1. An alternative way of perceiving the self and others.
Understanding the self to initiate behavior change and increase effective communications
An alternative way of perceiving the self and others.
Dr Celia Banting

2. Sign Posts Who am I? Where do I come from? Why am I here?
What makes us who we are?
The Five parts of the Self
Using the Five parts of the Self
Keeping the Self safe
Dr Celia Banting

3. What makes us who we are? Our genes Learning from others
Dr Celia Banting

4. Psychological Messages and Decisions
Children soak up non-verbal information, “Psychological Messages,” like a sponge, and they make subconscious “Decisions” about themselves and others… Good and Bad!!!!
However, there’s one problem with this process and that is that children have immature brains and believe their assumptions about these psychological messages are the truth. It’s called Magical Thinking (Occurs during 2 – 7 years old)
Dr Celia Banting

5. Transactional Analysis “Life Positions”
I’m OK
You’re OK
You’re not OK
I’m not OK
Dr Celia Banting

6. Dr. Eric Berne’s 3 Ego State TheoryP
Parent Ego State; Behaviors, thoughts and feelings copied from parents or Parent figures A
Adult Ego State; Behaviors, thoughts and feelings which are direct responses to the here and now C
Child Ego State; Behaviors, thoughts and feeling replayed from childhood
Dr Celia Banting

7. Adult Ego State; remains unchanged as unaffected by the past
Ego State Breakdown
Parent and Child ego states are replays of the past and are split into two components. P P
Controlling Parent
Nurturing Parent A
Adult Ego State; remains unchanged as unaffected by the past C C
Adapted Child
Free Child
Dr Celia Banting

8. Contaminations Parent contamination = Prejudice Child contamination =
Delusions
Dr Celia Banting

9. Exclusions P
The Parent ego state is blocked out and therefore they haven’t developed a conscience and don’t care about anybody else
This describes a sociopath
“Its all about me”
Dr Celia Banting

10. This describes a Psychopath
Exclusions
Coupled with a
Child contamination.
This describes a Psychopath
“The voices in my head told me to do it”
Dr Celia Banting

11. Piaget’s stages of cognitive development
Sensory motor Stage
Reflex based, hand eye coordinated learning
0 -2 years
Pre-operational
2 -7 years
Self Orientated, Egocentric
Child still effected by own perceptions
Logical reasoning can be applied to objects that are seen
Concrete Operations
7 – 12 years
Think abstractly, reason theoretically.
Not all people reach this stage
Formal Operations
12 years up
Dr Celia Banting

12. The Five Parts of The Self
Beginning at the bottom in developmental order – birth to seven years old.
Dr Celia Banting

13. Pictures of Spontaneous Me
Spontaneous Me in a positive way - you are being true to yourself and others; you’re being real. You are doing things that make you feel happy, excited and satisfying but things that won’t hurt you or anyone else.
Dr Celia Banting

14. Spontaneous Me- Behaviors, tone of voice and words
Behaviors Tone Words
Happiness Cheerful Wow
Sadness Sincere So sorry
Fear Authentic I feel
Anger Loud I’m furious
Playing High pitched Awesome
Dancing Giggling Woohoo
All creativity Expressive Amazing
Sport (+ and -) Cheering Go team!!
Singing Heartfelt Verse
True intimacy Gentle Darling
Drugs/alcohol Slurring Slang
Dr Celia Banting

15. Pictures of Modified Me
Our negative ‘Modified Me’ allows us to get what we want without caring about other people. We manipulate others and play ‘mind games’ to get what we want. It is damaging to other people, and although we may initially get what we want by using this part of ourselves, it will hurt us in the end. We won’t be liked and others will see us as being ‘unsafe,’ or hard work to be around.”
Dr Celia Banting

16. Modified Me – Behaviors tone of voice and words
Behaviors Tone Words
Manners Polite Please/thanks
Conformity Even Yes Sir
Acting dumb Harsh Do what now?
Using sexuality Seductive Well hello babe
Arguing/stubborn Belligerent Make me
Sulking Huffing/sighing Silent treatment
Being dramatic Loud / OTT I’m gonna die
Kicking off Aggressive All cuss words
Acting out Confrontational Gonna kill myself
Rolling head/eyes Sarcastic Whatever
Manipulative Whining But why?
Histrionic Wailing You don’t love me
Dr Celia Banting

17. Drivers – Conditional worth
Some children believe that they are only OK if they adhere strictly to their parents’ wishes. Be Perfect Driver Please Others Driver Try Hard Driver Be Strong Driver
Dr Celia Banting

