1. Restorative Practices #3 From Peace Keeping to Peace Making
Restore Relationships
Build Community
Repair Harm
Restorative Practices #3 From Peace Keeping to Peace Making
Today we will review:
---Restorative Practices that are used in our classrooms to prevent conflicts and build relationships and
---Restorative Practices that we use as interventions when conflicts arise.
---How trauma and self-regulation connects with Restorative Practices
---Also, we will address four of the most asked questions when using Restorative Practices and watch a short Healing Circle demonstration video.
At the end I will ask for feedback on how it’s going and how we can continue to improve our practices.

2. Defining a Restorative Approach
“… a process to involve, to the extent possible, those who have a stake in a specific conflict and to collectively identify and address harms, needs and obligations, in order to heal and put things as right as possible.” - Howard Zehr from The Little Book of Restorative Justice
This is a definition of Restorative Justice. The original concept of Restorative Justice comes from Native people of North America and New Zealand. “Restorative Justice” is the term used by the Justice system to make things as right as possible after a law has been broken.
Read definition. Today schools are taking a “Restorative Justice” approach, calling it “Restorative Practices” to create a safe school environment
Restorative Practices is the term SPS will be using for a 3 tiered approach to prevent or reduce conflicts, respond to conflicts in a positive manner, and resolve conflicts after they have occurred; or after discipline has been assigned.

3. Two Different Views of Misbehaviors
Historical View
Restorative View
Violations are of school rules
Discipline process establishes guilt
Accountability assigns consequence or punishment
Violations are of relationships and sense of community
Identifies needs and obligations of all
Accountability means understanding impact and repairing the harm
When comparing “then” to “now”, you can see a paradigm shift. The historical view is necessary, but not always effective in changing behavior. Read/compare the “Two Views”.
The Restorative approach puts major accountability on the individual who created the harm as well as the involvement of those who were harmed. This is a major change from exclusionary discipline that can put students behind and breaks the relationship.

4. Why Restorative Practices?
It defines our learning community with a sense of belonging and the importance of relationships.
Conflicts happen and are opportunities to strengthen relationships when the harm is repaired.
It teaches problem solving, cooperation and accountability when all voices are heard and valued.
We always need to keep the “Why” of Restorative Practices front and center.
Why use Restorative Practices?
1.) Builds community…gives all students a sense of belonging. Belonging is a basic need and important for learning to happen.
Belonging is built on supportive relationships.
2.) Conflicts happen each and every day. The question is how are we going to respond to the conflict? They can be seen as opportunities for understanding and ways to find agreement to improve relationships and repair the harm.
3.) Restorative Practices are applied life skills: problem solving, working together, and taking responsibility. In this process all voices are heard and Points of View (POV) are understood.

5. Wonderings?
Turn to a partner and share your thoughts and wonders about Restorative Practices

6. More about Teaching than Punishment
Asking questions, Making agreements, Sharing thoughts and feelings, Surrounding those with greatest needs.
Punishment isolates and excludes, breaks relationships, does not address behaviors, and pay back happens.
Telling is not teaching
Restorative Practices is about teaching expectations and pro social behaviors. This approach is done by restorative communications, problem solving, making agreements and resolving conflicts, “with” students ( not to them of for them).
Punishment often does not change behaviors, it can make the situation worse. The student isolated, excluded, relationship is made insecure, and saving face can result in pay back. Overall more tension and more stress added to the situation.
Telling the rules is different than making agreements. (discuss + and – of rules vs agrements)

7. A Relational Approach to Behaviors
A trusting and safe relationship is the preferred approach when addressing challenging behaviors.
When harm is created, making things right is the task at hand.
Finding “resolution” is a relationship and community building process. How to move on….
Your best chance of positive behaviors with students is positive relationships with students.
Discuss: “How do you build safe and trusting relationships with students”. Make a list – share out
Restorative Communication is the foundation of relationship building.

8. Building Relationships
Share ways that you build safe and trusting relationships with your students. or
Ways you lower the stress and up the emotional safety in your classroom.
Have people find a partner to share a one minute speech.
1. Give the prompt,
2. One person talks and the other person listens.
3. Ring a bell. Switch.
4. Find a new partner
5. Go to the next prompt…..start… stop…. Switch
6. Find a new partner
7. Go to the next prompt
What was the most fun topic? Why?
What was the most provocative topic? Why?

