1. Dealing with Difficult People
in the Workplace
November 8, 2016
Presented By:
Stephen Lopez

2. MYTH: Difficult people were put on earth just to mess with me!
Myths vs.
Facts
MYTH: Difficult people were put on earth just to mess with me!
FACT: Many difficult people are focused on their own issues, and not on you. They often are having difficulty figuring out how to deal with a problem.

3. Myths vs. Facts MYTH: The police are here to protect and serve.
FACT: The police cannot protect you
most of the time. Most of the time,
they respond to calls for help.

4. Myths vs. Facts MYTH: It is management’s responsibility
to protect me at work.
FACT: It is everyone’s responsibility to
use safety precautions and follow
safety procedures.

5. BEFORE . . .
The time to start dealing with a difficult person is BEFORE they are in your office
Have safety plans in place in the office
Identify frequent problem situations
Identify resources
Create resources
Practice deflection techniques
©1999 – NMSU Police Department.

6. Why are people difficult?
Don’t understand what is happening
Don’t know how to resolve problem
Don’t like the options they see
Tired
Frustrated
Dealing with other problems
Feel ignored or that you don’t care
Lack of adequate feedback
Bullies
Sometimes it is only our perception
©1999 – NMSU Police Department.

7. Where do we start?
Despite how it looks, remember that the other person is usually focused on themselves, and isn’t really trying to push your buttons (well, mostly)
Recognize the situation:
Have similar situations caused problems in the past?
Is there a history with this person?
©1999 – NMSU Police Department.

8. Where do we start? What is their goal? What is your goal?
Implement safety procedures if needed or appropriate (e.g., have others present)
Identify options (in advance, if possible)
Use effective, tactical communication
©1999 – NMSU Police Department.

9. Sample Safety Procedures
Have someone else nearby
Use a pre-designated “triage room”
Have a code phrase worked out with colleagues, and a plan of what to do
Report safety concerns:
Police
CARE Team
Supervisor
Have a plan for escape
©1999 – NMSU Police Department.

10. What is Tactical Communication?
The expressing of ideas and conveying of messages
through the use of verbal and non-verbal means
in a manner that does not jeopardize the safety of
the employee.

11. Effective Communication Requires:
Sender

12. Effective Communication Requires:
Sender
Receiver

13. Effective Communication Requires:
Sender
Receiver
Message

14. Effective Communication Requires:
Feedback
Sender
Receiver
Message

15. Interference Caused By:
???????
Different
Language
Sender
Receiver
Yo quero
Taco Bell.
Message

16. Interference Caused By:
NOISE
Sender
Receiver

17. Interference Caused By:
What’s a
bloody “yawl”?
Cultural
Differences
How
Y’All
Doing?
Sender
Receiver
Message

18. Interference Caused By:
What’s he
asking?
Problems with
Encoding/Decoding
What
did he
say?
Sender
Receiver
Message

19. Interference Caused By:
Does he think
I’m stupid?
Bias and
assumptions
It needs to
be done
this way.
Sender
Receiver
Message

20. Interference Caused By:
I feel sick. It
must have been
the chocolate.
Preoccupation
I would
like some
chocolate.
Sender
Receiver
Message

21. Message Impact Speaking 7% Voice Inflection 38% Body Language 45%
Reading/Writing 10%
NOTE: Over 80% of most peoples’ information comes from what they see. Humans are very visual.

22. Tips on Dealing with Difficult People
Introduce yourself
If initiating contact, tell why
Be an active listener
Empathize
Re-word and repeat
Re-direct the conversation
Focus on a solution

23. Tips on Dealing with Difficult People
Present options (make them part of the solution)
Be honest
Remain professional, deflect negative attacks/statements
Speak softly
Use “non-threatening” posture
Gather necessary information
Is this going to make it worse?”

24. Useful Deflection Phrases:
I would like to help you, but I need you to . . .
Let me make sure I understand what you need . . .
There are several options you can consider . . .
I don’t have the ability to do that, but let me connect you with . . .
I’m sorry that happened to you, but . . .

25. In Your Workplace . . .
SET LIMITS - If someone is acting inappropriately, tell them their conduct is not acceptable.
If calm, work toward solution.
Use resources as appropriate.
If they are not calm or they persist, ask them to leave.
If they refuse, call police.

26. On Physical Safety . . .
It is time to stop talking and start doing when:
A physical attack is taking place

27. On Physical Safety . . .
It is time to stop talking and start doing when:
A physical attack is taking place
You reach the point of excessive repetition

28. On Physical Safety . . .
It is time to stop talking and start doing when:
A physical attack is taking place
You reach the point of excessive repetition
You recognize significant threat assessment cues

29. Threat Assessment Clues
- Verbalized threats, swearing, challenging;
Subject clenches his/her fists;
Subject’s face gets red (or sometimes pale);
Subject’s teeth are clenched, lips are tight against
the teeth, or jaw is set;
Subject starts to take deep breaths;
Subject starts to turn into a bladed (fighter’s) stance;
Subject keeps glancing at possible weapons or target
areas

30. Threat Assessment Clues
- Subject starts to rock back and forth, shifts body
weight, or starts to stand on the balls of the feet;
Subject stares past you (thousand-yard stare) or ignores you;
Subject makes direct, uninterrupted eye contact;
Subject’s mood changes drastically in a brief time;
Subject starts to close distance for no apparent reason;
Subject moves in exaggerated or aggressive manner;
Subject tries to distract you.

31. On Detecting Lies . . . It is easy to lie with words, but
harder to lie with the body. If
the body language “says” something
different from the words, tend to
believe the body language.

32. Before you start working:
On the Personal Side
Before you start working:
Assess your personal situation
Know your triggers
Remind yourself why you do what you do in your job
Make a commitment to be a professional
Anticipate difficult situations
©2000 – NMSU Police Department.

33. At the end of the day: On the Personal Side Assess your performance
Acknowledge what you did well
Identify what didn’t go as planned
Identify ways to improve tomorrow
Breath
Leave it at work
Have a means of healthy relaxation
©2000 – NMSU Police Department.

34. QUESTIONS
And
ANSWERS