18. Injunctions – Psychological Messages assimilated during childhood
Don’t Exist Don’t Be You
Don’t Be a Child Don’t Grow Up
Don’t Succeed Don’t Do Anything
Don’t Be Important Don’t Belong
Don’t Be Close Don’t Be Well/Sane
Don’t Think Don’t Feel
Depending upon the family dynamics during early childhood (2-7 yrs)
in order to stay safe and get their needs met, children may subconsciously adopt some of these beliefs, which impact on the way they perceive the world and the decisions they make in later life.
Dr Celia Banting

19. Pictures of Thinking Me
The Thinking Me is like a computer inside your head. It allows you to make decisions based on facts, to be assertive and ask for what you want. It is based on the here and now reality.
Dr Celia Banting

20. Thinking Me – Behaviors, tone of voice and words
Behaviors Tone Words
Teaching Slightly raised Please listen
Sitting up straight Even What
Chin up Clear When
Not too rigid Informative Why
Eye contact Expressive Where
Nodding Precise How
Purposeful Exact Specifically
Reading Not giggling Precisely
Concentrating Not yawning Exactly
Thinking Serious Basically
Listening Honest Essentially
Absorbing information Not shouting Actually
Dr Celia Banting

21. Pictures of Nurturing Me
When the Nurturing Me is used in a positive way, it enables others to grow, to learn and become independent, but when it’s used in a negative way, it disables others and make them feel useless.
Dr Celia Banting

22. Nurturing Me – Behaviors, tone of voice and words
Behaviors Tone Words
Safe hug Caring How you doing?
Patting back Crooning There, there
Comforting Gentle It’s okay
Praising Encouraging Good job
Modelling Patient Try it this way
High Five Playful High Five
Nursing Reassuring You’re going to be okay
Helping Cautious Can I help you?
Being kind Soft Are you okay?
Smother mother - Overbearing Let me do that for you
Taking over Dismissive You should do it this way
Disempowering Impatient Just do it this way
Dr Celia Banting

23. Pictures of Controlling Me
The positive Controlling Me is concerned with safety and keeping order, but the negative Controlling Me is damaging. It is critical, impatient, mean and spiteful.
Dr Celia Banting

24. Controlling Me – Behaviors, Tone of voice and Words
Behaviors Tone Words
Controlling Authoritative Stop, now!
Open posture Raised voice Don’t do that
Pointing finger Directive Should/shouldn’t
Raising arm Gain attention Listen up
Herding Urgent Hurry, there’s a fire
Consequences Stern Don’t do it again
Balling fists Threatening If you do that again…
Berating others Critical Name calling
Gossiping Spiteful Anything negative
Being impatient Irritable Cuss, Get moving
Being angry Aggressive I’ll take you down
Belittling others Demeaning Stupid idiot
Dr Celia Banting

25. A Bar Chart of an emotionally healthy individual
Amounts of positive energy in each of the Five Parts of the Self of a stable and emotionally healthy person
CM NM TM MM SM
Dr Celia Banting

26. T.A. rules of communications
A Transaction is a verbal interaction When Transactions are “Parallel” the dialogue can go on indefinitely. When a Transaction is “crossed” communication stops and something different will happen. It can be good or bad.
Dr Celia Banting

27. Examples of Parallel Transactions
A DISCUSSION
“What do you think about global warming?”
“I’m not sure. I don’t know enough about it.”
“The weather certainly seems extreme lately.”
“Let’s Google it and find out more about it.”
“Good idea. There seem to be a lot of natural disasters lately…”
And on and on until they stop.
AN ARGUMENT or GAME PLAYING
“It’s your turn to put the trash out today.”
“No it’s not. You’re always getting out of it.”
“No I’m not. Mom said you had to do it.”
“Well, I’m not going to. You can do it.”
“That’s not fair.” (Whining)
“Who cares!”
And on and on until they stop.
Dr Celia Banting

28. Examples of Parallel Transactions
CONFRONTATION and PERSECUTION
“John, be quiet or I’ll take your points!”
“It wasn’t me talking.”
“Don’t lie, I heard you.”
“It wasn’t me.” (whining)
“Right, that’s it, you’ve lost your points for lying.”
“Well. F**k you!”
And on and on until they stop.
CARING and KINDNESS
“How was your day today?”
“Terrible, the car broke down and I had to walk.”
“Oh dear, did you have to walk far.”
“Miles, and I ended up with blisters.”
“Let me run a nice bubble bath for you.”
“Thanks, honey.”
And on and on until they stop.
Dr Celia Banting

