1. Coming Apart: Separation and Divorce
Chapter 13

2. Chapter Outline The Meaning of Divorce Divorce in the US
Factors Affecting Divorce
The Process of Separation
Consequences of Divorce
Children and Divorce
Child Custody
What to Do about Divorce

3. The Meaning of Divorce Legal Meaning Fault- Based Divorce
a person alleges that his or her spouse is responsible for the failed marriage through such actions as adultery, cruel and inhuman treatment, mental cruelty, habitual drunkenness, and desertion.
No-Fault Divorce
the couple can divorce without either having to accuse the other or prove the other responsible for the failure of their marriage. They can simply claim that irreconcilable differences make it impossible for them to continue as married

4. The Realities of Divorce
Stations of Divorce
Emotional Divorce
When one or both spouses disengages from the marriage
Legal Divorce
The court-ordered termination of a marriage
Economic Divorce
The dividing of property, money, and resources
The Coparental Divorce
Deals with issues of child custody, visitation, and support
The Community Divorce
The juggling of ex-in-laws and friends
The Psychic Divorce
When one again feels like a separate individual

5. Divorce in the US Ratio Measure of Divorce Crude Divorce Rate
Calculating the ratio of marriages to divorces in a given year to identify the commonality of each
Crude Divorce Rate
The number of divorces in a giver year per 1,000 people
Refined Divorce Rate
The number of divorces in a giver year per 1,000 marriages
Predictive Divorce Rate
An estimate of how many new marriages will end in divorce

6. Both marriage and divorce rates have fallen in the last 30 years.

7. Societal Factors Affecting Divorce
Changed Nature of the Family
Production has moved from the home to the factory making the family a non-essential unit
Social Integration
The degree of interaction between individuals and the larger community can affect the rate of divorce.
Individualistic Cultural Values
Society views individual happiness over that of the family.

8. Demographic Factors Affecting Divorce
Employment
Low-status occupations have higher divorce rates than those in high-status occupations.
Income
The higher the family’s income, the lower the divorce rate.
Educational Level
Those with higher education tend to have lower divorce rates.
Ethnicity
African Americans have the highest rates of divorce.
Religion
A high frequency of religious attendance lowers the risk of divorce.

9. Life Course Factors Affecting Divorce
Age at Time of Marriage
The younger one gets married, the higher the risk of divorce.
Premarital Pregnancy and Birth
Becoming pregnant or giving birth prior to marriage increase the likelihood of divorce.
Cohabitation
Cohabiting prior to marriage increases the risk of later divorce.
Remarriage
The divorce rate for remarriages is higher than for first marriages.
Intergeneration Transmission
Person’s whose parents are divorced have greater odds of divorcing themselves.

10. Family Processes Marital Happiness Children Marital Problems
Low levels of happiness in the early years of marriage increase the risk of divorce. This risk decreases as the marriage goes on
Children
Couples who have children decrease their risk of divorce.
Marital Problems
Problems can arise due to infidelity, alcohol or drug abuse, growing apart, in-laws, and communication troubles.
Serve as proximal causes of later divorce – things that are present in daily life that raise the probability of divorce
Also serve as distal causes – those things that each person brings to the relationship (i.e. education, income, religion, etc.)

11. The Process of Separation
Moving towards divorce is a process, not a single event.
This process is referred to as ‘uncoupling.’
Initiator
One person who is unable to find happiness in the relationship and initiates the end of the relationship.
Separation Distress
Distress caused by the absence of one’s spouse.
Each person must create a new identity apart from the ‘couple’ identity. He /She must transition into a new routine and recover from his/her distress.
Many find that dating new people helps eliminate separation distress.

12. Consequences of Divorce
Economic
No-fault divorce laws systematically impoverish women and children.
Women usually gain custody of children following a divorce and are therefore responsible for their economic stability.
Triple consequences of age, gender, and ethnicity.
Alimony
A monetary payment a former spouse makes to the other to meet his/her economic needs.
Child Support
A monetary payment made by the non-custodial parent to the custodial to assist in child-rearing expenses.
Employment opportunities for divorced women are often constrained by the necessity of caring for children.

13. Consequences of Divorce
Non-economic
Compared to married persons divorced individuals experience:
Higher levels of depression
Lower levels of mental and physical health
Lower levels of happiness
Increased social isolation
Greater difficulty raising children
Less satisfying sex lives
Higher levels of personal growth
Greater autonomy

14. Children and Divorce
Slightly more than half of all divorces involve children.
Binuclear Family
The family parents create when they divorce making their children part of two households
Children’s reaction to news of a divorce depends on how that news is disclosed.
Three Stages of Divorce for Children
Initial Stage
Extremely stressful
Transition Stage
Restructuring the family
Restablization Stage
Economic and social changes have been incorporated into everyday life

15. Children and Divorce
Following a divorce, children face several developmental tasks:
Acknowledging parent’s separation
Disengaging from parental conflicts
Resolving loss
Resolving anger and self-blame
Accepting the finality of divorce
Achieving realistic expectations for later relationship success

16. Children and Divorce Long-term effects of divorce on children
Reduction of family income
Many children experience weakened ties with their fathers
Reduced school performance
Increased chances of dropping-out
Worsened and increased behavioral problems
Increased likelihood of becoming a teen parent
Not all children of divorced parents experience these consequences.

17. Child Custody Sole Custody Split Custody Joint Custody
Custody of children is awarded to mothers in 90% of cases.
Types of custody
Sole Custody
The child lives with one parent who has sole responsibility for making all decisions regarding his or her upbringing
Split Custody
The children in the family are divided between the divorcing parents
Joint Custody
Joint Legal Custody – child lives with one parent but both parents share decision-making
Joint Physical Custody – child actually lives with both parents, splitting time between households

18. Child Custody
Noncustodial parent involvement exists on a continuum in terms of caregiving, decision making, and parent–child interaction, from highly involved to completely removed.
Mandatory Visitation
Rather than award or grant visitation rights to noncustodial parents, we should treat visitation as an obligation of parents and an expectation to be enforced by authorities
Divorce Mediation
The process in which a mediator attempts to assist divorcing couples in resolving personal, legal, and parenting issues in a cooperative manner
Has the goal of promoting shared parenting rather than focusing solely on legal matters

19. What to Do about Divorce
Some have argued that instituting no-fault divorce laws have made divorce too easy to obtain and advocate for stricter laws.
Others have argued that we should re-stigmatize divorce to lessen its social acceptability.
Still others have suggested that we offer more support to two-earner households and to low-income families to ease stresses.
Yet, if we can’t reduce or eliminate divorce we should at least do what we can to protect those going through divorce, especially children.