1. Appreciating conflict: The Disruption Theory of Leadership
Dr. David B. Ross
Nova Southeastern University
Created by Dr. David B. Ross

2. Appreciating Conflict
We deal with conflict because of change within organizations, and differences in philosophies, thoughts and beliefs. Most of the time people are not true believers; people are generally resistant to change as it disrupts the ritual and order of their lives, both personally and professionally. One of the strongest influences we have are the personal ties we have with others. Sharing is a sign of belonging; in our case, belonging to our organization.
Created by Dr. David B. Ross

3. Why Are We Here? (session objectives)
Share thoughts on issues of conflict that disrupt the flow of the organization
Understand trust based on the magnitude of influence over control
Find the underlying structure of a team
Prepare possible solutions: What can we do about conflict and disruption?
Created by Dr. David B. Ross

4. Characteristics of Disruption
Ignore issues occurring in your organization
Poor preparation: No agendas
Personal agendas
Different ideas and direction
Allowing people to fail; organization fails
Officer Transition: Succession planning
Lack of influence; increase in control
Created by Dr. David B. Ross

5. Fear of Conflict handout
When you hear the word “conflict,” what are your immediate thoughts or feelings? 
What are the positive benefits that have resulted in your previous conflicts?
Created by Dr. David B. Ross

6. Fear of Conflict
Teams that trust or distrust (your thoughts) one another are not afraid to engage in passionate dialogue around issues and decisions that are key to the organization’s success
Team members do not hesitate to disagree with, challenge, and question one another in the spirit of finding the best answers, discovering the truth and making great decisions
Created by Dr. David B. Ross

7. Myths about conflict Blame Fear Denial
It is the other people who are at fault
Fear
Conflict is always bad
Confronting it directly will probably make the situation worse
Denial
If I ignore it, it will go away
Created by Dr. David B. Ross

8. Conflict and communication
Although we do not chose conflict, conflict is inevitable
We have choices about how to use it
Conflict does not have to control your life
Learn to transform conflict into an opportunity to enhance both professionally and personal interactions
Created by Dr. David B. Ross

9. mastering conflict: Key #1
Strive for self understanding
Ask – am I contributing to the situation?
In what way?
Mutual understanding
Take time to step back and think about the situation
Look at your own mindset
Suspend judgment
Question your assumptions and convictions
Created by Dr. David B. Ross

10. mastering conflict: Key #2
Check out assumptions and perceptions before making negative judgments or conclusions
Engage in inquiry rather than accusation
Clarify situation
Gather as much information as possible
Created by Dr. David B. Ross

11. Improve communication skills
Put your effort into listening, not arguing
Listen for what you can understand
Be open to new information
Make an effort not to be defensive
Let the other person know you understand
Focus on objectives and hopes you share in common
Created by Dr. David B. Ross

12. Improve communication skills
Be aware of feelings and emotions
Stay in control of emotions
Be aware of your style and how you are perceived by others
Pay attention to external circumstances
Recognize and accept other differences
Improve work relationships
Develop a positive attitude
Created by Dr. David B. Ross

13. Resolve conflict early
Deal with little issues before they develop
Develop a plan of action
Take steps to reduce stress, anger, hostility
Focus on problem solving
Think through options in advance
Seek assistance with sensitive issues
Encourage people to assess their options realistically
Created by Dr. David B. Ross

14. Appreciating conflict
All great relationships, the ones that last over time, require productive conflict in order to grow.  This is true in marriage, parenthood, friendship, and business.
Our challenge is to stop avoiding and fearing conflict so much, and to start appreciating it more – even if it scares us. 
The reality is that from now until the day we die, we will have many, many conflicts with people – both personally and professionally. 
Created by Dr. David B. Ross

15. Appreciating conflict
We can work to avoid them or we can appreciate them and know that conflict is an important part of life and an essential aspect of all healthy relationships. 
Appreciating conflict is one of the best ways for us to build trust, connection, and partnership with others. 
When we approach conflict from a perspective of appreciation, we give ourselves a sense of peace, awareness, and confidence that not only makes it easier to deal with and resolve the actual conflict, but also allows us to operate with a true sense of power and courage in our lives and our relationships.
Created by Dr. David B. Ross

16. “A good manager doesn't try to eliminate conflict; he tries to keep it from wasting the energies of his people. If you're the boss and your people fight you openly when they think that you are wrong - that's healthy.”
Created by Dr. David B. Ross

17. vital conflicts in your life right now
What is your appreciation of these conflicts? 
What are you learning about yourself, others, and/or life? 
What feedback are you receiving? 
How has this conflict enhanced your life or relationship? 
What will be beneficial to you and others who are involved when you resolve this conflict? 
Created by Dr. David B. Ross

18. If you look for it, you’ll be able to find many things to appreciate about your conflicts.  Appreciating these conflicts will give you a different perspective on them and will probably allow you to address them in a more effective way.
Created by Dr. David B. Ross

19. Other Possible Solutions
Be proactive
Build trust if possible
Share power
Let it go! Do not waste valuable time
You don’t get results by solving problems but by exploiting opportunities
Created by Dr. David B. Ross

20. The beginning
Created by Dr. David B. Ross

21. references
Cloke, K., & Goldsmith, J. (2005). Resolving conflicts at work. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass. Cornish, E. (2004). Futuring: The exploration of the future. Bethesda, MD: World Future Society. Dana, D. (2001). Conflict resolution. New York, NY: McGraw Hill. De Pree, M. (1989). Leadership is an art. New York, NY: Dell Publishing. Lencioni, P. (2002). The five dysfunctions of a team: A leadership fable. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass. Naisbitt, J. (2006). Mind sets. New York, NY: Harper Collins Publishing. Thompson, L. L. (2005). The mind and heart of the negotiator (3rd ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Prentice Hall. Zemke, R., Raines, C., & Filipczak, B. (2000). Generations at work: Managing the clash of veterans, boomers, xers, and nexters in your workplace. New York, NY: AMACOM.
Created by Dr. David B. Ross