1. A Proper Marriage
Matthew 5:31-32

2. Marriage can be difficult!

3. Divorce is a way of life in the United States.

4. Divorce is a way of life in the United States.
Only 63% of American children grow up with both biological parents, the lowest percentage in the Western World.

5. Divorce is a way of life in the United States.
Only 63% of American children grow up with both biological parents, the lowest percentage in the Western World.
10% of the American population is divorced, up from 6% in 1980.

6. Divorce is a way of life in the United States.
Only 63% of American children grow up with both biological parents, the lowest percentage in the Western World.
10% of the American population is divorced, up from 6% in 1980.
Only 33% of married couples reach their 25th anniversary & only 20% reach their 35th anniversary.

7. Divorce is a way of life in the United States.
But: “‘I hate divorce,’ says the LORD God of Israel, ‘and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,’ says the LORD Almighty” (Mal 2:16, NIV).

8. Divorce is a way of life in the United States.
But: “‘I hate divorce,’ says the LORD God of Israel, ‘and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,’ says the LORD Almighty” (Mal 2:16, NIV).
Even if a divorce is biblical, God hates it.

9. Divorce is a way of life in the United States.
But: “‘I hate divorce,’ says the LORD God of Israel, ‘and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,’ says the LORD Almighty” (Mal 2:16, NIV).
Even if a divorce is biblical, God hates it.
God hates what divorce does!

10. Because God hates divorce, Jesus speaks the words in this morning’s text.

11. Because God hates divorce, Jesus speaks the words in this morning’s text.
Matthew 5:31-32

12. Obeying these words is difficult for many.

13. Obeying these words is difficult for many.
But, being faithful to Jesus means hearing all of his words.

14. Obeying these words is difficult for many.
But, being faithful to Jesus means hearing all of his words.
“Whoever relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven” (Mt 5:19, ESV).

15. Obeying these words is difficult for many.
But, being faithful to Jesus means hearing all of his words.
Mt 5:19.
“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock” (Mt 7:24-25, ESV).

16. Last Sunday, we spoke about “adultery in the heart” & this text is an extension of those words.

17. Last Sunday, we spoke about “adultery in the heart” & this text is an extension of those words.
The Greek makes clear that Jesus is addressing the same subject.

18. Last Sunday, we spoke about “adultery in the heart” & this text is an extension of those words.
The Greek makes clear that Jesus is addressing the same subject.
The people of Jesus’ day apparently thought of adultery in purely physical terms.

19. Last Sunday, we spoke about “adultery in the heart” & this text is an extension of those words.
The Greek makes clear that Jesus is addressing the same subject.
The people of Jesus’ day apparently thought of adultery in purely physical terms. But, the Lord “redefines” adultery.

20. Last Sunday, we spoke about “adultery in the heart” & this text is an extension of those words.
The Greek makes clear that Jesus is addressing the same subject.
The people of Jesus’ day apparently thought of adultery in purely physical terms. But, the Lord “redefines” adultery.
“Adultery” is looking at a woman in order to lust after her.

21. Last Sunday, we spoke about “adultery in the heart” & this text is an extension of those words.
The Greek makes clear that Jesus is addressing the same subject.
The people of Jesus’ day apparently thought of adultery in purely physical terms. But, the Lord “redefines” adultery.
“Adultery” is looking at a woman in order to lust after her.
“Adultery” is marrying a woman who has been improperly divorced.

22. AN EASY DIVORCE
A HARD DECREE

23. An Easy Divorce
v 31

24. “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce’” (v 31, ESV).

25. “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce’” (v 31, ESV).
Jesus quotes from Deuteronomy 24.

26. “When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, and if she goes and becomes another man’s wife, and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the LORD. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the LORD your God is giving you for an inheritance” (Deut 24:1-4, ESV).

27. A great debate in Jesus’ day was what Moses meant by “some indecency in” the wife.

28. A great debate in Jesus’ day was what Moses meant by “some indecency in” the wife.
Some took “some indecency” to mean sexual immorality.

29. A great debate in Jesus’ day was what Moses meant by “some indecency in” the wife.
Some took “some indecency” to mean sexual immorality.
Others took “some indecency” to mean anything the husband didn’t like.

30. Many Jews took Deut 24 as a “pretext” for an easy divorce.
A great debate in Jesus’ day was what Moses meant by “some indecency in” the wife.
Some took “some indecency” to mean sexual immorality.
Others took “some indecency” to mean anything the husband didn’t like.
Many Jews took Deut 24 as a “pretext” for an easy divorce.

