1. 5- Language 1.The Nature of Language
2. Appreciating the Power of Words
3. The Use and Abuse of Language
4. Improving Your Language Use

2. What makes language such a special skill in relationships?

3. Nature
While many species communicate in one form or another, we humans are the only who use language
We are born with verbal ability, but language is improved and practiced
Language is a structured system of symbols used for communicating meaning
Many scientists believe that language developed from early human’s use of gesture
Both spoken and written words are verbal language

4. Language is Symbolic
Words are symbols that represent our thoughts, feelings, and ideas in a specific context or relationship.
Different languages use different words or symbols to represent the same idea
The meaning of words can change over time and evolve

5. Language is Arbitrary
Words mean, literally, whatever we choose for them to mean
There is no representation of the idea in the sound, look, or design of the word
Only exception: onomatopoeia- associating the sound to the meaning of the word (buzz, meow, splash, and click)
Even onomatopoeia’s vary by language

6. Language is Rule Bound Phonological rules- pronunciation (tortilla)
Syntactic rules- ordering of words within phrases (subject-adverb/ adjective-subject)
Semantic rules-meaning of individual words (association of recognizing the idea as the word)
Pragmatic rules- implications of interpretations of statements (context or tone of voice)

7. Language has Layers. Denotative- Literal/ Dictionary
Language has Layers Denotative- Literal/ Dictionary Connotative- Suggested/ Associated
Semantic Triangle
Loaded Language
Terms that carry strongly positive or strongly negative connotations
Economic Stimulus Act vs. Bailout
(Ogden & Richards)

8. Clarity Words are “ambiguous” and can have more than one meaning
Hayakawa’s Ladder of Abstraction
Words are “ambiguous” and can have more than one meaning
The word “set” has 200 meanings, more than any other word in the English language
Words can be more concrete (specific) or abstract (broad)
Abstract
Concrete

9. Context and Culture
Sapir-Whorf hypothesis- the idea that language influences the ways that members of a culture see and think about the world
Linguistic Determinism- the structure of language determines how we think (consider if there is no equivalent in a language for the word- would the idea exist?)
Linguistic Relativity- because language determines our perceptions of reality, people who speak different languages will see the world differently (view fluidity and time according to words in language)

10. Affection and Intimacy
The Power of Words
Naming
Persuading
Credibility and Power
Affection and Intimacy
Comfort and Healing

11. Naming
Impressions are influenced by names (sex, ethnicity, disposition or sense of self)
Studies suggest discrimination based on names
“Freakonomics” (6.42)
Naming Practices
Popularity
Culture or Religion
Family or Maiden/Married Name

12. Persuading Aristotle’s Argumentative Appeals or Rhetorical Proof
Ethos- respectability, trustworthiness, and moral character (establish and reinforce)
Pathos- emotions (enhances receptivity to new ideas/ affect opinion or behavior)
Logos- ability to reason/ or judge the world based on evidence rather than emotion or intuition (relevance)

13. Credibility (competent & trustworthy)
Cliché’s- phrase that were novel at one time but lost their effect because of overuse
Dialects- variations on language shared by region or social class (“y’all”)
Equivocation- disguises true intention through strategic ambiguity (“better than nothing”)
Weasel Words- intended to mislead by implication (“They say”)
Allness Statements- claiming without exception

14. Affection & Intimacy
Affection- an emotional experience that includes feelings of love and appreciation that one person has for another
Intimacy- characteristic of close, supportive relationships
Verbal statements can communicate both

15. Comfort & Healing Comfort Others Comfort Ourselves
Acknowledge the loss
Express sympathy
Offer a positive reflection
Offer assistance
Journaling
Therapy

16. Humor Euphemisms Slang Defamation Profanity Hate Speech
Use and Abuse
Humor
Euphemisms
Slang
Defamation
Profanity
Hate Speech

17. Use & Abuse Humor Euphemisms Makes social interaction more pleasant
Defuse stress
“inside jokes” reinforce intimacy
Can be attractive
Keep humor positive
Can help others feel less embarrassed or offended
Adapt to new euphemisms
Overuse can lead to emotional detachment
George Carlin

18. Use & Abuse Slang/ Jargon Defamation
Establishes the in and out groups and belonging
Allows more precise and efficient communication
Consider those in the out- group
Harms a person’s reputation or gives the person a negative image
Libel- statements made in print or other fixed medium
Slander- statements made vocally/ aloud in front of others

19. Use & Abuse Profanity Hate Speech
Vulgar, rude, or obscene in the context in which it is used
Makes others uncomfortable or insulted
Can create informal atmosphere
Can reinforce bonds in social network
Form of profanity meant to degrade, intimidate, or dehumanize people on the basis of gender, national origin, sexual orientation, religion, race, disability, political or moral views
Several laws and regulations exist in North America

20. Improving Consider the Effect you Wish to Create
Separate Opinions from Fact
Speak at an Appropriate Level
Own your Thoughts and Feelings

21. The Effect
Shared Knowledge Error- Presumption listeners have information they don’t
Shared Opinion Error- Assumption that listeners share your opinions
Monopolization Error- Inappropriately dominating the conversation

22. Appropriateness Know how simple or complex to speak for your listeners
Do not talk over or down to your listeners

23. Using I-statements I-statement You-statement Exercises: pg 171-72
Claims ownership of one’s thoughts and feelings
You-statement
Shifts responsibility for one’s thoughts or feelings to the listener
Exercises: pg