9. Restorative Strategies for Schools
Affective Statements
Restorative Dialogue
Restorative Conferences
Repairing the Harm Circles
Community Building Circles
Mediation
Restorative Practice in Action San Francisco Unified School District Video
Restorative Strategies for Schools
Now we are going to see a 10 min video from the SFUSD. It shares a k-12 approach where restorative practices are used at all levels and many ways. You will hear staff, parents, and students talk about these strategies. Listen for common language and common themes.
After the video you can ask: “what were the common themes you heard”
trust, accountability, problem solving, common language, build community, relationships………  

10. Three Tiers and PBIS Conflict Resolution Responding to Conflict
Formal Conferencing
Repairing Harm Circles
Responding to Conflict
Making Agreements
Mediations
Conflict Resolution Circles
This is how three tiers of Restorative Practices relate to three tiers of PBIS. You can see by taking this approach, we can reduce conflicts, respond to conflicts and use restorative practices after corrective action has been taken.
Let’s first review the practices that take place at each level.
Classroom Practices for Reducing Conflict and Building Relationships
Affective Language
Classroom Circles
Restorative Questions

11. Classroom Practices for Reducing Conflict and Building Relationships (Tier 1)
1. Affective Statements: to demonstrate and teach empathy; “I observe….I feel…. I need…. my request….”
2. Restorative Questions: for understanding and problem solving (the card)
3. Classroom Circles: to build community, offer support, and set expectations
These are the three tools that can be used in every classroom everyday to reduce conflict and build strong relationships within the learning community.
When there is misbehavior or a conflict in class, teachers can respond by making an “Affective Statement” or asking “Restorative Questions”.
Affective Language can help to develop a greater empathy with students.
The 4 step process is to send an “Affective Statement is:
“ I notice…..I feel…. I need….my request…..” This can be used for positive or negative behaviors.
2. Restorative questions (the cards) can often help students begin to reflect on their behaviors and give you more insight on what is going on behind the behavior.
Circles are a great way to build a positive climate of respect before conflicts happen.
3. Classroom Circles are a great way to build community, clarify expectation, check-in, set intentions for the day, problem solve a situation or give support when needed. It shows that we are all in this together.

12. Affective Statements Your thoughts and feelings are expressed
Demonstrates empathy and caring
Informs students how their actions affect others
I notice…..
I am feeling……
What I need is…..
Are you willing to …..
Affective language is used to model communication where feelings are expressed in a thoughtful way that does not blame or shame. It shows teachers are human and shows students how their actions affect others, which also helps students develop empathy.
Affective statements are a good way to start a restorative dialogue. Be invitational and welcoming to students when problem solving. It is a shared problem between teacher and student and both POV need to be understood.

13. These are the basic questions to a restorative dialogue
These are the basic questions to a restorative dialogue. Teachers/staff can have these cards as a script reminder of the questions that will generate solutions. Read the questions. When a conflict happens, these questions are the anchor script.
This Restorative dialogue needs to happen when everyone is calm. The student must be regulated before they can problem solve. Offer the time needed for self-regulation or the process will not work.
Usually a 2 min conversation outside of class will help work out the problem. Often it will not work the first time. Be persistent and patience (and open hearted). If a resolution is not found, there are additional steps in our discipline plan.

14. Circles: Classroom, Check-in, Healing, Conflict Resolution, Community Building
“In the Circle, we are all equal No one is in front. No one is behind No one is above. No one is below We are all related – the Circle creates unity.”
Oglala Lakota quote
Circles are very powerful structures to address and build a strong community.
Sitting in a circle can bring a different energy to a group. Encourage circles at staff meetings, in classrooms, during advisory, and at conferences. When people circle up, there is a feeling of unity and promotes working together.
Handout: Check-in Circles

15. Check-in Circles Purpose: Make a connection
Structure: 15 min; in a circle
Role of Facilitator: create a safe, supportive, and structured circle
Guidelines: Four agreements
Agenda:
Prompt #1
Prompt #2
What we learned…. What’s next
Review handout: ”Check-in Circles: Building Community One Circle at a Time”
Have teacher think about when a check in could be very helpful:
-Beginning of the week check
-Feelings about state testing check
-Classroom expectations/rules are not being followed check
-Next grading period resolutions check
-Others

16. These are the conditions that need to be created for the questions to work. It’s all about emotional safety and working “with”.
- Everyone needs to feel safe and respected. Be calm… be sure the student is calm.
Think about personal space. Side by side is better than nose to nose.
Everyone needs to feel heard. Active listening (listen, summarize, clarify)
Be positive and affirming of the person and the process. “Thanks for helping”
Remember, we are working with the student, not to them or for them.

17. Some students lose control and conflicts escalate. Regulation
Adverse Childhood Experiences often effect students’ ability to handle stress. Schools are socially demanding places.
Conditions to resolve conflicts must feel safe, supportive and non-judgmental.
Students who experience trauma live in a chronic state of fear, they can become rude and disrespectful when asked restorative questions. Give them time to regulate.
It is important to consider our response to conflict …. Did it escalate or de-escalate the situation?
Staying regulated is the key for everyone involved. When students or staff feel fearful, unsafe, disrespected, or challenged, their brain goes off-line and its impossible to be restorative.
In the heat of the moment, mirror neurons are firing...escalating conflict. Take time to breath, make space to reflect, and offer support to communicate the importance of the relationship and the resolution of the conflict.

