1. RELATIONSHIP DETOXIFICATION
RELATIONAL SKILLS WORKSHOP
John-Robert Curtin, Ph.D.
4Civility Institute

2. 3 Critical Components for Dealing with Toxic Situations
Information/Understanding
Safe Reporting
Comprehensive Resolution

3. “Conflict is not the problem, conflict is the messenger”
Tony Belak, JD, 1998

4. ENABLING ORGANIZATIONAL STRUCTURES
Allegations are discounted or ignored
Tough management
Personality conflicts
Avoidance
Lack of managerial skills
Accepted
Organizational culture

5. ENABLING ORGANIZATIONAL STRUCTURES
No Safe Reporting Systems or Plans
No Neutral or Not Perceived as Neutral
No Plans or Procedures for Comprehensive Resolution

6. Three Components of Conflict
Offender
Target
Audience---Bystanders/ Support Groups
In many workplace conflicts the roles play out in a classic Drama Triangle

7. Drama Triangle
Target
Heroes/Heroines
Offender

9. Breaking the Cycle of the Drama Triangle

12. Working with others: Listen
Introduction to the NVRI
Working with others: Listen
Listen with your eyes not just your ears
Listen with your heart
Listen with your mind—to understand not just to respond
Respond with your compassion, your attention, your body language, and your open questions

13. “Its’ amazing what you hear when you listen.”
Yogi Berra

15. Dignity

16. Communication is not merely talking and waiting to talk.

18. You can climb the ladder to becoming a better listener by using these six easy steps:
L: Look at the person speaking to you
A: Ask questions
D: Don’ interrupt
D: Don't change the subject
E: Empathize
R: Respond verbally & non-verbally

19. Comprehensive Resolutions

20. Restorative Practice and Behavioral Transition versus Progressive Disipline

21. Three Pillars of Restorative Practice in the Workplace
Restorative practice focuses on harm
Wrongs or harms result in obligations
Restorative practice promotes engagement or participation

22. Behavioral Transition
Restorative Practice
Morphed into
Behavioral Transition

23. Behavioral Transition
Three Main Groups:
Offender (s)
Target (s)
Audience---Bystanders/ Support Group

24. Behavioral Transition
Focus is on helping, assisting, guiding all three groups to a new level, a new place with a new or renewed sense of meaningful purpose.

25. Offender
Recognizing or understanding the harm caused and who was harmed
Getting to the ‘Why’ from the ‘what’
Creating and accepting a ‘Transformative Prescription’
Support systems
Goals and objectives
Measures- outcomes-obligations-consequences
Reality Therapy

26. Target Only you can make yourself a victim
Getting to the ‘What from the Why’
Transformative Prescription
Support systems
New goals, objectives, measures, outcomes, obligations and consequences
Reality Therapy

27. Bystanders, Communities, Friends, Family
Understanding the nature of conflict
Support versus Insistency
Encouragement versus Blame
Dialogue versus Demagoguery
Long term versus short term
Understanding Reality Therapy

28. Dignity Compassion Communication
A Better Triangle

29. Compassion is contagious
Spread it today

30. Thank You