1. 6 Steps to Helping Your Spouse Feel Special & Loved:
Let memories be your guide
Create traditions and special times
Don’t miss significant occasions
Be demonstrative with love (secure & appreciated spouses are rarely demanding)
Build up- don’t chip away your spouse (praise deficit)
Accept spouse for who he/she is not who you want them to be

2. Remember... “In survey after survey, at least 80% of couples in long-term successful relationships report that they have become best friends… they feel accepted with their faults and have come to accept their mates as a package deal.” Dr. Georgia Witkin

3. Tidbits... Do you remember your 1st date?
Create a partner-focused marriage- not…
If we are not enjoying this… then why are we doing it? (Genesis 2:18)

4. Ingredients to a Playful Spirit
Having the ability to:
play… apart from your spouse
be a friend… apart from your spouse
try new things… an openness to it
“compartmentalize” & put aside
commit to a friendship… Is she your pal?
Spend energy, effort & time to make it happen

5. Adult
Child
Nurturing Parent

6. Child
Adult
Nurturing Parent
Parent (Critical)

7. What Stops Your Playful Spirit? What Part of You Needs to Grow ?

8. Roadblocks to a Playful Spirit
Anger
Depression
Stress
Unresolved issues between you
Unresolved issues from your past
Birth-order

9. Recreation & Companionship are Important to Both…
What is a “best friend?”
What attracted you to each other in the beginning?
What do you enjoy doing together?
How much time do you spend laughing together?
When is the last time you had a play date?

10. How to be playful with your spouse
Pray… ask God to lead & help
Deal with your personal issues
Learn from your past- with & without your spouse
Talk… what would you like to do?
Create a list of ideas… brainstorm
Commit to “compartmentalize” & try new behaviors on a regular basis

11. Creating Intimacy Through Play…
Do things together
Enter each other’s world
Be a safe person to the other
Create “benchmark times” (“check-in’s”)

12. Remember, feelings often follow behavior… don’t be such a “teenager”!

13. What are fun things to do?
Create Traditions Together:
special occasions
holiday traditions
fall get-a-way traditions
New Years eve cooking
surprise birthday get-a-ways
Saturday morning coffee & paper
Sunday afternoon walks
annual sporting event get-a-way

14. What are fun things to do?
Create Traditions Together:
special occasions
holiday traditions
fall get-a-way traditions
New Years eve cooking
surprise birthday get-a-ways
Saturday morning coffee & paper
Sunday afternoon walks
annual sporting event get-a-way

15. What are fun things to do?
Touch Each Other:
massage
hold hands
back scratch
stroke hair
tickle
hug
sexual & non-sexual

16. What are fun things to do?
Talk Together:
jokes -learn to laugh
dreams -be creative
hopes -find your “happy place”
fears -past experiences
sing
fantasies
movies * use tools to help

17. What are fun things to do?
Surprise Each Other:
notes
cards
gifts
jokes
voic
flowers
fun jar

18. Remember, Men value doing things… Women value talking together… we need to do both

19. What are fun things to do?
Date Each Other:
Formal dinner in the park date
I’m just too tired date (order in & movie
Photo Date- picture of your favorite places
Gourmet cooking date
Home Depot date
Window shopping date
Owl watching date

20. Yellow Road/Blue Highway date (no fast food or 4 lanes allowed)
Workout date
Airport date
Proposal date- go public & say it again
Coupon date
Bubble date
Croquet/Bocce’ Ball date in the park
Water date
New sport date
Dancing lesson date

21. Honeymoon memory date
Kidnap date
Clue date
Marriage enrichment workshop date
Host a dinner party date
Marriage history date- catalogue good times together
cards-backgammon-game date
Drive date
Limo date
Fly a kite date

22. Switch date
Amusement park date
Relive (or improve) your 1st date date
Marriage check-up date (what are 5 things you want to do in the future together? What do you like about your spouse? What is the best thing about your marriage?)

23. Kudos to you..

24. Concluding Thoughts
How much time do you spend together? How do you spend it? Can you look at your spouse & truly say he/she is your friend? Why? Why not? Have you taken care of the roadblocks to your playful spirit? Why not? What do you need to do to change this?

25. What can you do? Get help if you need… see a marriage counselor… go to marriage retreats- seminars...

26. Top 5 Love Needs of: women Men
Unconditional Love & Acceptance
Emotional Intimacy & Communication (equals intimacy)
Spiritual Intimacy
Encouragement & Affirmation
Companionship
Unconditional Love & Acceptance
Sexual Intimacy (equals intimacy)
Companionship
Encouragement & Affirmation
Spiritual Intimacy