18. Defining Trauma: Toxic Stress, PTSD, Chronic Stress ACE’s
Any event that is more overwhelming than what is expected. Such an event puts a child in the place of feeling out of control, scared, terrified, worthless, insecure, or even endangered
When a child is belittled, degraded, ridiculed, threatened physically, withheld affection, neglected emotionally or physically, trauma occurs
Help for Billy Heather Forbes
Read the definition. Share that there is acute trauma which is a one time event vs. complex trauma which happens over and over is various ways through Adverse Childhood experiences.
Think of how many of your students, this might have happened to.
Trauma can change how the brain processes social interactions and situations.

19. ACE’s Adverse Childhood Experiences or Complex Trauma
External
Internal
Domestic violence
Substance abuse in the family
Mental illness in the family
Incarcerated household member
Homelessness
Emotional abuse
Physical abuse
Sexual abuse
Emotional neglect
Physical neglect
These events are commonly identified at Adverse Childhood Experiences. The list on the left are environmental situations that may affect those living together (external to the child). The list on the right are experiences that happen directly to the child that has a different impact.
The more adverse experiences, the more risk to secure attachments.
The brain is wired with greater hyper-vigilance, fear, and insecurity and can often become dysregulated (off line to thinking and problem solving), and go to the survival fight or flight mode. Some call this the upstairs brain (thinking) and down stairs brain (for survival).

20. Needs of our Students: Hierarchy of Learning
Basic Needs
Safety
Relationships/Love
Self-esteem
Learning
Learning
Self-Esteem
Secure Relationships
Safety
Basic Needs – Food, Rest, Etc.
Needs of our Students: Hierarchy of Learning
How schools are designed
The needs of a youth who has experienced ACE’s have basic needs and safety and security needs that must be met before learning can happen. A safe and secure classroom with routines and structures is a must.
From Help For Billy by Heather T. Forbes, LCSW

21. Window of stress tolerance
Impact
Window of stress tolerance
Breaking Point
For a securely attached student
For a student who is insecurely attached
Schools and classrooms are a socially demanding place for students to be. Students coming from a secure home have a larger window of stress tolerance.
Students coming from homes with greater chaos and more ACE’s, will have a smaller window of stress tolerance and become dysregulated quicker. A shorter fuse, so to speak.
If students have safe and secure relationships and classrooms, the stress window can enlarge., but it takes time.
From Help For Billy by Heather T. Forbes, LCSW

22. Dysregulation: Hyper- or Hypo- arousal
Students Response to Stress or Fear
Dysregulation: Hyper- or Hypo- arousal
Fight
Unable to focus or sit still
Aggressive
Resistant to directives
Argumentative
Anxious before tests
Risk taking
Flight & Freeze
Defiant
Withdraws from peers
Tardy/ Absent
Shuts down
Avoids tasks
Numbs out – “I don’t care”
Students behavior often is a result of their stress response. Some students Hyper-arousal goes into a fight mode. Resulting behaviors…….
Or a Hypo-arousal response results in flight or freeze behaviors such as:
Both take attention. To change the behaviors, students need a safe and secure environment.
From Help For Billy by Heather T. Forbes, LCSW

23. Hope The human brain changes throughout life
A person can grow their resilience and “earn security” through positive-secure environments and relationships
When home and family are challenging situation then schools, church, and youth programs can play important roles in building resilience
There is hope. The brain can change… neuroplasticity. With greater security comes greater regulation.
Resiliency is built through safe and trusting relationships and environments.

24. Response What can we do? Be Reflective: “What’s driving the behavior?”
Understand Triggers: “Name it to Tame It”
Create a classroom designed for regulation
Rupture - Repair conversations in response to conflict
Build safe and trusting relationships
Be Strong – Kind – Committed vs. (Mean – Weak – Gone)
These are a few tools that can help students stay regulated.
It’s a good idea for designated space within a classroom where students can go to self regulate and process behaviors, thoughts and feelings. A place to process conflict.
To be kind and strong at the same time is also an important concept.
Handout: Restorative Tools for Regulation

25. Restorative Practices that Respond to Conflict and Misbehavior (Tier II and III)
1. Restorative Conferencing: Understanding the conflict, sharing needs, making a plan (posters)
2. Mediations and Agreements: Restorative questions asked by a neutral facilitator, leading to a written agreement for mutual gain.
3. Healing Circles: Conflict resolution and repairing harm uses restorative questions to a circle of those impacted.
4. Re-entry conferences: After corrective actions, a connection of support and resolution for those affected. The victim and offender voice is heard.
Teachers involved in Tier II and Tier III interventions will need support and involvement with counselors, ISI staff, admin team or central support staff. Teachers are not expected to use these practices on their own.
Conferencing is a more formal process that uses Restorative questions, and the conflict resolution process on our posters. The steps are to 1st Define the conflict, 2nd Identify needs, 3rd Make a plan. The plan/agreement is written.
Mediation is a process used when a two people can not negotiate an agreement (or verbal agreements are broken) and need a neutral person to facilitate the process.
Healing Circles bring all parties together to share all POV’s and work together to come up with a solution. We will see a circle shortly.
After a suspension, we need to meet with all parties and review what happened, come up with better ways to deal with the problem, identify support people, and make a plan to fix the harm.

