1. Introduction to Interpersonal Communication
Dr. Michael I. Arrington
COM 252
University of Kentucky

2. What is communication?
What do you think communication is? How would you define it?
Take a few moments to write write down some
thoughts…

3. Communication
Communication is defined as the interchange of thoughts or opinions through shared symbols; e.g. language, words, phrases
Some synonyms of the word communication are: message, directive, word, contact, commerce, communion, intercommunication, intercourse; converse, exchange, interchange, conversing, discussing, talking; conversation, discussion, talk, advice, intelligence, news, tidings

4. Shared symbols
Sometimes when we communicate we assume we are using shared symbols when we might not be.
Think about the term “asap”, “as soon as possible”. What does it really mean?
Think about how the meaning might change in the situations on the next slide…

5. Shared symbols
How might the meaning of “asap” change in these situations?…
My wife asks me to take out the trash asap; but UK is playing Louisville on TV.
My coworker asks for help with an article she is writing. She needs help asap; but I have another job to finish before lunch.
My boss, whom I like to please, asks me to talk with a job applicant, but I already have a stack of other jobs to finish.

6. Shared symbols
In the previous examples, we’ve seen the meaning of “asap” change from “in a few days” to “immediately”.
Many other words and phrases are also vague and have different meanings for different people.
Shared symbols are not always completely shared. The message intended is not always the message received.

7. Principle of Communication
Stimulates meaning in the mind of the other
Both verbal and nonverbal
Symbolic
A process
Functional
Systematic
Interactional
Transactional

8. Principles of IPC Involves a process of adjustment
Every message has both a content and relational level of meaning
Relationships may be viewed as symmetrical or complementary
Can be intentional or unintentional
Communication is a series of punctuated events
IPC is a transactional process
Inevitable
Irreversible
Unrepeatable

9. Maxims of Communication
You cannot not communicate.
Watzlawick, Beavin, & Jackson, 1967
The quality of your communication directly affects the quality of your life.
There is no one right way to be an effective communicator, or do an effective relationship.

10. Myths About Communication
Communication will solve all our problems
We need more communication
Communication can break down
All communication seeks understanding
Communication is a good thing
Meanings are in words
Communication is a natural ability
A competent communicator is competent across contexts
Causality can usually be attributed to a single action

11. Why do we communicate? What do you think?
Take a few moments to write down some of your thoughts…

12. Why we communicate We communicate to: Share our ideas and opinions
Provide feedback to others
Get information from others
Gain power and influence
Develop social relationships
Maintain self-expression and our culture
and other ideas you may have thought of

13. How do we communicate?
Think of the many ways in which you communicate…
Take a few moments to
write down some of your thoughts…

14. How we communicate
We communicate and build interpersonal relationships through:
Speech
Writing
Listening
Non-verbal language
Music, art, and crafts

15. Choosing your medium
Depending upon the situation, one method of communication may be better than another.
In person: one-to-one
In person: meetings, small groups
In person: presentations, large groups
Letter
Memo or Note
Voice mail
Text message

16. Choosing your medium
To determine the best medium for your message determine:
What you as the sender need to achieve
What the receiver needs to know. What the receiver wants to know
How detailed, important, and or personal the information in the message is
Which behavior you want to influence and how

17. Choosing your medium How would you communicate…
To your parents that you were getting married
To your friend that you quit your job
To your co-worker about a notice of a meeting
To a classmate that you wanted to work together on the project
To your teacher that you were having problems in the class

18. Barriers to communication
What are barriers to communication that exist in these settings?
School
Work
Family
Take a few moments to
write down some of
your thoughts…

19. Barriers to communication
Some common barriers to interpersonal communication include:
Unclear process: The receiver and sender may not share the same language, slang, jargon, vocabulary, symbols
Chain of command: There may be too many layers that a message passes through between sender and receiver
Large size of an organization, geographic distance: Large numbers of receivers require good message sending methods
Personal limitations: Physical and mental disabilities, and differences in intelligence and education may interfere with mutual understanding

