1. Dealing with Difficult Students
Jose Gonzalez II, MA, LPC
Counseling & Testing Center
Dealing with Difficult Students

2. Disruptive/Difficult Situations
Missing classes
Entering residence hall after hours
Violating code of student conduct
Cutting/Self-mutilating behavior
Anger outbursts
Other mental health concerns (i.e. Bulimia)

3. Barriers to Effective Communication
Judging
Criticizing
Name-calling
Diagnosing
Praising Evaluatively
Sending Solutions
Ordering
Threatening
Moralizing
Excessive/Inappropriate Questioning
Advising
Avoiding the others concerns
Diverting
Logical Arguments
Reassuring
Criticizing – “You brought it on yourself”, “You’re to blame”
Name-Calling – “What an idiot”, “You are just like every insensitive male”
Diagnosing – “Just because you went to college you think you are better than I”, “You do that because you don’t know how to trust”
Praising Evaluatively – “You’re such a good girl”, “You’re such a great pianist”
Ordering – “Do your work right now!”… “because I said so”
Threatening – “You’ll do it or else”
Moralizing – “You shouldn’t….think about….”, “You should apologize”
Excessive/Inappropriate Questioning – “Why did you do that?” “What were you thinking?”
Advising – “If I were you I would…”, “that’s easy…”
Diverting – “Let’s talk about something more pleasant”, “think you’ve got it bad…”
Logical Argument – “Look at the facts”, “That’s not being rational”
Reassuring – “It’ll be ok don’t worry”, “You can make it”

4. Notes Communication built on trust
Does not mean you CANNOT say some of these things
Wording is very important
Trust: if you are going to say some of these things (i.e., constructive criticism, advising) it should be in the context of a trusting relationship
Does not mean you CANNOT: giving advice or being rational is not BAD; however, in difficult situations it can be a barrier.

5. Body Language Posture Body Motion Eye contact Posture:
- incline body toward the speaker
- face the other squarely
- maintain an open position
- position yourself at an appropriate distance from the speaker
maintain eye level
Body Motion
avoid distracting motions and gestures & stimuli
Fiddling with pencil
Fidgeting
Cracking knuckles
Eye Contact:
Triangle method
Look at one eye for 5 seconds
Other eye for 5 seconds
Mouth for 5 seconds
Repeat

6. DO’s of difficult situations
DO allow the person to vent and explain what is upsetting him/her.
DO be aware of your physical environment for your personal safety
DO set limits. Explain what behaviors are acceptable. For example, “I will be willing to speak with you as soon as you lower your voice.”
DO offer to make referrals. If possible, offer the name of an individual who may be able to help.

7. DON’Ts of Difficult Situations
DON’T interrupt, especially during the peak of the person’s anger.
DON’T minimize the situation.
DON’T get into an argument or shouting match.
DON’T touch.

8. General Tips Remain calm
Try to set a positive tone to the conversation
Behavior vs. them as a person
Avoid win-lose conflicts
Treat all students respectfully
Be aware of cultural differences
Speak in private

9. Discussion
What have been some of the more difficult situations that you had to deal with?
What worked in the situation?
What could have been done differently?