1. Issues: Writing Assignment #1
ENG 1B

2. Overall, your stories (anecdotes) were excellent.
Good work!

3. If your opening paragraph was an interesting anecdote, that’s even better.
Here’s a good one:

4. “San Francisco de Asis,” Mrs
“San Francisco de Asis,” Mrs. Robinson called out as she looked at me, making sure I was paying attention. “This is the mission you will do your project on.”
In the fourth grade, most of us in California had to do a project on the Spanish missions in California. In our class, students would be making scale-models of the various missions. When I was told that mine was in San Francisco, I was very happy because this mission is close to Stockton and I would be able to visit it with my family. I have now had several memorable experiences involving art, but visiting Mission Dolores in fourth grade is at the top of my list.
We woke up early one morning so we could avoid the Bay Area traffic…

5. Only two significant issues:
1. Following instructions
2. Sentence structure

6. Following instructions
Writing Assignment #1
Second Draft
STAPLE together:
Your freshly-printed copy of your essay
The editing checklist you received last time
The instructions handout

7. Following instructions
If you don’t have a grade on your paper, that means you submitted an incomplete bundle.

8. Format: see back side of this sheet
Following instructions
Format: see back side of this sheet

9. My Most Memorable Artistic Experiences
Following instructions
Writing Assignment # Thomas Wilson
My Most Memorable Artistic Experiences

10. Following instructions
Writing Assignment # Thomas Wilson
My Most Memorable Artistic Experiences
Note: I gave you the title for this essay.

11. Following instructions
Length: 2 pages minimum

12. Following instructions
Length: 2 pages minimum

13. Sentence Structure
Compound sentences
Comma splices

14. Sentence Structure—the Compound Sentence
I have always liked Mexican music and I prefer listening to it more than anything else.

15. Sentence Structure—the Compound Sentence
I have always liked Mexican music and I prefer listening to it more than anything else.

16. Sentence Structure—the Compound Sentence
I have always liked Mexican music and I prefer listening to it more than anything else.

17. Sentence Structure—the Compound Sentence
I have always liked Mexican music, and I prefer listening to it more than anything else.

18. Sentence Structure—the Comma Splice
We purchased tickets for the concert, it turned out to be an amazing night.

19. Sentence Structure—the Comma Splice
We purchased tickets for the concert, it turned out to be an amazing night.

20. Sentence Structure—the Comma Splice
We purchased tickets for the concert, it
turned out to be an amazing night.
Solution 1: Make two sentences.
We purchased tickets for the concert. It
turned out to be an amazing night.

21. Sentence Structure—the Comma Splice
We purchased tickets for the concert, it
turned out to be an amazing night.
Solution 2: Add a conjunction.
We purchased tickets for the concert, and it
turned out to be an amazing night.

22. Sentence Structure—the Comma Splice
We purchased tickets for the concert, it
turned out to be an amazing night.
Solution 3: Change comma to semi-colon.
We purchased tickets for the concert; it
turned out to be an amazing night.

23. A Note About DIALOGUE
“You’re going to Washington DC,” my mom told me. “Who, me? I asked. “What do you mean I’m going to Washington DC?”
Incorrect

24. A Note About DIALOGUE “You’re going to Washington DC,” my mom told me.
“Who, me? I asked. “What do you mean I’m going to Washington DC?”
Correct

25. Change of speaker = new ¶
A Note About DIALOGUE
“You’re going to Washington DC,” my mom told me.
“Who, me? I asked. “What do you mean I’m going to Washington DC?”
Change of speaker = new ¶

26. GRADING Most essays still in need of editing—a few, serious editing.
If you’re happy with your current grade—you’re done!
Otherwise, you have ONE WEEK from today to submit a THIRD DRAFT.
If you know you have weaknesses in your writing, visit the RWLC in
Holt 201.