1. CONNECTED PARENT , CONNECTED CHILD POSITIVE DISCIPLINE STRATIGIES FOR YOUNG FAMILIES
PRESENTED BY - JULIANNE DURAND MSW.RSW
CERTIFIED POSITIVE PARENTING EDUCATOR

3. AREAS OF EXPLORATION _________________________________________________
The Positive Discipline Approach
Basic Concepts
Reframing and Unpacking Misbehavior
Problem Solving
Connecting and Growing as a Family
Questions and Discussion

4. Positive Discipline What is it?
It is based on the belief discipline must be taught and that discipline teaches.
Is Kind and Firm at the same time. (Respectful and encouraging) 
Helps children feel a sense of Belonging and Significance. (Connection) 
Is Effective Long-Term. (Punishment works short term, but may have negative long-term results.) 
Teaches valuable Social and Life Skills for good character. (Respect, concern for others, problem- solving, accountability, contribution, cooperation) 
Invites children to discover how Capable they are and to use their personal power in constructive ways. 
Positive Discipline
What is it?

5. ATTACHMENT & CONNECTION
Human Behavior is motivated by a desire for belonging, significance, connection and worth.
Children who feel a sense of connection to their families, schools, and communities are less likely to misbehave.
All Positive Discipline methods help children achieve that sense of connection

6. A Positive Discipline Reframe
Punishment Mindset Positive Discipline Mindset
How do I make my child How do I help my child learn respect, cooperation and
understand NO ? problem solving ?
How do I get my child to LISTEN to me? How do I help my child feel capable?
How do I make this problem go away? How do I help my child feel belonging, significance and connection ?
Short Term Thinking Long Term Thinking

7. Ideas Around Punishment
Our own parents/family of origin
Societal Expectations
Assumptions Punishment can create rebellion, resistance, and children who don’t believe in their own worth.

9. BASIC CONCEPTS & BUILDING BLOCKS

10. The Building Blocks Mutual respect
Understanding the meaning behind the behavior
Understanding child development and age appropriateness
Effective communication
Discipline that teaches
Solutions not punishment
Encouragement

20. REFRAMING MISBEHAVIOR

22. PROBLEM SOLVING

23. You can’t solve anything when you have flipped your lid

24. A Few Questions Is this time to try problem solving?
This is called reactive parenting; wanting children to control their behavior when we don’t control our own.
Why do parents try to solve a problem when they or their children are in a “flipped lid” state?
afraid they aren’t doing their job; afraid they are letting the child get away with something, reacting from fear, etc.
What kinds of things help you re-gather. What kinds of things do you do?
A Few Questions

25. PUTTING YOUR LID BACK ON
BOX BREATHING
Heart beat will slow Blood pressure will decrease Decrease muscle tension Sooth your flight of flight response Turn down the volume on strong emotion

28. More About the Four “R’s”
Related – The consequences must be related to the behavior Respectful – The consequence must not involve blame, shame or pain Reasonable – Make it age appropriate and reasonable from the parent and child’s point of view Helpful – It will encourage change for everyone involved

29. More About The Four “R’s”
If one of the four “R’s” is eliminated so that the consequence is not related, respectful, reasonable, or helpful, from your child you may see:
Resentment – “This is unfair”
Revenge- They think they are winning but I will get even”
Rebellion- “I’ll show them I can do whatever I want”
Retreat – “I won’t get caught next time”

31. Connecting and Growing as a Family

33. Connecting With Self First
Clenched teeth and fists, tight muscles, headaches, a sudden desire to burst into tears or lock yourself in the bathroom – These are all symptoms of parental stress and overload. Pay attention to them.

37. Connection- The Closest Thing To Fairy Dust

38. Here’s How…
Eat the majority of meals together around the table. Television and technology are not invited.
Read together most nights before bed.
Spend one on one special time with each child once a week.
Acknowledge and validate your child’s feelings when they are hurting/angry.

39. Asking For Help

40. Reach Out For Support
Reach out to trusted adults in your circle of family, friends or community? If you ask for their support in an effort to be a better parent, they will often be happy to help. Trusted adults can babysit, run an errand or just listen to you vent about stressful situations with your children.

41. Parent support groups and parenting classes.
A good place to start looking for these types of programs would be your local recreation center or library. Talking to other moms and dads can be very valuable, not to mention a great reminder that you are not alone in the challenge of parenting!
 Sometimes parents don’t realize just how much help is out there in the form of parenting classes, support groups and playgroups!

42. One-on-One Advice
One-on-one parenting advice is best when you have specific questions or problems that you need help resolving
Family doctor/Pediatrician
Child’s teacher/daycare provider
Mental Health Professional
Trusted family members and friends

43. Parenting Books & Online Resources

44. QUESTIONS AND DISCUSSION
CONNECTED PARENT , CONNECTED CHILD POSITIVE DISCIPLINE STRATIGIES FOR YOUNG FAMILIES
QUESTIONS AND DISCUSSION