31. Many Jews took Deut 24 as a “pretext” for an easy divorce.
A great debate in Jesus’ day was what Moses meant by “some indecency in” the wife.
Some took “some indecency” to mean sexual immorality.
Others took “some indecency” to mean anything the husband didn’t like.
Many Jews took Deut 24 as a “pretext” for an easy divorce.
All a husband had to do, after all, was write a letter saying the woman was no longer his wife.

32. Many Jews took Deut 24 as a “pretext” for an easy divorce.
A great debate in Jesus’ day was what Moses meant by “some indecency in” the wife.
Some took “some indecency” to mean sexual immorality.
Others took “some indecency” to mean anything the husband didn’t like.
Many Jews took Deut 24 as a “pretext” for an easy divorce.
All a husband had to do, after all, was write a letter saying the woman was no longer his wife.
Jewish women had a limited right to divorce.

33. God never intended man to practice “easy divorce.”

34. God never intended man to practice “easy divorce.”
“Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so” (Mt 19:8, ESV).

35. God never intended man to practice “easy divorce.”
“Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so” (Mt 19:8, ESV).
Only because of hard hearts did God allow divorce.

36. God never intended man to practice “easy divorce.”
“Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so” (Mt 19:8, ESV).
Only because of hard hearts did God allow divorce.
Divorce was permissible—as in our own day—but it was never God’s design.

37. God never intended man to practice “easy divorce.”
“Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so” (Mt 19:8, ESV).
An honest reading of Deut 24 makes clear that God was only regulating divorce.

38. God never intended man to practice “easy divorce.”
“Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so” (Mt 19:8, ESV).
An honest reading of Deut 24 makes clear that God was only regulating divorce.
The text basically says, “If you’re going to divorce, here’s how to do it.”

39. God never intended man to practice “easy divorce.”
“Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so” (Mt 19:8, ESV).
An honest reading of Deut 24 makes clear that God was only regulating divorce.
The text basically says, “If you’re going to divorce, here’s how to do it.”
God says that a woman who enters into a second marriage is “defiled” & her return to her first husband is an “abomination.”

40. The purpose was the protection of woman.

41. But, that was all lost on so many in Jesus’ day.

42. But, that was all lost on so many in Jesus’ day.
Under Roman law, divorce was quite easy, and among the upper classes it was quite common.

43. But, that was all lost on so many in Jesus’ day.
Under Roman law, divorce was quite easy, and among the upper classes it was quite common.
In our own day, divorce is far too easy.

44. But, that was all lost on so many in Jesus’ day.
Under Roman law, divorce was quite easy, and among the upper classes it was quite common.
In our own day, divorce is far too easy.
Forty-nine states have “no-fault” divorces.

45. But, that was all lost on so many in Jesus’ day.
Under Roman law, divorce was quite easy, and among the upper classes it was quite common.
In our own day, divorce is far too easy.
Forty-nine states have “no-fault” divorces.
Married adults now divorce at two-and-a-half times what they did 20 years ago & four times what they did 50 years ago!

46. But, that was all lost on so many in Jesus’ day.
Under Roman law, divorce was quite easy, and among the upper classes it was quite common.
In our own day, divorce is far too easy.
Forty-nine states have “no-fault” divorces.
Married adults now divorce at two-and-a-half times what they did 20 years ago & four times what they did 50 years ago!
40 to 60% of all new marriages end in divorce!

47. Let us commit to the sanctity of marriage!

48. A Hard Decree
v 32

49. “But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (v 32, ESV).

50. “But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (v 32, ESV).
For many, these are hard words!

51. For many, these are hard words!
“But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (v 32, ESV).
For many, these are hard words!
Many pages have been written to make them more palatable to modern ears.

52. For many, these are hard words!
“But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (v 32, ESV).
For many, these are hard words!
Many pages have been written to make them more palatable to modern ears.
The disciples: “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry” (Mt 19:10, ESV).

53. What did Jesus mean by all this?

54. He says: “Everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery.”

55. He says: “Everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery.”
Jesus holds a very high view of marriage.

56. He says: “Everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery.”
Jesus holds a very high view of marriage.
His first miracle was performed at a wedding (Jn 2).

57. He says: “Everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery.”
Jesus holds a very high view of marriage.
His first miracle was performed at a wedding (Jn 2).
He says: “What God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mt 19:6, ESV).

58. He says: “Everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery.”
Jesus holds a very high view of marriage.
Jesus holds such a high view of marriage that he only provides ONE exception to its permanence: “fornication.”