29. Examples of Crossed Transactions
Each Transaction is an invitation to respond from the part directed to, but if the person choses to respond from a different part, things change.
CM invites MM to respond
“Didn’t I just tell you to clean up your room?”
“F**k off and leave me alone.”
Responds from an alternative Part of the Self
TM invites TM to respond
“I’m just coming. I need the bathroom first though.”
(Avoiding confrontation)
TM invites TM to respond
“How was your day? Did you get all your points?”
“It was fine. I think I only lost a couple of points.”
Responds from an alternative Part of the Self
MM invites CM to respond
“What’s it to you? You’re only here for a pay check.” (Inviting staff into confrontation)
Dr Celia Banting

30. Examples of Crossed Transactions
Each Transaction is an invitation to respond from the part directed to, but if the person choses to respond from a different part, things change.
SM invites NM to respond
“My shoulders ache. I need a massage, babe.”
“Okay, honey, let me get your favorite oil.”
Responds from an alternative Part of the Self
TM invites TM to respond
“I’m sorry, I can’t right now, I’m cooking dinner.”
(In the here and now, explaining why she can’t. She invites him to understand, so avoiding conflict)
CM invites MM to respond (Confrontation)
“Didn’t I insist that you had that file ready for me?”
“I’ve been trying my best.” (Whining)
Responds from an alternative Part of the Self
CM invites MM to respond. This is a Power Play!!!
“Didn’t I tell you that we needed more time?”
(Eventually they will argue…MM to MM – Parallel T.
Dr Celia Banting

31. Keeping the Self safe Be your own supervisor
Stay with one foot in your Thinking Me always
When someone crosses your Transaction, physically take a step backwards which will give you a moment to remind yourself to operate from your Thinking Me.
Encourage the “prisoners” to understand the Five Parts of the Self and when they act out, ask them what part of the Self they are using. You then invite them to shift into their Thinking Me.
Dr Celia Banting

32. Identifying those at high risk of attempting suicide (my PhD research)
Risk Factors Times more likely to attempt suicide
History of family suicide
Expresses, “Wish never born” 1.9
‘Don’t Exist Injunction’
‘Don’t Belong Injunction’ 2.9
‘Don’t Think Injunction’ 3.2
Not close to grandparents
Dr Celia Banting

33. Statistically significant issues for those incarcerated
Parents not together 0-6 yrs Has a Don’t Feel Injunction
Don’t know fathers Has a Don’t Succeed Injunction
Not close to mother Has a Be Perfect Injunction
Has family history of jail Not close to father
Has a stepfather Negative attitude
Religion not important External Locus of Control
Impulsive Lacks trust
Does not see a + future Others are Not OK
So how to help?
Dr Celia Banting

34. What helped me can help anyone
Share the tools to enable anyone, young and old, to learn how to help themselves, to be the best they can be and let them throw away the mask they have had to hide behind.
Teach the Five Parts of the Self
and watch them
SUCCEED
Dr Celia Banting

35. Case Studies
Frankie:
He is the son of a military man, mother constantly ill. Frankie is very anxious, serious, and seems a lot older than fifteen. He is very depressed and wants to die. In groups he gives lots of feedback to his peers but doesn’t hear their replies.
Identify possible Drivers and Injunctions (to help you understand his perception of his world and his Life Position)
Identify which Parts of the Self he’s using during the day (to identify any Exclusions or Contaminations)
Observe when he crosses Transactions and ask yourself why (what’s he avoiding?)
How to help him
Initial task is always to help client access his Thinking Me, to help him learn, question his thinking and behaviors, and to make changes.
Dr Celia Banting

36. How to help her? (The Golden Purse at www.wighitapress.com sample Two)
Case Studies
Cassie:
She is the eldest of seven children and doesn’t know her father. She is failing at school, running away from home, and having unprotected sex with older men. She is rude and disrespectful and frequently gets into fights.
Identify possible Drivers and Injunctions (to help you understand her perception of her world and her Life Position)
Identify which Parts of the Self she’s using during the day (to identify any Exclusions or Contaminations)
Observe when she crosses Transactions and ask yourself why (what’s she avoiding?)
How to help her? (The Golden Purse at sample Two)
Initial task is always to help clients access their Thinking Me to help them learn, question their thinking and behaviors, and to make changes.
Dr Celia Banting

37. Case Studies
Will:
Will’s father and older brother are in prison and he is involved in gang activities. He was excluded from mainstream school and is in Alternative Learning, but constantly fights with peers from opposing gangs. He sells and uses drugs, and hates authority.
Identify possible Drivers and Injunctions (to help you understand his perception of his world and his Life Position)
Identify which Parts of the Self he’s using during the day (to identify any Exclusions or Contaminations)
Observe when he crosses Transactions and ask yourself why (what’s he avoiding?)
How to help him
Initial task is always to help client access his Thinking Me to help him learn, question his thinking and behaviors, and to make changes.
Dr Celia Banting