1. Planning Business Messages
Chapter 2
Planning Business Messages

2. Basics of Business Writing
Business messages are different from college essays, term papers, and messages to friends.
Conciseness and clarity count.
istockphoto.com/zsolt_nuylaszi
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 2

3. The Best Business Writing Is…
Purposeful
Persuasive
Economical
Audience oriented
Following a process can make you a better writer or speaker.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 3

4. The Writing Process
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 4

5. Approximately how much time should be spent at each stage?
25%
25%
50%
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 5

6. Phase 1 of the Writing Process
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 6

7. Phase 1: Analyzing Analyze your audience and your purpose for writing.
To whom are you writing?
Why are you writing?
What do you hope to achieve?
What channel is best for delivering your message?
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 7

8. Selecting the Best Channel
Text message
Social media
Instant message
Letter/Memo
Report
Telephone
Voice mail
Meeting
Conversation
Web site
Blog/Wiki
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 8

9. How to Select the Best Channel
How important is the message?
How much feedback and interactivity are required?
How fast do you need feedback?
Is a permanent record essential?
What is the cost of the channel?
How much formality do you desire?
How confidential or sensitive is the message?
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 9

10. Phase 1: Anticipating
Anticipate how your audience will react to your message.
What is your reader or listener like?
Will your audience be pleased, neutral, or displeased with your message?
JON FEINGERSH / ICONICA / GETTY IMAGES
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 10

11. Profiling the Audience
Primary Audience
Who is the primary reader?
What are my personal and professional relationships with that person?
What does the person know about the subject?
What kind of response should I expect?
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 11

12. Profiling the Audience
Secondary Audience
Who else might see or hear this message?
Are they different from the primary audience?
How must I reshape the message for the secondary audience?
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 12

13. Phase 1: Adapting
Create a message that will suit your task and audience.
Spotlight audience benefits.
Cultivate the “you” view.
Sound conversational but professional.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 13

14. Phase 1: Adapting
Create a message that will suit your task and audience.
Express yourself positively.
Choose courteous language.
Adopt bias-free language.
Use plain language and familiar words.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 14

15. Spotlighting Audience Benefits
Focus your statements on the audience, not the sender.
Poor:
Improved:
We are adopting a new health plan that we believe has many outstanding benefits.
You will enjoy total peace of mind with our affordable health plan that will meet all your needs.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 15

16. Spotlighting Audience Benefits
Poor:
Improved:
I have 15 different financial plans to offer my investors.
You have 15 financial plans from which to choose.
We require that all employees read and sign our Web use policy.
To use the Web professionally and safely, please read and sign our Web use policy.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 16

17. Cultivating the “You” View
Emphasize second-person pronouns (you/your) instead of first-person pronouns (I/we, us, our)
Poor:
You may begin making purchases on your new account in two weeks.
Improved:
Before we can allow you to purchase items on this new account, we must wait two weeks to complete our processing.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 17

18. Cultivating the “You” View
Poor:
Improved:
You can now purchase iPads at discounted prices.
We are now offering iPads at discounted prices.
We are pleased to announce that you have been approved to enroll in our leadership training program.
Congratulations! You have been selected to enter our leadership training program!
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 18

19. Sounding Conversational but Professional
Poor:
I’m happy to . . .
Improved:
The undersigned takes pleasure in . . .
It may be of some concern to you to learn that your online payment has been processed and your account has been credited for $250.
We’ve credited your account for $250.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 19

20. Levels of Language Use Unprofessional Conversational Formal Found in
Some comic strips and songs, some commercials, some conversations, some text and messages
Business messages, novels, most newspapers, and most magazines
Scientific writing, legal documents, scholarly books, formal essays, proclamations
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 20

21. Levels of Language Use Unprofessional Conversational Formal
Characterized by
Incorrect grammar, unpredictable sentence structure, inappropriate punctuation, slang, vulgarisms
Correct grammar and punctuation, conversational tone, simple sentence structure, familiar words
Correct grammar, serious tone, complex sentence structure, polysyllabic words
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 21