59. He says: “Everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery.”
Jesus holds a very high view of marriage.
Jesus holds such a high view of marriage that he only provides ONE exception to its permanence: “fornication.”
“Fornication” is a broad word for any kind of improper sexual relationship.

60. He says: “Everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery.”
Jesus holds a very high view of marriage.
Jesus holds such a high view of marriage that he only provides ONE exception to its permanence: “fornication.”
“Fornication” is a broad word for any kind of improper sexual relationship.
Greek term is porneia, from which we get the English “pornography.”

61. That “fornication” refers to any kind of improper sexual relationship is evidence from 1 Cor 5:1.

62. That “fornication” refers to any kind of improper sexual relationship is evidence from 1 Cor 5:1.
“It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father’s wife” (ESV).

63. That “fornication” refers to any kind of improper sexual relationship is evidence from 1 Cor 5:1.
“It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father’s wife” (ESV).
Paul mentions the specific kind of fornication in Corinth; therefore, there are different kinds of fornication.

64. That “fornication” refers to any kind of improper sexual relationship is evidence from 1 Cor 5:1.
“It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father’s wife” (ESV).
Paul mentions the specific kind of fornication in Corinth; therefore, there are different kinds of fornication.
Jesus doesn’t require that the sexual immorality be of one kind or another.

65. Unless one divorces his wife for fornication, he makes her commit adultery.

66. How can a husband “make” his wife commit adultery.

67. Unless one divorces his wife for fornication, he makes her commit adultery.
I believe Jesus is speaking directly to the culture of his day.

68. I believe Jesus is speaking directly to the culture of his day.
Unless one divorces his wife for fornication, he makes her commit adultery.
I believe Jesus is speaking directly to the culture of his day.
Examples of wealthy women in that era are few & far between.

69. I believe Jesus is speaking directly to the culture of his day.
Unless one divorces his wife for fornication, he makes her commit adultery.
I believe Jesus is speaking directly to the culture of his day.
Examples of wealthy women in that era are few & far between.
Most women couldn’t support themselves & were dependent upon husbands for food, shelter, etc.

70. I believe Jesus is speaking directly to the culture of his day.
Unless one divorces his wife for fornication, he makes her commit adultery.
I believe Jesus is speaking directly to the culture of his day.
Examples of wealthy women in that era are few & far between.
Most women couldn’t support themselves & were dependent upon husbands for food, shelter, etc.
Thus, if a divorced woman were going to eat, she might have no choice but to go out & find another husband.

71. Jesus does not approve of a woman’s entering a second marriage out of necessity.

72. Jesus does not approve of a woman’s entering a second marriage out of necessity.
Jesus is quite strongly saying exactly the opposite: “You married her. You take care of her. Don’t you dare put her in a terrible position.”

73. What are the impact of these words for us?

74. We men must take our marriage vows seriously.

75. We men must take our marriage vows seriously.
If Jesus is indeed protecting women in a male- dominated society, he is telling husbands to take care of their wives.

76. We men must take our marriage vows seriously.
If Jesus is indeed protecting women in a male- dominated society, he is telling husbands to take care of their wives: “Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body” (Eph 5:28-30, ESV).

77. Whoever marries a woman wrongly divorced commits adultery.

78. Whoever marries a woman wrongly divorced commits adultery.
Why is such a marriage “adultery”?

79. Whoever marries a woman wrongly divorced commits adultery.
Why is such a marriage “adultery”?
Because the first marriage is not over before God!

80. Whoever marries a woman wrongly divorced commits adultery.
Why is such a marriage “adultery”?
Because the first marriage is not over before God!
“What God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mt 19:6, ESV).

81. Whoever marries a woman wrongly divorced commits adultery.
Why is such a marriage “adultery”?
Because the first marriage is not over before God!
“What God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mt 19:6, ESV).
God joins in marriage.

82. Whoever marries a woman wrongly divorced commits adultery.
Why is such a marriage “adultery”?
Because the first marriage is not over before God!
“What God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mt 19:6, ESV).
God joins in marriage. Therefore, God alone can determine when a marriage is over.

83. Whoever marries a woman wrongly divorced commits adultery.
Why is such a marriage “adultery”?
Because the first marriage is not over before God!
“What God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mt 19:6, ESV).
God joins in marriage. Therefore, God alone can determine when a marriage is over.
No state legislature has a right to allow either marriages or divorces God hasn’t allowed.