26. Healing Circle Video
A 6 min. video that demonstrates a Healing Circle at Shaw Middle School.
Listen for student voice
Observe the process steps
How did this circle help to make things right?
Here is an example of a healing circle at Shaw middle school. Healing circles bring resolution to multi-party disputes.
Listen for student voice, the ground rules, the process, and the agreement.

27. What if a student does not want to repair the harm? Empathy
Developing Empathy; Using affective language will help students learn empathy.
It’s a new ask; Often students may not have been given the opportunity to make things right.
Making things right is different than punishment that assigns guilt or shame. It takes time to work “with”.
Empathy occurs when judgement or indifferences is replaced with understanding and caring.
Empathy is a quality that is necessary for Restorative Practices to work. It is not easy for youth to identify the feelings of others. Empathy can be taught and nurtured by sharing your feelings and asking the questions like:
“How do you think others feel about your actions?”
“How do you think the conflict impacted others?”
“How would you feel if it had happened to you?”
Working with students to come up with ways to make things right can take time, but it usually leads to a more satisfying outcome for all, and helps the learning community. Spending time up front, before the conflict has escalated, will hopefully save time in the long run.

28. Is saying “I’m sorry” enough? Accountability
Is the apology heart-felt? Did the student understand and recognize the feelings expressed?
What else needs to be done to repair the harm that meets the needs of everyone?
Is there an understanding of what is the root cause of the conflict?
Forcing an apology is not restorative. If there is a true understanding of the harm created and the feelings that others experienced, you can see if there is remorse for the behaviors. An apology at that point, can be given and received, and will have meaning.
There are many ways to apologize. It’s more about taking responsibility for the actions and the impact. After an apology is offered, its often good to ask:
“what else can you do to make things right?” or
“how will you handle things differently next time?”

29. How is the victim involved and supported? Victim Impact
Victims are supported and encouraged to directly share feelings and thoughts with those who created the harm.
Ask the right questions so the one who is harmed will be heard and empowered by the process.
Offer the safety and structure of a healing circle including a preconference and advocate.
If there is a clear victim in a conflict, they will need support to feel safe again. There are important questions to ask those who have been harmed such as:
“How do you feel about what happened?”
“What impact has this incident had on you” (and others)?
“What has been the hardest part of this situation for you?”
“How do you think things can be made right?”
Those who were harmed (victim) must be met with separately before the conference or mediation (called a pre-conference) to explain the process and find out how they were impacted and what they need. It is also important to determine their willingness to share so their voice is heard and they feel empowered by the process. They may also need an advocate to be with them during the process.

30. Keep in Mind
People change out of support, not threats, punishment or coercion; the more support-the greater the change.
Your relationship is the best tool in your tool box.
Keeping an open mind and an open heart will help to make restorative practices work.
Open Mind = an interest in all points of view, all positions
Open Heart = compassion, curiosity, suspends judgement
Finally, this is hard work. Conventional discipline that assigns a punishment or consequence, often doesn’t change behaviors because it is an external approach.
We want students to do the right thing when no one is watching.
Keeping an open mind and open heart to this process is our best way of being.
Be kind to yourself, especially when the approach is new or different.
Often discipline practices exclude and separate students with misbehaviors, where restorative practices puts more people around the student to support change.

31. Connecting the Dots PBIS Social -Emotional Learning
Trauma Sensitive Learning Environments
Understanding Impact of ACEs
Restorative Practices
Culturally Responsive Classrooms
(Optional Slide)
There are many training opportunities offered in our district.
PBIS, SEL, RP, ACE’s, and Culture are all very connected and overlap in philosophy, knowledge, and skills. They are more the same than different.
We will continue to connect the dots as we get smarter together.

32. How’s It Going with Restorative Practices? Your feedback is appreciated
1. Share your biggest learning so far with Restorative Practices
2. Where do you find Restorative Practices most helpful; what is working for you?
3. What other supports or training do you need to better utilize Restorative Practices?
Here is a short survey so we can see how Restorative Practices are going.
After you fill it out, get with a group of two or three and share your thoughts.
After a few minutes let’s have a large group share out.