1. Positive Solutions for Families
Session 2
Why Do Children Do
What They Do?
and
How Do I Teach Them What to Do?

2. What’s Happening Today?
Share your Things to Try at Home activities
Fill/Refill your child’s relationship tank
Positive comments and encouragement
Playing with your child (following his/her lead)
Behaviors to see less of and more of
Determining the meaning of behavior
Making our expectations clear
Developing household rules
Discuss fun strategies and ideas that you can use to teach your child what to do:
Emotional Literacy
Controlling Anger and Handling Disappointment
Problem Solving
Review Things to Try at Home activities

3. Behavior is Language!

4. Make Your “Expectations” Clear
Tell your child what to do instead of what not to do.
Clearly and simply state what you expect your child to do.
Have age-appropriate expectations.
Use age-appropriate language. Young children have difficulty with contractions (two words that are combined to form one, such as “don’t” and “can’t”).

5. What’s a Better Way to Say? Workbook Activity #6
Stop yelling!
Don’t throw your toys!
Stop bothering your sister!
Don’t spill your milk.
Stop whining.
Be good.
Be nice.
Cut it out. 5 5

6. “Rules” for Rules Pick only 3 to 5.
State the behavior you want to see. Be descriptive. What does the behavior look like?
Pick rules that can be applied in a lot of situations.

7. Rule Examples Clean up after yourself. Use an inside voice.
Ask before you use something that is not yours.
Use words to solve problems.

8. Help Me Be Successful! Teach me what to do!
Show and Tell
Practice Makes Perfect
You Got It!

9. Using Pictures to Teach Rules
Get out your camera
Snap a photograph of what you want your child “to do”
Post it, model it, practice it, and notice when it’s done and praise it!
If your rule is “clean up”…show him/her

10. Emotional Vocabulary 10

11. Children with a Strong Foundation in Emotional Vocabulary…
tolerate frustration better
get into fewer fights
engage in less
destructive behavior
are healthier
are less lonely
are less impulsive
are more focused
have greater academic achievement 11

12. Enhancing Emotional Vocabulary Workbook Handout #9
Talk about feelings
Ask your child to tell you how he/she feels
Teach new emotion words (e.g., frustrated, confused, anxious, excited, worried)
Talk about how characters in a book, video, or on TV may feel
Reflect on situations and discuss feelings
Accept and support your child’s expression of feelings
Use books and art activities to talk about emotions 12 12

13. English/
Spanish 13 13

14. Use Songs and Games… Example: “If you’re happy and you know it…”
Add new verses to introduce new feeling words:
If you’re happy and you know it, hug your mom (or dad)!
If you’re sad and you know it, cry a tear: “Boo hoo!”
If you’re mad and you know it, use your words: “I’m mad!”
If you’re scared and you know it, get some help, “HEEELLLLPPP!” 14

15. Children’s Book Nook Workbook Handout #915 15

16. Children’s Books Workbook Handout #10 and Activity #11
Get with a partner and read the book.
What feeling words could you teach your child?
What fun games or activities could you use that would relate to the book? 16

17. Controlling Anger and Impulse
How can we help our children…
recognize anger in themselves and others?
learn how to calm down?
understand appropriate ways to express anger?

18. Turtle Tuck Workbook Handout #18
Recognize
that you
feel angry.
Think,
“Stop.”
Go into shell. Take 3 deep breathes. And think calm, coping thoughts.
Come out of shell when calm and thinking of a solution. 18 18

19. Problem-Solving Steps19 19

20. Help Your Child Think of Possible Solutions
Get an adult
Ask nicely
Ignore
Play
Say, “Please stop”
Say, “Please”
Share
Trade toys/item
Wait and take turns

21. Setting The Stage for Success!
Try to anticipate problems
Stay near your child
Support your child
Encourage your child 21 21

22. Teach Me What to Do! Tell Me, Show Me, Help Me
Emotional Vocabulary
Controlling Anger and Disappointment
Problem Solving 22 22

23. Things to Try at Home!
Observer your child and try Determining the Meaning of Behavior (Activity #5)
Developing Household Rules (Activity #7)
Pick some of the strategies or ideas that we have talked about during this session and write 3 ideas that you can do with your child this week to teach emotional vocabulary skills. (Activity #15)
Have fun with your child!