1. Negotiating Boundaries
Created by: Catherine Salole - Director, Centre for Student Community & Leadership Development
We will be talking about basic leadership training.
WHAT SORT OF SKILLS DO YOU GUYS POSSES THAT YOU BELIEVE WILL BE HELPFUL?!
Brainstorm important skills for a PL
These are the skills that you all posses, be it experience, knowledge, or similar interests and how you use these skills to your advantage. A great way to be an excellent PL is by sharing those experiences, so we will go over this concept in detail.
Presented by: Avie Khalili and Shabii Ullah Basic Peer Leadership Training
Bethune College Student Ombuds Services
Sunday, September 25th , 2016

2. We will explore: How your experiences will benefit incoming students
How your experiences may inhibit incoming students
Communication skills as a strategy to avoid this
The “Do’s and Don’ts” of leadership

3. A word on boundaries
Boundaries are important rules and guidelines that should be set out in order to maintain a positive and healthy environment.
If you do not set strong boundaries, many of the benefits of the student-peer leader relationship are LOST!
PART 3 STARTS HERE
Easier to loosen a tight boundary than to tighten a loose boundary

4. A word on boundaries
What are some possible BOUNDARIES that should be established with students?
Is it okay for you to be dating your mentee or your tutee?
What are some professional boundaries?

5. A word on boundaries Preferential treatment and consistency
What do you do if you know someone beforehand?
Such as favouring someone
Should not interfere with your role as a peer learder. Or you can tell them to switch to another pl.

6. A word on boundaries
Contact information ( s, phone numbers)
Meeting locations (e.g. office hours)
Dating?
Homework
Money
Here are some boundaries you should consider when establishing the student-peer leader relationship.
Should you have the student’s number? Fb, Instagram? Are s ok?
Where is an ideal meeting place to address student quaries?  even if you don’t have office hours, you can come in the office and meet them because the sos office is a safe place.
Why shouldn’t we do the homework of our students?
If you absolutely love the person, then you can talk to the coordinator and they can move to another mentor. Especially for peer mentors. Why do you think this boundary exists?  power gradient.
Would sharing notes be appropriate?  no, not between a peer leader and student. You should only be guiding them.
Talk to your coordinator for more info about anything you are unsure of…they are there to help you
You are not supposed to accept anything other than notes.
If student gives you money for helping them.
If you are offered food, should you take it? (important to think about your reaction, you don’t want to offend them)

7. A word on boundaries Things to keep in mind
Mention romantic relationships to your coordinator
Power imbalances
Importance of professionalism
Equitable treatment
Effective communication
Representatives of an organization
We are here to serve our peers!
-A nice way to tie the six points listed above is with the seventh and final point, which refers to the notion that our focus is on serving our peers and supporting them in their learning and academic success and essentially, not forgetting why we are here and doing what we are doing as that focus is what really informs all of our actions

8. Puzzle Time:
In your groups, complete the puzzle on your table as quickly as you can.

9. Puzzle Lessons (Part 1):
What was your experience completing the puzzle?
What were the challenges? How did you overcome them?
Why were you successful in overcoming them?
Now can we get some comments on what some of your experiences were?
Ask around to get the right pieces
Accepting things that are out of your control
Comfortable with each other
Working as a team, rather than alone
How do you think that experience benefitted you as a Peer Leader?  communication, creativity,
Are there any parallels that can be drawn to the experience of someone who may be seeking help from you?
You can see how completing the puzzle was an uncertain situation, one in which you felt you needed to reach out and ask for help. This is analogous to the situation that students, whether your mentees seeking advice on adjusting to university life or peers seeking assistance in learning course content will find themselves in. Now when you were happily greeted by a member of another table, worked together as a team and were offered the assistance you were seeking, it was a very positive and relieving experience for you. It is this same positive feeling and benefit, that we hope to provide the students that seek our assistance.
Now I knew you all had experience with puzzles, but it’s sharing these positive experiences with each other that make you all qualified peer leaders.
You all used the resources around you (friends, strangers, pictures etc.) to help you accomplish your task.
Sharing these positive experiences will make you successful at your position and it is very important you keep this in mind

10. Reflection Exercise
The successes and challenges you had as a York student
The positive and negative experiences you had as a York student
Someone who has had a great impact on you as a student
ANONYMOUS:
Now I want you all to understand how your experiences will affect your mentee or tutee or anyone you come in contact with. Take a look at the screen here and I wanted you to write down some things that come to mind.
Snowball activity

11. The Benefit of your Experience:
How might your experiences benefit an incoming student?
How might you positive experience affect an incoming student
Academically
Socially
Do any of you have mentors that helped you in your transition? How did these people help you?

