1. Heart and Soul Connection
Strengthening Marriage
in ISKCON
By the Grihastha Vision Team

2. Bridging the Gender Gap
What are the three strengths the other gender group brings to relationships?
What do you want the other gender to understand about your gender?
What did you learn from hearing from the other gender group?

3. Question 1: Brainstorm a list of symptoms of unhealthy marriages and the consequences of broken and dysfunctional families to individual, family, ISKCON and Society at large.
Question 2: Brainstorm list symptoms of healthy marriages and the benefits of strong health families to individual, families, ISKCON and society at large.

4. Question 1: Unhealthy Individuals Anxiety ,
Families emotional problems in kids,
ISKCON diminished preaching,
Society at large increased mental illness,
Brainstorm a list
No laughter, resentment,
Symptoms of unhealthy marriages
Consequences of broken & dysfunctional families

5. 12 Principles for Successful Krishna Conscious Family Life
Alignment with Srila Prabhupada
Spiritual Growth and Progress
Spiritual Equality / Material Difference
Positive and Realistic Vision
Mutual Respect and Appreciation
Commitment and Dedication
Open and Honest Communications
Personal and Social Responsibility
Economic Development and Prosperity
Focus on Children’s Welfare
Family Love and Affection
Regulated, Balanced and Exemplary Lifestyle

6. Take Home Exercise#2
 Understand the importance of nurturing one’s own marriage and supporting healthy marriages in ISKCON for the benefit of self, family, community, greater ISKCON and society at large.

7. Take Home- Exercise #1
Everyone goes through similar challenges. It’s a normal part of learning to live together.
There are skills and attitudes that can be learned to improve relationships.

8. Difference can be honored
Differences can strengthen marriages if we use the Tṛṇād api Marriage Model.

9. The Tṛṇād api Marriage Model
Be tṛṇād api…
with chanting it is the key
Respect and humility….
Be tṛṇād api.
H umility
E mpathy
Appreciation
R espect
T olerance

10. H umility E mpathy A ppreciation R espect T olerance
Tṛṇād api is the KEY!
H umility E mpathy A ppreciation R espect T olerance
To a Heart and Soul Connection

11. H Tṛṇād api is the KEY! Humility
Seek first to understand and then to be understood.
Listen attentively, show interest, and be present.
Admit mistakes, make amends.
Practice forgiveness and letting go of resentments.

12. E Tṛṇād api is the KEY! Empathy
In conflict, your partner usually is feeling the same negative feelings you are- just for a different reason.
Be compassionate and reach out to help them.

13. A Tṛṇād api is the KEY! Appreciation
Focus on the good qualities in your spouse and others.
Express appreciation and gratitude.
It’s a skill that can and should be cultivated.

14. R Tṛṇād api is the KEY! Respect
Believe in your partner’s sincerity to be the best person they can be. (Api cet sudaracaro)

15. T Tṛṇād api is the KEY! Tolerance
70% of marital disagreements are not solvable but can be managed.
Change the things that can be changed.
Accept the things that can’t be changed.
Pray for the wisdom to know the difference.

16. What is the Grihastha Vision Team
Development and facilitation of grihastha courses- online soon!!
Mentoring and mentor training
Website and newsletters
Booths and presentations at festivals
Yearly retreats
Influence national and local policies on marriage and family
Book: Heart and Soul Connection: A Devotional Guide to Marriage, Service & Love.

18. Encouraging Premarital Education
Why it is so important

19. The Importance of Premarital Education in ISKCON
It creates shared meaning within a couple.
Participation shows the significance of marriage is important to them.
Couples realize their marriage is devotional service.
The education focuses on giving couples the knowledge of what makes a relationship successful and has them practice the skills to improve in all different areas.

20. The Importance of Premarital Education
Teaches skills for healthy relationships within the entire family.
Has long reaching outcomes that will promote a society of healthy relationships.
Proven to lower divorce rates.

21. What is Premarital Education
Both scriptural and secular research has illuminated areas of knowledge and relationship skills that help contribute to the development, success and lasting quality of a happy, loving marriage.
Compatibility
Expectations
Personalities as well as families of origin
Communication
Conflict resolution
Financial responsibility
Intimacy
Long-term goals
Spiritual foundations

22. How can this strategy be implemented?
Develop the culture within ISKCON
Train successful couples to mentor new couples
Mandate it before performing yajnas in our temples
Get priests on board

24. Mentor Couples
Identifying Mentor Couples, Training & Certifying them to become Mentors for Others

25. Characteristics of Mentor Couples
In a healthy marriage
Married at least 7 years
Willing, committed to assisting others
Have patience, tolerance, are resourceful, non-judgemental, confidential
Willing to be trained

26. Duties of Mentor Couples
Utilize tools e.g. Inventory, Reflective Listening/Respectful Speaking
Point couples to available resources
Encourage spiritual, effective behavior
Reduce anxieties of the mentees (normalize experiences)
Help mentee couples set realistic goals & review progress
Model relationship skills
Be accessible & committed

27. What Mentor Couples Don’t Do
Necessarily have the perfect marriage
Act as mother or father to the mentees
Automatically become buddies or pals
Think they have to be “on call” for every crisis
Act as therapist; (they know when to refer their mentee couples to qualified professionals and other relevant resources.)

28. Identifying and Inviting Healthy Couples to be Mentors

29. GVT offers many resources to assist mentors
Retreats
Books
GVT training and coaching for mentors
Seminars
Workshops
Articles on numerous marriage & relationship topics on the website: VaisnavaFamilyResources.org