1. South Aiken High Bullying
Download Keenan West’s

2. Why Are We Talking About “Bullying”?
We have a problem here according to…
Teachers and administrators
Parents
And even students
We believe that this is a problem that we as a school must help solve.

3. What Is Bullying? Aiken County Definition
“Harming a student physically or emotionally or damaging a student’s property, or placing a student in reasonable fear of personal harm or property damage.”
“Insulting or demeaning a student or group of students in such a manner as to cause substantial disruption in, or substantial interference with, the orderly operation of the school.”

4. What is Bullying?
Even though definitions of bullying vary, most agree that bullying involves
Imbalance of POWER: people who bully use their power to control or harm and the people being bullied may have a hard time defending themselves
Intent to cause HARM: actions done by accident are not bullying; in bullying, the aggressor has a goal to cause harm
REPETITION: incidents of bullying happen to the same person over and over by the same person or group
Stopbullying.gove

5. Who is Involved in Bullying?
There are 4 parties in every bully situation:
Aggressor
That’s the one doing the “bullying”
Target
That’s the one that is being “bullied”
Bystanders
These are all the people in the community who know something is going on
Authority
These are the ones who can make it stop – at least while they are around – by enacting policy, rule or law.
Our presentation today is mostly about US – the bystanders – because we, together, have a lot of positive power that we can choose to use.
We don’t use the term “victim” because that indicates that the person is completely powerless, and that’s not true. The person being bullied has many choices about what to do.

6. Consequences and Outcomes (Or, Why Should I Care?)
Aiken County has a “Zero Tolerance” policy, which means that if someone is found to have harassed, intimidated, or bullied in an Aiken County school, he or she “will be subject to disciplinary action, up to and including expulsion…. Individuals may also be referred to law enforcement officials.”
Worst case scenario? Out of school and in jail.

7. Consequences and Outcomes (Or, Why Should I Care?)
If others get bullied here, then who will stop it when someone turns on you and YOU become the target?
Don’t think it couldn’t happen….

8. Consequences and Outcomes (Or, Why Should I Care?)
People who bully through their high school years are setting up a pattern of behavior that will make it difficult for them to succeed at school, at work, in friendships, and in love …
BUT
Those who choose to stand up for the dignity and respect of others more easily become successful and contributing adults.
SO – By taking a stand, you help yourself
and others!
Emotional health

9. Consequences and Outcomes (Or, Why Should I Care?)
We are creating this school right now. “School” isn’t the building, it’s the people, and we can make this a place we are proud of.
Principles of human dignity, mutual respect, and the intrinsic value of all in our community are the basis for the best kinds of communities.
And bullying has no place in a place like this….
Emotional health

10. Let’s look at Conflict versus Bullying.
How Do I Know If Someone Is Being Bullied or Is Really Just Having a Problem?
Good question!
Let’s look at Conflict versus Bullying.

11. Conflict is driven by an ISSUE, a problem, or a complicated situation.
Conflict or Bullying ?
Bullying is driven by one person’s desire to have POWER over another.
Conflict is driven by an ISSUE, a problem, or a complicated situation.

12. Conflict or Bullying?
A girl walks into class wearing a new dress. Three girls (who don’t even know her name) start whispering, pointing, and giggling.
Is this an
issue-driven conflict or
a power-driven bully situation?

13. BULLYING Conflict or Bullying?
A girl walks into class wearing a new dress. Three kids in class, who don’t even know her name, start whispering, pointing, and laughing.
BULLYING

14. Conflict or Bullying?
A guy, we’ll call him Guy 1, pushes another guy (Guy 2) in the hallway because Guy 1 heard that Guy 2 texted his girlfriend over the weekend.
Is this an
issue-driven conflict or
a power-driven bully situation?

15. CONFLICT Conflict or Bullying? (and probably between Guy 1 and his
girlfriend, actually…)

16. Conflict or Bullying?
There is a new kid at lunch. He sits alone. Several kids start throwing Cheetos at him.
Is this an
issue-driven conflict or
a power-driven bully situation?

