1. Individual & Family Dynamics
LOVE

2. Agenda Discussion: What is love? (5 Minutes) Video (5 Minutes)
Experiences with Love (5 Minutes)
Three types of love (45 Minutes)
Agenda

4. How would you define love?

6. “Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous
“Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.”

7. According to one theory, there are 3 different kinds of love.

8. What have your experiences of love been like?

9. ROMANTIC LOVE: (A.K.A. “the honeymoon stage” or infatuation)
Most relationships start out with romantic love. The outward signs of romantic love are easy to recognize. Couples walking hand in hand, staring into each other’s eyes, so focused on each other, tuning the world out and wanting to spend all their time together.
During this stage, everything about the relationship and the other person seems perfect. Both partners usually try to show only their better sides, and unattractive traits are either not recognized, or they are redefined so that they seem like positive characteristics.

10. Romantic Love...
Example: instead of viewing your partner as ‘selfish’, you might see them as ‘independent’, instead of ‘stubborn’ you see them as ‘determined’.
Often the early warning signs of controlling behaviour, like extreme jealousy and possessiveness, are misunderstood as a sign of love and devotion. Both partners want to be together all of the time, and this is also seen as proof of true love. In most cases, reality sets in eventually and both partners begin to see each other’s faults. At this point, the relationship can grow into a nurturing or an addictive relationship.

11. ADDICTIVE LOVE: (A.K.A. “An abusive relationship”)
When the desire to be together every minute turns into a feeling of extreme need for the partner to be constantly available, romantic love has turned into addictive love. One or both partners may something like, “I’ll die if he doesn’t call me.” “I can’t live without her,” “She’s everything to me.”
Addictive love is a learned behaviour, and males and females often show their ‘addiction’ differently because of their learned gender roles. Gender roles have defined females as emotional and needy, so often dependency on a partner is seen as natural and practical. However, because dependence does not fit with a ‘manly’ image, males are less likely to admit to being ‘hooked’.

12. Addictive love...
Instead, a male may claim he does not need his partner, yet he feels a desperate need to keep her close so he tries to control her. He often does this by putting her down, insisting she has no right to ‘neglect’ him, calling her selfish, and threatening to break up with her.
In a male-female couple, the way the male shows his addiction through criticism may lead the female to believe the problems in the relationship are her fault. She may also believe that he doesn’t need her, so she becomes insecure about herself and the relationship. She narrows the focus of her life to concentrate on pleasing him, and the exaggerated idea of how necessary he is to her life. She feels like she is addicted to him, and does not realize her power to make healthy choices.

13. Some signs of Addictive Love
A person believe he or she “can’t live without” the other person.
Less and less time of the couple’s time together is happy, interesting or satisfying. More and more time is spent arguing, apologizing, making promises, expressing anger, feeling guilty and being afraid of upsetting the other.
Lower feelings of self-worth (self-esteem) and self-control.
A person is unable to enjoy time away from his or her partner, and when apart is always “counting the minutes” until they are together again.
A person often makes and breaks promises to him or herself to limit dependency on the partner (“I won’t call him,” “I won’t ask her where she’s been,” “I won’t wait for the phone to ring.”)

14. Signs of Addictive Love
A feeling of never being able to get enough of the person.
Often involves pressure to be sexually involved.
Increasing efforts to control the other person.

15. Nurturing Love (A.K.A. “Healthy Relationship”)
Nurturing love is when romantic love matures into a deeper, more complicated relationship. Both people appreciate each other’s positive qualities, but also recognize and accept each other’s limitations. Both partners want the other to grow and develop to his or her fullest potential. This means that they encourage each other to have other close friendships and to get the satisfaction out of independent activities. In nurturing love, one partner is even able to accept when the other wants to spend more time apart. If one person ends the relationship, the other will experience sadness and grief, but will not be devastated to the point of being self- destructive or unable to function.

16. Nurturing Love...
If a relationship continues, nurturing love evolves into mature love. You cannot “fall” into mature love. Mature love grows as a relationship grows. It takes time and effort to develop mature love in a relationship.

17. Some Characteristics of Mature Love Include:
Sharing interests and ideas
Deepens and grows as a friendship grows
Other-centered, giving of self to benefit the other person
Accepting of each other, even with imperfections
Trusting and secure
Patient, kind and willing to take time to make wise decisions.