20. Barriers to communication
Additional common barriers to interpersonal communication include:
Human nature: Peoples’ egos, prejudices, and traditions can get in the way
Conflicting feelings, goals, opinions: If people feel on opposite sides of an issue they may not share
Power: The idea that knowledge is power can lead to information hoarding
and other ideas you may have thought of

21. Sharing your ideas Why and when is it necessary to share your ideas?
Take a few moments to write down some of your thoughts…

22. We share ideas to… State an opinion or position
Give instructions or directions
Announce a change
Make presentations
Participate in meetings
Give information in emergencies
Communicate the organizational mission, vision, and values
and other ideas you may have thought of

23. Obstacles to sharing ideas
What can make sharing ideas difficult?
Take a few moments to
write down some of
your thoughts…
Shy
Get tongue-tied
Come across too aggressive
Speak too quickly or slowly
Information is too complicated
Disagreeing with the majority
Getting defensive

24. Obstacles to sharing ideas…
Your own shyness
Fear of rejection
Peer pressure
Unorganized thinking
Others possibly becoming defensive
Physical disabilities (impaired sight, hearing, speech)
Having to deal with aggressive people
and others you may have thought of

25. Speak for yourself…
To ensure your messages are clear, speak for yourself, not for others:
Speaking for yourself sounds like:
I, me, my…
I think, I feel, I want to know that…
Speaking for no one sounds like:
It, some people, everyone, they decided…
Speaking for others sounds like:
We, you, John, Mary said…

26. SHARE your ideas – a model
State the main point of your message
Highlight other important points
Assure the receiver’s understanding
React to how the receiver responds
Emphasize/summarize your main ideas

27. SHARE – an example State the main point of your message
“I’d like to talk to you the new employee welcome program”.
Highlight other important points
“We need to discuss the new schedule, locations, and presenters”.
Assure the receiver’s understanding
“Do you need me to further clarify how we are making invitations”?
React to how the receiver responds
“I understand your concern about parking”.
Emphasize/summarize your main ideas
“To wrap-up, I’ll develop the schedule and make the room reservations, if you can line up the guest speakers”.

28. Getting good information
Why is it necessary to get good information from others?
Take a few moments to write down some of your thoughts…

29. Get good information to…
Find out facts and details
Get directions or instructions
Try to understand another’s point of view
Help someone solve a problem
Resolve a team conflict
Solve work problems
and other ideas you may have thought of

30. Obstacles to getting good information
What can make getting good information difficult?
Take a few moments to write down some of your thoughts…
Not knowing what you want to accomplish
Talking about too many topics in the same discussion
Scheduling a discussion when there are distractions
Open-ended questions result in rambling
Close-ended questions disguised as open-ended
Jumping to conclusions
Parroting, not rephrasing what was heard
Not getting agreement or closure for action items
Interrupting the other person

31. Obstacles to getting good information
Lack of trust
Assuming you already know it all
Jumping to conclusions
Not valuing diverse opinions
Weak reading skills
Weak listening skills
Weak questioning skills
and other ideas you may have thought of

32. Competent Communication Involves…
Having a large repertoire of skills
Becoming adaptable
Knowledge and skill
Being involved
Having empathy & perspective-taking
Being cognitively complex
Self-monitoring
Tolerating ambiguity
Being open-minded

33. So what makes a “relationship”?

34. 3 Primary Functions of Relationships
Inclusion
We all need to be a part of something
We have social and identity needs
Affection
We all need to be loved
Absence of = failure to thrive (Maslow)
We have physical needs
Control
All have a need to be influenced
All have a need to influence others
We have practical needs

35. Continuum of Relationships (Steve Duck, University of Iowa, 1989)
It is impossible to have a non-interpersonal relationship
The basic unit of interpersonal communication is the dyad
There exists a continuum of relationships between social and personal
A relationship begins when there exists a mutual “recognition” of the other
Not a personal relationship until a “mutual caring and concern exists between people”

36. What Makes a Relationship “Personal”?
The interaction is personal
It is unique
It is irreplaceable
There is interdependence
There is self-disclosure
There are intrinsic rewards