1. Annie Kaszina © 2013 All rights reserved Annie Kaszina
Ultimate Emotional Abuse Recovery System – Week 1 How to Break the Chains of Abuse
Annie Kaszina
© 2013 All rights reserved Annie Kaszina

2. “How could he treat me that way?”
“I did everything I could”
“I loved him so much”
“We were married, weren’t we? He was meant to love me”
“I gave him everything I had”
“I worked so hard to make the relationship work”
How could he treat his own children like that?”
“I know I wasn’t perfect, but…”
“I invested EVERYTHING in him/the relationship”

3. The Bottom Line
“I thought… hoped…”

4. “I thought” = Assumption

5. What happens when you trust Mr Nasty?

6. What was really going on?

7. “When did it start?”

8. Your contract I will love, and honor I will go the extra mile
I will put myself second
I will try to heal him
I will make him the judge of my worth
I will take blame
I will take full responsibility for the relationship
I will try harder

9. His contract “In this relationship… I have power and control
I call the shots
I do as I please
I come first
I am more important/valuable than you
I don’t have to listen to you
I am always right

10. His contract continued…
You are worth-less
You are always wrong
Your feelings are unimportant
You should be grateful
You don’t deserve respect, or consideration
You come last
You’re inferior, because you are a woman
You’re stupid, because you are a/my woman
You have to live in the world of my making
You have to experience my view of the world

12. Who do you think you are? What he says What you think What you feel
Stupid
Not stupid
Worthless
A good person
Lousy wife and mother
FAILURE
Won’t give up
Useless
UNSAFE
Always at risk
Unlovable
Loathsome
A loving heart
Washed up
Might as well give up
Hanging on by a thread
A drain on him
He’s the best thing for you
Who am I?

13. “Why did he do it?” Because you weren’t perfect
Because you couldn’t make his world perfect
Because he thought he had a license to behave badly
Because he really thought it was ALL about him
Because he COULD

14. What did he want? (What did he really, really want?)
To frighten you into submission
To make himself feel powerful
To leave his mark on you
To make you as unhappy as possible
To punish you for the rest of your life

15. The Nasty Profile Manipulator Bully Scapegoater Crazy-maker
Fault-finder
Humiliator
Intimidator
Hanging judge
Sexual adversary
Worst ENEMY

16. “So, what did you learn?” You can’t trust people You are never safe
It’s you against the world
You’re crazy
You’re not good enough
You’ve got a LOT to be ashamed about
Be very, VERY afraid
You’re a walking disaster
Sex is a mine-field
It’s a hostile world

17. Mr Nasty was
100% Bull

18. “If I don’t ask you this, you’ll probably ask me”
Beneath that Nasty exterior was there Mr Nice potential struggling to get out?
Do you need to love the man you think he could have been?
Was it because he had a hard time growing up?
Do you need to forgive him?