1. When Women Say No Nonverbally, Men May Not Be Listening
Arthur Frankel, Megan Anderson, Bryanne Auguste, & Emily Burgess
Salve Regina University
Newport, Rhode Island
Introduction
Abstract
Discussion
Do men recognize the nonverbal cues women might use to indicate they are or aren’t interested in having sex? Would other women recognize such cues better than men? Additionally, if a woman were to use such a cue to indicate she was not interested in having sex, would male and female observers think similarly or differently about how responsible she was if sex occurred, and the woman expressed regret afterwards? Given the current emphasis in college orientation programs devoted to educating students about the importance of acquiring affirmative consent before initiating sex, answers to these questions are indeed important.
Despite much recent attention to the issue, sexual assault is still prevalent on campuses across America (Wallace, 2015). Male education and prevention programs often focus on teaching men the importance of getting verbal consent just prior to initiating sexual activity, and seeking affirmative consent before engaging in more and more intimate forms of sexual contact. Given the emphasis in sexual assault education on dispensing affirmative consent verbally and/or directly, we wonder if college women are badly informed about how attempts to communicate “yes” and “no” more subtly through nonverbal means may not work as well as they anticipate. This study was principally aimed toward discovering whether a specific cue, related to a display of modesty, would be viewed similarly or differently by male and female college students. Findings from this study could be used to develop more comprehensive and effective strategies for the prevention of sexual assault.
Previous research quite clearly demonstrates that men and women appear to be on different wavelengths when it comes to the perception of sexual interest. Men, it seems, tend to overestimate how much women are interested in them sexually. For example, compared to female participants, male participants are usually more likely to interpret the behavior of women as flirtatious and seductive. Additional evidence indicates that men rely heavily on nonverbal cues. A man is likely to think, for example, “if she was kissing me back and seemed into it, I would figure she wanted to ….” (Jozkowski, Peterson, Sanders, Dennis, and Reece, 2014, p. 910). These authors also found that men reported relying more on nonverbal indicators of consent than did women. But this finding raises an important question: Exactly how good are men at reading these nonverbal indicators of consent?
To examine whether male and/or female perceptions of the sexual encounter were differentially affected by the presence or absence of a sweatshirt, a two-way ANOVA was conducted for each dependent measure. Our first hypothesis was that men would see the woman’s behavior as an indication of her wanting him to stay the night and we suspected that this would be particularly true in the “no sweatshirt” condition. A borderline effect for gender (p = ) was found, suggesting that male participants were more likely than female participants to perceive the woman as interested in having the man spend the night. On the other hand, the woman’s request for a sweatshirt did not moderate this effect as the interaction between gender and the presence/absence of the “cue” was not significant (p = , ns); however, t-tests revealed that while male participants were not paying attention to the message conveyed by the request for the sweatshirt, female participants were (1.95 v 2.53, p = .035). Apparently, women may be using ineffective nonverbal cues to tell men “No.”
The second hypothesis stated that male participants would perceive the woman as more responsible if a sexual encounter had actually taken place. A borderline effect for gender (p = ) was found, suggesting that male participants were more likely than female participants to believe that the woman was more responsible if sex had occurred and the woman expressed regret afterwards. While there was no main effect for whether or not a sweatshirt was requested prior to the removal of the women’s dress regarding attributions of responsibility (p = , ns.), there was a significant interaction (p = ) because male participants viewed the woman who did not put on the sweatshirt as more responsible than the woman who did (5.08 v 3.71, p = .023), suggesting that men were paying attention to the cue. No differences emerged among female participants in this regard.
In sum, one dependent measure suggests that men were less likely than women to recognize the nonverbal cue intended to indicate that the woman did not want to have sex but were paying attention to it when attributions of responsibility were involved.
Methodology
Each participant (29M, 114 F) was given one of two scenarios and was asked to answer three questions. Each scenario was about a female college student who had injured her ankle and shoulder when she tripped at the bottom of a staircase upon leaving an off-campus party where she and other people were drinking for two hours. After exiting the building she stumbled into her former boyfriend who volunteered to help her get home. They had a glass of wine and awkwardly chatted for a bit. They then went into the bedroom where he helped his former girlfriend take off her dress when she requested assistance because of her shoulder injury. In one scenario, she asks him to grab her nearby sweatshirt that she used to put on over the dress before removing her dress. We assumed that this request could be viewed as an attempt at modesty and as such indicate to the former boyfriend that she was not attempting to encourage him to view the situation as an invitation to have sex. In the other scenario she, with her former boyfriend’s help, completely takes off the dress without putting anything else on previously. After reading one of the two scenarios, participants responded to three questions.
Significant Findings
“If they had sex, and she had some regrets afterwards, how responsible would she be for what happened?”
(1-7)
“Should he assume that
she wants him to stay?”
(1-7)
Participants
Sweatshirt
Yes No
Male
2.88
2.83
Female
1.94
2.53
Participants
Sweatshirt
Yes No
Male
3.71
5.08
Female
3.63
3.57
Borderline Effect for Gender:
M = 2.86 v F = 2.25, p = .064
Female/Sweatshirt v Female/No Sweatshirt:
FSW = 1.94 v FNSW = 2.53, p = .038
Borderline Effect for Gender:
M = 4.28 v F = 3.60, p = .057
Significant Interaction: p = .040
MSW = 3.71 v MNSW = 5.08, p =. 023