1. Raising Empowered Kids
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2. Fulton Psychological Group
Individual Therapy
Group Therapy
Parent Training
Family Therapy
Couples Therapy
Psychological Testing
Psychiatry
Humanitarian Therapy
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3. Fulton Psychological Group
Empowerment
A sense of inner confidence, courage and strength to successfully overcome whatever life presents.
Having hope.
Having self-efficacy.
Having “grit”.
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4. Helping Kids Become Empowered
Teach Communication Skills
Improve Resilience
Build Self-Esteem
Build Competencies
Teach Coping Skills
Have a Balanced Parenting Style
Build Social Support System
Teach Healthy Habits
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5. Teach Communication Skills
Active listen, respond to both content and emotions
Respond to both manifest and latent content
Be willing to discuss anything
Help establish feelings vocabulary
Do the “try that again” method
Model good communication
Work on timing
Ask open ended questions
Ask specific questions
Give feedback
What I hear you saying is…
When Quinn melted down first day of school (manifest: no red pen, Latent: I’m scared of being unprepared for 7th grade)
Give example of girl saying “dad you don’t know me”. What she was really saying was I don’t feel like I matter to you
Try that again method is to help with the sarcasm
Delivery and timing
Basic Skills: eye contact, body language, tone and articulate

6. Fulton Psychological Group
Watch the Tone
Be empathic, show you understand their plight
Avoid a negative or hostile tone
Be direct and don’t engage in the drama
Avoid getting too loud or too emphatic
Don’t be dismissive, take your children serious (their points are serious to them)
Sandwich critical feedback
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7. Fulton Psychological Group
Don’t Tell, Ask
When your children come to you with a problem, ask how they would approach it
When you see your children making a mistake, ask what the outcomes could be
Ask your children to evaluate themselves
Implement some of their ideas
Thinking aloud helps model problem solving
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8. Improve Resilience Adapting well in the face of adversity and stress
Bouncing back
Most people can handle one trauma as long as you have the tools and support to handle it (death, divorce, etc.)

9. Resilience Factors Personal Factors: Family Environment:
Easy temperament: outgoing, flexible
High self-esteem
Mastery approach: success due to ability and failure due to self (made a mistake, didn’t prepare) or environment
Family Environment:
Warmth, closeness and structure
Close relationship with someone outside the family
Offers support system and positive coping model (mentor)
The good news is that it’s your fault

10. Threats to Resilience Trauma Abuse Divorce Disability
Loss of a loved one
Chronic stress
Too much change
Lack of a support system
People can handle one stressor pretty well. Two and they start to decompensate

11. How Parents can Improve Resilience
Be empathetic (we want to feel understood)
Have reasonable expectations
Teach the model of success
Give more decision making as child matures
Be communicative (think aloud)
Don’t react negatively to negative emotions
Give more responsibility to your child
Model healthy lifestyle
The model of success is when your child works for something and achieves it (snow patrol story)

12. Build Self-Esteem Praise & encourage, don’t over do it
Help build skills and competencies
Help your child find her successes, but let her succeed not because of you
Train your child to cope with failure & disappointment
Inquire rather than lecture when you see your teen make a mistake
Encourage child to accept both strengths and weaknesses in self

13. Identify Your Child’s Strengths and Weaknesses
Identify the specific characteristics of your child and what she will need to learn to succeed
Dependent vs. independent
Sociable vs. withdrawn
Persistent vs. gives up easy
Disciplined vs. undisciplined
Resourceful vs. naive
Match the environment to your child’s style, needs and strengths

14. Teach Coping Skills
Cognitive: make lists, prioritize, put into perspective, problem solve, gratitude
Physical: exercise, sleep, nutrition, meditation, massage, relaxation
Emotional: express, journal, distract self
Relational: share with friends, socialize
Spiritual: pray, attend services, be in nature

15. Fulton Psychological Group
Build Competencies
Try different activities
Have child learn model of success
Help child recognize effort pays off
Have child self-evaluate
Let child do things she wants to do even if she’s not good at it
Teach child to feel joy in doing things
Avoid the perfection-failure dichotomy
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16. Tools for your Teens Teach how to learn from mistakes
Avoid getting angry at your teen for making mistakes, ask how he’ll learn from it and make it right
Teach how to prepare
Vocalize your own methods of preparation
Have teen practice making a schedule (studying on weekend)
Responsibility
Be less involved and have teen involved with decisions
Your teen should have chores and household responsibilities
Problem solving skills
Ask for don’t give solutions
Empathize, identify problem, identify solution, agree on solution

17. Have a Balanced Parenting Style
Authoritarian
Rigid, demands obedience, non-communicative
Authoritative
Set rules, communicates reasoning, affectionate
Permissive (involved vs. uninvolved)
Few boundaries, little structure, may or may not communicate or be involved
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18. Fulton Psychological Group
Setting Boundaries
Okay to say “no” and take some heat
It’s okay to punish your child (passive & active)
No new evidence law
Kids ask “why not” not for clarification but to set up the argument
Everything outside of food, water, shelter, love and clothing is a privilege
If your child doesn’t respond to you on the phone, take it and have passwords
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19. Relating vs. Managing Relating Managing Being involved
Communicating: talk, text, and leave notes
Leisure: attending sports events, movies, concerts
Hanging out: Meals together, TV watching, reading, driving, listening to music
Managing
Checking up on school work
Having child attend to chores and household responsibilities
Corrective comments regarding behavior
Reminding
Avoid electronics in car so you can converse

20. How Much Involvement Depends on how your child is doing
As child gets older, avoid checking each homework assignment, check Aeries
Know where your child is and with whom, but let them go out
Let them get themselves up and maintain schedule, but check how they are preparing
Let them fail or make mistakes within reason and don’t always bail them out

21. Parent Survival Tips It’s a marathon, not a sprint
Don’t personalize their attempt at independence: breaking rules, lying, sassing & accusations of stupidity
Balance your involvement and control
Keep up the relationship and be reassuring
Look at the big picture and enjoy your teen
Role model healthy habits
Avoid engaging

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Things to Avoid
Being overly critical (they need your acceptance)
Interrogations and yes & no questions
Asking self incriminating questions when you know the answer
Repeating yourself
Using too many words
Talking when tempers are flaring
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23. Build a Social Support System
Have a positive relationship with your child
Make sure your child can go to you for help
Teach your child how to reach out
Make sure your child has good peer relationships
Encourage good relationships with adults
Have you child seek out a mentor
Get child involved with extra-curricular activities
Social support system is number one correlate to mental health
Make sure you don’t over-react to your child, the more you react the less they will tell you
Get teen involved with sports, student government, band, etc.
May be hard to do so with more introverted or shy kids, a couple of friends will suffice

24. Teach Healthy Habits
Take care of body through exercise, nutrition and sleep
Set boundaries on others
Keep a balance in life between work and fun
Visualize hopeful outlook
Learn and practice relaxation skills
Fish oil
Don’t overdo it with one sport
Stay away from the drugs

25. Teach Daily Living Skills
Cooking
Shopping
Eating habits
Cleaning
Laundry
Time Management
Money Management
Allowance
Make own purchases
Budget