done with a positive spirit.
Request-er: Request, never demand.
What we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage.
Must be purposeful

7. Physical Touch Implicit-casual: putting hand on shoulder, hug
Explicit-demands more focused attention: massage / intercourse
Don’t insist on touching spouse in your way and in your time.
Sex for the man (especially) is a physical need, and thus may not necessarily fill your spouse’s emotional need.

8. What is my primary Love Language?
What does he/she do or fail to do that hurts me most deeply? The opposite of this is probably your love language.
What have you most often requested of someone? The thing you ask for the most is likely the thing that would make you feel most loved.
In what ways do YOU regularly express your love to others? Your method of expressing love may be an indication that would also make you feel loved.

9. What is his or her Love Language?
What action of mine upsets or hurts spouse/others the most?
What requests or favors does my spouse/others ask of me the most?
In what ways does my spouse/others regularly express love to me?

10. Love is a Choice….
Poor choices in the past don’t mean that we can’t make good ones in the future.
The “in love experience” is different from the “emotional need for love.”
Demonstrating an action of love for your spouse that doesn’t come naturally to you is an even greater expression of love. (purposeful, must invest time/yourself)