1. Introduction
This presentation is being provided for staff who may be starting a veteran parent program to support FICare
The narrative on the slide notes is a guide to help you understand the content of the slides

2. Engaging Veteran Parents: in providing support in a group setting

3. What can a veteran parent offer
An ear
Understand parent perspective
Relate as a non-clinician
Methods of coping
Practical tips
Hope
An end to potential isolation
Provide insight to staff

4. Who are Veteran Parents
ARE NOT:
Medical experts
Psychologists
Cure all’s
Work horses
ARE
Listening ears
Crying shoulders
Resource centers
Guides
Confident
When to pass along to social worker or manager, identify who you are 4

5. What Veteran Parents need to know before getting started
Boundaries of peer support
Support is limited to shared common experience
Judicious use of self
Confidentiality
Member of inter-professional team

6. Parent group How? What? Who? Where? When?
The veteran parent may lead her/his own groups, specifically coordinating various activities that enhances support, I.e crafts, picture frame decorating, lunch/coffee, dad’s getting together. Otherwise it is best to co-lead a group with a staff person, they provide the information and you share your experience i.e. discharge planning.
Therefore what information, pamphlets, where, in the NICU, in a classroom, parent lounge, best time of day, and how to connect and ensure parents are aware and able to participate.
The support offered is based on the parent’s experience of having an infant in the hospital and following discharge. (The veteran parent does not replace the role of staff). .

7. “Check-in” before a group session
Ask the team leader, social worker or ward clerk about any red flags, major changes or losses
Only that might relate to you
If possible, check the patient board and patient list
Checking in with co leader for any red flags . Changes in situations, background information that maybe relevant to group, i.e. loss of a twin 7

8. How to encourage parents to participate
Do “parent check-in rounds” when you first get to the unit.
Inform parents of the group topic, location and food
Do a second “sweep” 15 minutes before start time to remind them 8

9. When to approach at the bedside
When parents are not engaged with the medical team
When parents are not busy with their baby
When parents make eye contact and are open; watch body language
Timing is everything, watch body language. 9

10. How to develop a relationship in a group setting
Take a moment and release all personal issues
Define your role
State how you can help
State when you are available
Assure confidentiality

11. Participating in a session
Your qualifications are your experience and your ability to listen
Remember this is not about you
Do NOT give false hope or say “don’t worry”
Use your experience and support as it relates to the parents participating in the group

12. How to briefly introduce yourself
My name is _____. I am a veteran parent. I had a baby in here ___long ago, now I’m here on ____days to help support parents because place can be pretty overwhelming! I know when I was in here I felt it really helped me when I talked to other parents who had been through it before and to also go to groups for support and information.
Introductions in group: Your story as it pertains to the families in front of you
Do you have any questions I can help you with?

13. How to do introductions and “read” the room
Start each session with introductions around the circle
as much you are willing to share
Assure them they can leave at anytime
Make sure parents feel involved and heard
Be aware of feelings
Repeat names ,make sure parents are heard , don’t let one parent dominate, shift the focus, : I know when I was in here I felt so guilty or scared etc , does anyone else feel that way. 13

14. What are the roadblocks to communication
Advising
Judging
Reassuring
Avoiding change
Asking too many questions
Veteran parents should never advise, judge, reassure, ask too many questions. Listen, support, provide kindness. Provide EMPATHY & UNDERSTANDING 14

15. What language works best
Watch clarity and speed with which you speak
Watch the balance between providing information and allowing others to share
Use positive encouraging compliments
Use appropriate language 15

16. How to co-lead a group Make eye contact with co-leader Listen
Provide balance
Provide your insight: I felt scared, guilty, exhausted etc. when I was in here
Steer away from negative conversation
The first few sessions are learning curves, listen more and watch the group dynamic. Having a co-leader bring you into the conversation helps i.e.: how was that for you when you were here ?
Groups are often co-lead with a NICU health care professional. In some cases, very experienced veteran parents may lead a parent group on their own with the support and guidance of a NICU health care professional. Good examples include: Parenting your baby in the NICU, Taking your baby home, and The first few months at home, Coping in the NICU etc. The health care professional should be present at least at the start of the program to help set up and introduce the veteran parent. 16

17. How to wrap up a group session
Give a 10 minute warning before ending
Allow time after group for one-on-one
Thank them for coming and sharing
Clean up the room, offer extra food to parents/staff

18. How to debrief post group
Connect with the co-leader after group during clean up when parents have gone
What worked and what did not
Ask any questions
Give your feedback then or via
Share your comfort level with the session

19. The most important piece a Veteran Parent can provide is HOPE!

20. Coordinators responsibilities to Veteran Parents
Provide post/pre-debrief
Inform of red flags: losses, social issues
Beginning sessions - have a topic, i.e. d/c planning, participate until they get comfortable
Follow-up via , give feedback
Provide ongoing support; check-in, clarify what was done if a Mom was upset
Thanks and acknowledgement
Provide paid parking

21. Staff acceptance is important!
Veteran parents need:
To feel they are part of the team
To be given feedback
Debrief after a group session
Its not easy to come back to the unit, It is also hard to know if you are doing the right things if you are not a trained professional. Give feedback, debrief, encourage and be open to new ideas for groups.

22. Veteran parent tips when engaging with NICU parents
Train and role play with the social worker ahead of time
Listen
Smile and make eye contact
Give generic but genuine compliments
Refer to baby by name & correct gender
Give hope, give your truth, but don’t give promises
Use appropriate language
Don’t judge
Do not provide medical information
Understand you can’t fix, but you can listen
Create a safe environment to share experiences