22. Levels of Language Use Unprofessional Conversational Formal Examples
wasted
nab
bad-mouth
dough, bread
stewed, plastered
I ain’t
ginormous
tight
ruined
catch
criticize
money
intoxicated, drunk
I’m not
enormous
frugal
annihilated
apprehend
disparage
currency
inebriated
I am not
prodigious
penurious
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 22

23. Sounding Conversational but Professional
Poor:
Improved:
The undersigned takes pleasure in welcoming you to our staff.
I’m happy to welcome you to our staff.
Per your request, we are sending under separate cover your May invoice.
As you requested, we are sending your May invoice separately.
BTW, ur presentation 2day was Gr8!
Your presentation today was great.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 23

24. Expressing Yourself Positively
Poor:
Employees must use the Market Street entrance during remodeling.
Improved:
Employees may not use the First Street entrance during remodeling.
We cannot fill your order until we receive an exact model number.
We can fill your order once we receive an exact model number.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 24

25. Expressing Yourself Positively
Poor:
Improved:
You will be paid promptly once the job is completed satisfactorily.
We must withhold payment until you complete the job satisfactorily.
If you fail to follow each requirement, you will not receive your $50 rebate.
By following each requirement, you will receive your $50 rebate.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 25

26. Hidden Messages
Some words and phrases convey a negative and unpleasant tone. They may imply a hidden message that the writer does not intend. Think twice before using the following negative expressions.
Negative Language
You failed to
You claim that
You are wrong
You do not understand
Hidden Message
You are careless
But I don’t believe you
I am right
You are not smart
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 26

27. Choosing Courteous Language
Avoid sounding demanding, preachy, or rude.
Poor:
Improved:
Will you please complete this research by June 1.
You must complete this research by June 1.
I am sick and tired of being the only one who cleans out the break room refrigerator!
Let’s develop a schedule so that we all share the duty of cleaning the break room refrigerator.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 27

28. Choosing Courteous Language
Poor:
Improved:
Please submit your expense report by Friday morning.
I must have your expense report by Friday morning.
Your idea for revising our return process is insane.
Your idea for revising our return process will probably not work.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 28

29. Adopting Bias-Free Language
Poor:
Have you called a salesperson?
Improved:
Have you called a salesman?
Every executive has his own office.
All executives have their own offices.
Every executive has an office.
All executives have offices.
Every executive has his or her own office.
This alternative is wordy and calls
attention to itself
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 29

30. Adopting Bias-Free Language
Poor:
Improved:
Many businessmen take the train to work.
Many businesspeople take the train to work.
Each teacher cast her vote.
All teachers cast their votes.
Marcello Luna is the new Latino accountant.
Marcello Luna is the new accountant.
We offer discounts to old people.
We offer discounts to seniors.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 30

31. Using Plain Language
Avoid federalese, bureaucratese, and inflated language.
Federalese: Each person to whom the request is herein addressed is henceforth solicited to submit, or to have his or her department representative submit, to the Department of Labor official described above, a comment on whether the proposed plan, in his or her considered view, meets the requirements of the 2012 law.
Simple Translation: Please comment on whether the proposed plan meets the requirements of the 2012 law.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 31

32. Using Familiar Words
Avoid long, difficult, and unfamiliar words. Use short, simple, and common words whenever possible.
Less familiar words
Simple alternatives
encounter
meet
extrapolate
project
obligatory
required
terminate
end
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 32

33. Using Plain Language Poor: Improved:
You may encounter difficulty in terminating the contract.
You may have difficulty ending the contract. OR: It may be difficult to end the contract.
As stipulated, we extrapolated the budget figures for two years.
As required, we projected the budget figures for two years.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 33

34. Using Plain Language and Familiar Words
Poor:
Improved:
Will you utilize workbooks during the obligatory training period?
Will you use workbooks during the required training period?
We anticipate that a majority of the alternative will be sufficiently fundamental to meet our requirements.
We expect that most of the choices will be sufficiently basic to meet our needs.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 34

35. --Steve Burnett The Burnett Group
“Regardless of the changes in technology, the market for well-crafted messages will always have an audience.”
--Steve Burnett The Burnett Group
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 35

36. END