17. Conflict or Bullying?
BULLYING

18. Conflict or Bullying?
A girl decides she “doesn’t like” one of the kids that rides her bus every day even though they don’t even know each other. She convinces her friends to spread out across the aisles so the other kid can’t get to a seat.
Is this an
issue-driven conflict or
a power-driven bully situation?

19. Conflict or Bullying?
BULLYING

20. Conflict or Bullying?
A group of girls have been friends since middle school, but now nobody calls Girl 3 any more to go and do stuff. She is pretty sure that the other girls are spreading rumors about her in her neighborhood.
Is this an
issue-driven conflict or
a power-driven bully situation?

21. Could be BULLYING, but let’s get some more information…
Conflict or Bullying?
Could be BULLYING, but let’s get some more information…

22. Conflict or Bullying?
A group of girls have been friends since middle school, but now nobody calls Girl 3 any more to go and do stuff. She is pretty sure that the other girls are spreading rumors about her in her neighborhood.
… Girl 3 just remembered that she told Girl 2 that she wouldn’t let her cheat off of her vocabulary quizzes any more…. So…??

23. Conflict or Bullying?
CONFLICT

24. Conflict or Bullying? So, how can you tell? And why does it matter?
Conflict is about an ISSUE or PROBLEM.
Bullying is about misuse of POWER.
And why does it matter?
Conflict can be settled.
Bullying must be stopped.

25. Conflict is ISSUE-DRIVEN
Many people have trouble when relationships change, like when someone quits letting others cheat off them, and some may even want to seek revenge when others hurt them.
AND
Many people don’t really know how to work through conflict without lashing out or shutting down.

26. Bullying is Power-Driven
So --
If you have ever been a Target (and most of us have been at one time or another), don’t give the Aggressor the satisfaction of a reaction. Instead, calmly and confidently walk away. Remember that you are not alone, and that no one deserves to be targeted. And tell someone who can help if the bullying continues.

27. Bullying is Power-Driven
And --
If you have ever been an Aggressor, make a commitment to change. Figure out why your desire for power has become more important to you than mutual respect. Remember that with some work, you can start using your power for good and develop into a leader with a future. Find some other people to join you as you pursue a new path.

28. We’re Just Bystanders…Right?
The Third Side
Remember, anyone in a community who is aware of a bully situation is The Third Side, or a BYSTANDER.
But What Can We Do?
We’re Just Bystanders…Right?
As BYSTANDERS, we can’t just stand around and watch….the stakes are too high for the Aggressor, the Target, and for us as a school.
So what do you do when you witness bullying without making yourself a Target, too?

29. What are you willing and able to do?
Stand Up!
There are four ways to Stand Up!
Stand Up Near
Stand Up With
Stand Up For
Stand Up To
What are you willing and able to do?
There’s something for everyone!

30. Stand up NEAR the Target
If you see someone that has been targeted, be kind to him or her and offer words of encouragement.
Ask her or him what kind of help they would like to have.
Let him or her know they are not alone.

31. STAND UP! Stand up FOR the Target
THIS IS IMPORTANT! Find an authority figure who can intervene. Take a friend with you.
And by the way, it’s not snitching when you might be saving someone’s life.
Plus, it’s not just the Target who needs help from an adult -- the Aggressor does, too.
Talk to a teacher, guidance counselor, or aide about your experience as a bystander.

32. Stand up WITH the Target
Get a friend or two and go talk to the Target.
With your group, take the Target away from the situation with you. Be willing to go with the Target to find an Authority who can intervene.
You don’t have to be friends for life, but you can provide a safe place at the moment.

33. STAND UP! Stand up TO your friends if they are the Aggressors
Don’t just stand there!
Refuse to participate. Many Aggressors stop when their power is reduced by lack of participation… Remember, it’s all about abuse of power.
Don’t laugh.
Tell them to stop if you feel comfortable doing this.

34. If you aren’t part of the solution, YOU are part of the PROBLEM.
Be a part of the solution
STAND UP
Near
With
For To
What are you willing and able to do?