1. Friendship, Peer Pressure and
Bullying

2. Peer Relations over the Years
William Damon (1977; 1983) proposed that children’s friendships develop in stages. These stages become more sophisticated as children grow up:
Level 1: Friendship as a ‘handy playmate’ (4–7 years)
Level 2: Friendship as mutual trust and assistance (8–10 years)
Level 3: Friendship as intimacy and loyalty (11–15 years +)

3. Development of Peer Relationships
5-6 year olds: Children focus on their own needs and wants. Friendship is here and now. Friendship means a playmate. 
7, 8 and 9 year olds- These children realize that friendship is a relationship and it has to do with liking the personality of another
10-11 year olds- Friends become “soul- mates”, and confidants. They rely on each other and expect loyalty. These children form strong ties and gravitate more toward friends than family.

4. Helping Your Child Develop Friendships
Provide opportunities for social interaction
Model friendship
Set clear rules for appropriate behavior
Teach and encourage problem solving techniques
Help your child develop empathy
Encourage our child to provide support and appreciation for others

5. Supporting a Shy or Reticent Child
Relax
Model
Observe
Practice (role play)
“What if” and “As if”
Find activities your child enjoys
Arranged structured get togethers
Seek help
Avoid labeling to your child or about your child

6. Peer Pressure Important experience for children
Can be positive or negative
Prohibitions backfire
Experimentation is common
You are important
Listen
Set clear expectations
Point out CHOICE
Encourage positive peers
Express faith in your child
Be involved with your child

7. Teasing and Bullying There is a difference
It is expected that all children experience teasing
Children can handle teasing on their own when they know what to do
Teasing can turn into bullying but doesn’t usually
Children need help with handling bullying.

8. Bullying vs. Teasing vs. Negative Behavior
Intent
Frequency
Result

9. Kelso’s Choices
It's Your Choice

10. Simon’s Hook
Grandma Rose's Neighborhood

46. What is a Bully?

47. Bully: a person who repeatedly and intentionally strives to make others feel valueless and insecure.
bullies want power over others
bullies want control over their victim
bullies feel little or no empathy
bullies will use and abuse other people to get what they want
bullies need an audience, they want attention
bullies might be bullied themselves and not realize what they are doing is wrong
bullies know that bullying works
many bullies are jealous of others
many bullies are angry
many bullies have family problems
many bullies lack social skills
bullying is a learned behavior

48. Who is a victim?

49. Victim: a person who is being bullied by being exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more persons
victims are insecure
victims are anxious
victims are cautious
victims suffer from low self-esteem
victims rarely defend themselves
victims may lack social skills
victims are often socially isolated
victims are often different in some way
victims tend to be physically weaker than their peers
victims may have parents who can be described as overprotective
victims don’t pick up on social cues
ANYONE can become a victim!!!

50. How can this go on? Observers often do little to help the victim
Victims and observers are afraid to tell
Telling is brushed off as tattling
Adults believe it is part of growing up
“Kids will be kids”

51. Bullying facts and statistics:
25% of people report being bullied
Most bullying is verbal
Begins in elementary school
Peaks in middle school
Continues in high school
Occurs where there is little supervision
7% of America’s eighth graders stay at home at least 1 day a month because of bullying

52. So what are we doing? creating a zero-tolerance policy for bullying
providing training for teachers, staff , students and parents in how to differentiate between teasing and bullying
Providing guidance lessons, small groups, and individual assistance to students, in the areas of conflict resolution, anger management, friendship skills, assertiveness skills and self-esteem
Educating students on how to handle teasing and get help for bullying

53. What can parents do? Be aware of signs and symptoms of bullying
teach children about peer pressure
help children practice safe strategies and assertive statements
get other parents together
keep a record of all incidents
teach children how to manage their anger
teach about empathy (walking in someone’s shoes)
make sure children understand and can express emotions appropriately

54. What can we teach our children to do about bullies?
avoid bullies
act confident
look confident
be observant
tell a friend
tell an adult
be assertive
stay calm
keep a safe distance
walk away
say “stop it!”
say “leave me alone”
say “whatever”
use humor
use “I” messages
travel in a group
join a group
If you are in danger, RUN!

55. What can we teach our children about controlling their anger?
Learn to recognize the signs that you are about to “pop”
Stop and Think!
Walk away
take 5 deep breaths
count to 10 slowly
relax and imagine you are in a peaceful place
Use extra energy by exercise or activity
punch a pillow
scream into a pillow
pound play dough
rip newspapers
talk to yourself to calm down
talk out the problem

56. We CAN stop bullying...
if we ALL work together!!