84. Entering an improper marriage—like looking a woman with lustful intent—is adultery.

85. Entering an improper marriage—like looking a woman with lustful intent—is adultery.
The Greek grammar states this as a simple truth: E.g., “If you do this, then you are really doing this.”

86. Entering an improper marriage—like looking a woman with lustful intent—is adultery.
The Greek grammar states this as a simple truth: E.g., “If you do this, then you are really doing this.”
Jesus seems to mean this: “You are taking another man’s wife; you are taking a woman who has no right to be your wife; it can be nothing but adultery.”

87. There are a multitude of questions raised about this subject.

88. “If I have sinned in regard to marriage, can I find forgiveness?”

89. “If I have sinned in regard to marriage, can I find forgiveness?”
God’s mercy is great!

90. “If I have sinned in regard to marriage, can I find forgiveness?”
God’s mercy is great!
“The grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost” (1 Tm 1:14-15, ESV).

91. “If I have sinned in regard to marriage, can I find forgiveness?”
God’s mercy is great!
“The grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost” (1 Tm 1:14-15, ESV).
To the woman caught in adultery, Jesus says: “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more” (Jn 8:11, ESV).

92. God’s mercy is great regardless of what I’ve done.

93. “What if I’m unbiblically divorced?”

94. “What if I’m unbiblically divorced?”
“To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife” (1 Cor 7:10-11, ESV).

95. “What if I’m unbiblically divorced?”
“To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife” (1 Cor 7:10-11, ESV).
Inspired counsel is to remain single.

96. “What if I didn’t remain single after an unbiblical divorce, but I remarried?”

97. “What if I didn’t remain single after an unbiblical divorce, but I remarried?”
The best answer to give comes from Scripture.

98. Herod Antipas had married his brother Philip’s wife.

99. Herod Antipas had married his brother Philip’s wife.
“It was Herod who had sent and seized John and bound him in prison for the sake of Herodias, his brother Philip's wife, because he had married her. For John had been saying to Herod, ‘It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife’” (Mk 6:17-18, ESV).

100. Herod Antipas had married his brother Philip’s wife.
“It was Herod who had sent and seized John and bound him in prison for the sake of Herodias, his brother Philip's wife, because he had married her. For John had been saying to Herod, ‘It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife’” (Mk 6:17-18, ESV).
John told Herod that it was “not lawful” for him to have Herodias as his wife.

101. What would have been the way for Herod to rectify this unlawful situation?

102. When Ezra & other Jews returned to Jerusalem following the Babylonian Captivity, the people confessed to having married foreign wives.

103. When Ezra & other Jews returned to Jerusalem following the Babylonian Captivity, the people confessed to having married foreign wives.
They declare, “Let us make a covenant with our God to put away all these wives and their children, according to the counsel of my lord and of those who tremble at the commandment of our God, and let it be done according to the Law” (Ezra 10:3, ESV).

104. When Ezra & other Jews returned to Jerusalem following the Babylonian Captivity, the people confessed to having married foreign wives.
They declare, “Let us make a covenant with our God to put away all these wives and their children, according to the counsel of my lord and of those who tremble at the commandment of our God, and let it be done according to the Law” (Ezra 10:3, ESV).
That’s OT, but these Jews understood repentance to include putting away these wives.

105. I’m sure we could come up with some reasons that Jesus didn’t really mean what he here teaches.

106. I’m sure we could come up with some reasons that Jesus didn’t really mean what he here teaches.
But, we must understand just how serious Jesus’ words are.

107. But, we must understand just how serious Jesus’ words are.
I’m sure we could come up with some reasons that Jesus didn’t really mean what he here teaches.
But, we must understand just how serious Jesus’ words are.
“Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away” (Mt 24:35, ESV).

108. But, we must understand just how serious Jesus’ words are.
I’m sure we could come up with some reasons that Jesus didn’t really mean what he here teaches.
But, we must understand just how serious Jesus’ words are.
Mt 24:35.
“The one who rejects me and does not receive my words has a judge; the word that I have spoken will judge him on the last day” (Jn 12:48, ESV).

109. But, we must understand just how serious Jesus’ words are.
I’m sure we could come up with some reasons that Jesus didn’t really mean what he here teaches.
But, we must understand just how serious Jesus’ words are.
Mt 24:35.
Jn 12:48.
“It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life” (Jn 6:63, ESV).

110. Are we ready to be judged by every word of Jesus?

111. Are we ready to be judged by every word of Jesus?
Have we received life because of his words?