1. Commenting With Purpose:
Developing Better Writers through written feedback and evaluation
CMU Writing Center Josh Whicker, WAC Coordinator

2. Agenda Commenting for Editing and Commenting for Revision
Responding to Student Writing
Reflection
Writing Center Resources

3. Commenting for Editing and Commenting for Revision
“The basic principle of commenting is that your comments are part of a communication between you and your student, and the comment only succeeds if it produces the desired learning on the student’s part.”
Commenting for Editing and Commenting for Revision
(Walvoord & Anderson, 1998, p. 123)

4. (Bean, 2011, p.83)

5. (Bean, 2011, p. 84)

6. Types of Response Global Praise Personal Response Text Playback
Type of Response
Definition
Example
Global Praise
Intended to make the writer feel good about their work
“Great Paper”
Personal Response
Focuses on the psychological involvement of the writer as a person not as a writer.
“You sound like a depressed kid.”
Text Playback
Focuses on the ideas or organization of the text.
“I think you have an excellent conclusion because it demonstrates the narrators growth.”
Sentence Edits
Focuses on more sentence level topics, often grammar and punctuation.
“Run-on sentence.”
Word Edits
Focuses on the use of words and spelling.
“You seem to repeat the phrase ‘family institution.’ I would vary word choice.”
Reader’s Needs
Focuses on needs or reactions of readers.
“This confuses the reader a little bit. At first I think you are Asian and experiencing racism in that way.”
Writer’s Strategies
Focuses on facilitating the writer’s work by discussing the techniques that were used or could be used by the writer.
“You might be able to increase the impact of this section by not using chronological order.”
(Simmons, 2003, p.686)

7. Keep in Mind
Three questions to ask before making comments on student papers:
What kind of commenting best serves course objectives?
What kind of commenting best serves writing development?
What kind of commenting is the most useful to the student?
Don’t edit---- According to R. Baird Shuman, “student writing improves dramatically when teachers mark no more than a set number of errors in a paper.” Additionally, the burden of editing should fall to the student and not to yourself. Identify and explain, in writing, a policy for mechanical errors and stick to that.
(Central Michigan University, 2006)

8. Keep in Mind What uses your time most effectively?
Don’t edit, but do note patterns of error.
Peer revision groups
Workshops available from the Writing Center
Group consultations rather than individual, ideally peer revision groups.
(Central Michigan University, 2006)

9. Responding to Student Writing

10. Guidelines for Writing Effective Commentary
Consider asking students to identify what they see as the strengths and weaknesses of their papers.
Read the paper through without marking on it.
Focus comments on substantive issues, not mechanical errors.
Respond respectfully as a reader.
Write a substantive endnote.
Always include positive feedback throughout a draft.
1. This will help focus what you comment on, saving you time.
2. This helps to identify global comments, the kind of comments that support quality revision.
3. While the mechanics of writing are important, clear communication of ideas is more so. Misplaced commas and verb tenses don’t necessarily mean a student
doesn’t have mastery of a concept, particularly with international and non traditional students.
4. Obviously, treating writers with respect is important. (awkward example). This focuses on the idea that providing feedback as a reader rather than an instructor allows the discovery of another layer of comments regarding clarity, credibility, and engagement and a way to communicate them that helps the writer remember that they are writing for an audience not just for an assignment, helping to reinforce the development of writing skills rather than assignment completion.
5. Just as a conclusion serves a specific purpose in an essay, a thoughtful and substantive endnote does the same for your feedback to students. Summarizing what has been discussed in your comments to students helps reinforce them and the priority with which they should be addressed.
6. Only commenting on the opportunities a student has to improve a draft may have adverse affects on their opinion of themselves as a writer, which may lead to demoralization.
(Hedengren, 2004, pp )

11. 1. Does the Draft Follow the Assignment?
If not, there is no sense in commenting further
Encourage writer to reread assignment guidelines and refer to the rubric, your tools of communication.
Encourage the writer to seek help from you regarding the information you have communicated in the guidelines and rubric.
(Bean, 2011, pp )