12. The Benefit of sharing your Experience:
Navigating the system
How and where to get help
How to get good grades
How to make meaningful connections
How to talk to faculty
How to make the most of classes
How to get what you need from your readings
Knowing the language and culture of university
Navigating the system: using the resources available and sharing them with others.

13. Puzzle Lessons:
What would you say if I told you that none of the puzzles were/are complete?
Can see how simply sharing a small piece of information can have a large effect on people, in this case me telling you that the puzzle game was rigged and that you weren’t supposed to be able to complete it has made you somewhat resentful, and in the context of a peer leader-student relationship you providing advice without a disclaimer that dissuades someone from doing something or causes them to question their abilities can have a negative effect on them as well that can be quite pronounced.
So it is important that while we openly share our experiences with students, we are careful to add disclaimers to them in certain instances and do not attempt to make decisions for them

14. The Pitfalls of sharing your Experience:
What are the drawbacks to imparting
our own experience on others?
You may leave them with your own bias. Ex: I hated that professor….

15. The Pitfalls of sharing your Experience:
What worked for me may not work for others
Academic rules change from year to year
Can come across as patronizing
Not about us! The focus should be the student
We make assumptions and have biases
We pass along our baggage and close off what
might be valuable avenues for our students

16. The Parable of the Butterfly
A word on boundaries
One short story…
The Parable of the Butterfly

17. The Parable of the Butterfly
A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day, a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through the little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as though it had gotten as far as it could, and it could go no further. So, the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily, but it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.
Choral reading

18. The Parable of the Butterfly
What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were nature’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
What is the moral of this story?
How does this apply to the context of Peer Leadership?

19. What do you think are the Do’s and Don’ts of a Peer Leader?
Ethics of Leadership
What do you think are the Do’s and Don’ts of a Peer Leader?

20. Ethics of Leadership Do Be: A friend An advisor Pro-student
Sensitive to uniqueness of each student
Ready to share your experiences
An empowerer
Don’t Be:
A buddy
Condescending
Anti-York
Inconsistent in what you give your students
Imposing your solutions
A problem solver

21. Please write 3 things you have learned from this module!
Final Thoughts
Please write 3 things you have learned from this module!

22. References and Resources
Brown, M., David, G. and McClendon, S. (1999). Mentoring graduate students of color: Myths, models, and modes. Peabody Journal of Education, 74 (2),
Chickering, A. and Reisser, L. (1993). Education and Identity, 2nd Edition. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Ferrari, J. (2004). Mentors in life and at school: Impact on undergraduate mentee perceptions of university mission and values. Mentoring and Tutoring, 12(3),
Fox, A. and Stevenson, L. (2006). Exploring the effectiveness of peer mentoring of accounting and finance students in higher education. Accounting Education: An international Journal, 15 (2), June,
Jacobi, M. (1991). Mentoring and undergraduate academic success: A literature review. Review of Educational Research, 61,

23. References and Resources
Ottawa County Michigan State University Extension. (1997). Mentor Manual. East Lansing: Michigan State University Extension. Copyright 1997 by Michigan State University Board of Trustees. Retrieved from Boundaries.pdf . April 4, 2011.
Rogers, M. (2007). Peer Mentoring and Student Success. Presentation made at Peer Mentoring Sharing Event, York University, December, 2007.
Sosik, J. and Godshalk, V. (2005). Examining gender similarity and mentor’s supervisory status in mentoring relationships. Mentoring and Tutoring, 13(1),
Tam, L. (2007). Mentor Handbook: Fine Arts Student Ambassadors and Mentors. Faculty of Fine Arts, York University.