1. 02086 Writing Inspirations, 2017 Aalto University
School of Arts, Design and Architecture

2. Session 4 Homework: Exhibition draft + Exercises 8 and 9
In/formality > Intro to the academic writing style
More on transitional words and phrases
Additional slides on improving readability
Peer editing your Exhibition writing for formality & flow
(If time: Readability principle 1)
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3. Intro to the academic writing style
How was the ’Intro to academic writing style’-handout?
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4. In/formality: Verbs, Nouns & Other Parts of Speech
1. Use latinate verbs instead of Anglo-Saxon (two-word) verbs
Phrasal verb (verb + particle/ preposition):
The artist aims at finding new ways of looking at the world. (less formal style)
Latinate verbs (single-word):
The artist strives to find new ways of perceiving the world. (academic style)

5. Task Eight caused investigating determine developed constitute
eliminate
reached
maintain
decreased
reviews 5

6. Task Nine developed, invented, found encountered, faced raised
emerged, surfaced
considered, examined 6

7. Now try Exercise Ten!

8. Task Ten an integral part of nearly considerable obtained increasing
intensified, increased
lack
are rare, occur seldom
enlarged to ease the transport of vehicles
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9. In/formality: Formal Grammar Style
2. Avoid contractions (-’nt, -’s, -’ve, -’d)
Hydrogen is very difficult to store because it’s the smallest element.
A Porsche doesn't necessarily have more energy in its gas tank than a Hyundai; it is just able to transfer it more quickly.
Hydrogen is very difficult to store because it is the smallest element.
A Porsche does not necessarily have more energy in its gas tank than a Hyundai; it is just able to transfer it more quickly. 9

10. Language Focus: Formal Grammar Style
3. Use the more appropriate formal negative forms
not ... any  no
The analysis didn't yield any new results.
The analysis yielded no new results.
not ... much  little
The government didn't allocate much funding for the program.
The government allocated little funding for the program.
not ... many  few
This problem doesn't have many viable solutions.
This problem has few viable solutions. 10

11. In/formality: Formal Grammar Style
4. Avoid "run on" expressions ("and so forth" and "etc.“)
Semiconductors can be used in robots, CD players, etc.
Semiconductors can be used in robots, CD players, and other electronic devices .
Semiconductors can be used in devices, such as robots and CD players.
Semiconductors can be used in many devices, including robots and CD players. 11

12. 5. Avoid personal pronouns "you", “we”, “I”, “people”
In/formality: Formal Grammar Style
5. Avoid personal pronouns "you", “we”, “I”, “people”
You can see the results in Table 1.
People commonly refer to the kilogram as a unit of weight, but it is a unit of mass.
The results can be seen in Table 1.
Table 1 shows the results for…
The kilogram is commonly referred to as a unit of weight, but it is a unit of mass. 12

13. Language Focus: Formal Grammar Style
6. Limit the use of direct and indirect questions
Direct question:
How can artists influence the world around them?
Indirect question:
We need to consider how artists influence our world.
This essay considers ways artistic visions have changed the world.

14. 7. Place adverbs within the verb
Language Focus: Formal Grammar Style
7. Place adverbs within the verb
Also, light energy can be absorbed by matter .
Our planet's rotation has slowed dramatically since it first formed.
Light energy can also be absorbed by matter. (Midposition)
Our planet's rotation has dramatically slowed since it first formed.( Midposition) 14

15. In/formality: Formal Grammar Style
8. Avoid the possessive -’s with inanimate objects
The momentum of a material object is defined as p = mv, the product of the object's mass and its velocity vector.
A computer’s keyboard is an input device partially modelled after the typewriter.
The momentum of a material object is defined as p = mv, the product of the mass and velocity vector of the object.
A computer keyboard is an input device partially modelled after the typewriter. 15

16. Now try Exercise Twelve!

17. Task Twelve
This model can be used to analyze the effects of several parameter changes.
There are various possible reasons for coffee prices falling.
The difference can be clearly seen between these two approaches to designing underground subway stations.
Or: These two approaches clearly differ in their design of underground subway stations.
5. Recent research has shown that the arms are commonly used for protection during a fall to the ground.
6. According to recent research, arms are commonly used….
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18. Task Twelve
7. To date, no comprehensive study has considered the role of smiling in gaining the initial trust of individuals.
8. Some studies have concluded that bamboo could be more widely used as a construction material.
9. These special tax laws have been enacted in six states, including Illinois, Iowa and Ohio.
10. Little research exists on the use of oil palm shell as coarse aggregate in the production of concrete.
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19. Intro to Transitional Words and Phrases
Ever received comments like these on your writing?
“choppy,” “jumpy,” “abrupt,” “flow,” “need signposts,” or “how is this related?”an
trouble following your organization or train of thought
You tend to write the way you think—and your brain often jumps from one idea to another pretty quickly.d
What do we mean by transitional words and phrases?
pinions
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20. Now we will try some additional exercises to help you with your homework!

21. Patchwork writing; Transitional Words and Phrases
Look at your own Exhibition writing.
Does your text flow smoothly from one sentence to another?
Or should you add some transitional markers?
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22. Homework:
Submit your Exhibition Writing to Mycourses (Session 4) by Sunday!
2) Writing Activity 3: Google one or two Artist Statements from your own field.
Post 1-2 links to statements in Mycourses by Sunday night (23:55). Comment on what you found ( words), e.g.
Are artist / designer statements important in your field?
What are they used for? When / where?
How relevant are they for your work / studies / career?
What do you think is important when writing one?
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