12. 2. Does the Draft Address a Problem/Question? Does it Have a Thesis?
Where does it seem to be “headed?”
Does it wrestle with a real problem or issue, something that may create meaning for the student?
Does it have a thesis?
Does it address its stated purpose?
(Bean, 2011, p.323)

13. 3. What is the Overall Quality of the Writer’s Ideas/Argument?
Are arguments well supported?
Is the ratio of summary to argument appropriate?
Are sources used to support claims credible?
Is there a synthesis of applicable information, or is only one perspective recognized as valid?
Is the claim or interpretation communicated clearly?
(Bean, 2011, p.323)

14. Examples of Comments on Quality of Argument
Nice comparison of X to Y here.
Expand and explain? Could you give an example?
Could you be overlooking X’s point of view here?
There may be more summarizing in this part than you need.
What’s your evidence for this assertion?
(Bean, 2011, pp )

15. 4. Is the Draft Organized Effectively?
Do the title and intro orient the reader to the draft’s purpose?
Could the reader easily outline the draft or write a summary of the argument?
Can the reader tell the purpose or function of each paragraph?
Are the paragraphs unified and coherent?
Do some parts need more development?
Can parts be deleted without harming the overall argument?
What seems to be missing from the draft?
Can parts be shifted around at all?
(Bean, 2011, p.324)

16. 3 Quick Ways to Comment on Organization
Use marginal notes to indicate where you are lost or confused, emphasizing that this is a reaction that readers in general may have.
Comment on the title, headings, and introduction and discuss the way these set expectations in readers’ minds.
Comment on topic sentences and transitions, asking students to consider how they logically connect ideas.
(Bean, 2011, p.324)

17. Suggestions for Writing End Comments that Encourage Revision
3-Step Template:
Strengths, then
Summary of a limited number of important issues, then
Recommendations for revisions
Privilege Specificity
(Bean, 2011, p.333)

18. Suggestions for Writing End Comments that Encourage Revision
Example:
Paula,
This is an excellent draft, perhaps one revision away from an A. I like very much your discussion of Diem’s leadership and the rise of dissent in Vietnam. You set your ideas clearly and with strong evidence.
However, I got lost in a few places, which I noted in the marginal comments. It would also help your reader if you mapped out your purpose and structure more clearly in the introduction. Finally in the middle of the paper, you need to expand and clarify your discussion Vietnamese attitudes toward American soldiers. I wasn’t quite sure what your point was in that whole section. Again, check my marginal comments to see where I got confused. Good job. I’m looking forward to your revision.
(Bean, 2011, p.334)

19. Reflective Thinking
How are you inserting yourself into the writer’s text?
What relationship do you want to maintain with the text and the writer?
How does this affect writer agency?
How can tools like “track changes” and “highlight” do work for you? How do they influence your actions
How are student perceptions of you changed in an online environment versus face to face?
How can your comments be interpreted without the context of your own thoughts or the benefit of immediate dialogue?

20. Writing Center Resources
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We work with all writers at all levels
We can help:
identify resources for course specific topics
writing assignment design, writing assessment design, assignment sheet clarity, and more
Provide electronic resources for students and faculty
Present Workshops tailored to student and Faculty needs
Contact us!
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(989)
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Writing Center Resources

21. References
Bean, J. C.(2011). Engaging ideas. San Fransisco: Jossey-Bass. Central Michigan University. (2006, May). Managing the paper load. CMU Englsih 201 Summer Institute. Hedengren, Beth F. (2004). A TA’s guide to teaching writing in all disciplines. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin’s. Murray, D.M. (1985). A writer teaches writing (2nd ed.). Boston: Houghton Mifflin. Murray, D.M. (1998). The craft of revision (3rd ed.). Fort Worth, TX: Harcourt Brace. Simmons, J. (2003) Responders are taught, not born. Journal of Adolescent and Adult Literacy 46(8),