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Dating and Relationships
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Review We should be thinking about, looking for, ready for romance at any time. But the Bible warns us against idolatry, and calls us to patience and contentment with what God has for us now. Love is about finding someone who will make us happy and fulfill what we’re looking for in a relationship. But the Bible argues that this is selfishness and lust, not love. Biblical relationships look for someone who loves Jesus more than they love us. What we think about, watch, and wear has little influence on what we do. But the Bible calls us to an integrated life of purity. Emotional and physical intimacy is ok for relationships, as long as we don’t cross a particular line. But the Bible argues that we should not awaken love before it’s time, and that we are to treat each other as brothers and sisters in Christ, with all purity.
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Practical Advice Trust that God is sovereign, good, wise, and faithful to you. Rest in that trust. - Sometimes we want to date or be in a relationship right now because it is fun and satisfying - Someone else might get there first! If you are dating, make it a goal for your friendship or relationship to be about other people and inclusive of other people. If you are dating in high school, act as if you’re dating someone else’s husband/wife. - You probably are - It will help you make decisions on physical and emotional boundaries
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Your Questions If you feel like you have crossed physical boundaries with a girl, what should you do? Can you continue with the relationship or does it need to end? 2 Cor. 7:9-11 and 1 John 2:1-2. Godly sorrow and repentance, and the hope of forgiveness in Christ. 9 times out of 10, the relationship should probably at least take a good break if not end.
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Your Questions What is the “right” age to start dating?
First, any dating friendship or relationship should be done in full communication with your parents, with your parents support and blessing, and submitting with respect to their standards here. The closer you are to being ready to be married, the more likely it is that a dating relationship will be successful.
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Your Questions Is it ok to date someone who is not a Christian?
1 Corinthians 7:39 says that we must marry only in the Lord. It would seem odd to date someone that we couldn’t marry without disobeying God. In a dating friendship, you should be encouraging one another to grow in Christ; we should look for someone that loves Jesus more than he/she loves us; we should look to glorify God together in what we do and how we serve. None of this is even possible with someone who doesn’t love Jesus! Our good friends, our close friends, the friends we spend the most time with, even of our same gender should be Christians who can encourage us in Christ.
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Your Questions Actors kiss a lot in movies or plays because they are telling a story. How should we think about that if we are in a play or movie and how should we think about that watching movies/plays? I would not see any justification for acting a role in a movie that requires you to do something physically or sexually that crosses biblical lines just because you’re acting in a story.
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Your Questions How do you keep your mind and heart pure while waiting? What is an appropriate way to desire a relationship with the opposite gender, and how much is it ok to think about it? First of all, practice the power of replacement. Trust that God will bring the right relationship, trust and obey God’s boundaries and guidelines for relationships, and work to develop healthy friendships in groups with guys and girls
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