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Revision! We are revising three aspects of our essays today:

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1 Revision! We are revising three aspects of our essays today:
Topic Sentences Transitions Sentence Variety

2 Topic Sentences Topic sentences are the first sentence in each body paragraph (symptoms, causes and cures). When someone reads your topic sentence, they should know what your paragraph is about. Example There are currently no cures for Clumsitosis, except for one, which is death, but there are some ways to slow down the effects and mostly get rid of them. For example, participating in sports like ballet and other forms of dance can help to lessen the effects of the disease. Also becoming a princess, prince, or somebody of nobility can help. If you have the mild case of Clumsitosis for less than two years, then you can still grow out of it naturally. Unfortunately, if you’ve had Clumsitosis for more than two years you are stuck with the disease until you die.

3 Practice! Read each paragraph, then write a topic sentence for each one. _______________________________________________________ She sings in her school’s chorus and plays flute in the band. She also takes piano and dance lessons. On top of all this, Jenna is teaching herself how to play the guitar. _______________________________________________________ You might end up with small, black spots all over your skin, morning nausea, fits of coughing or sneezing, and headaches. The symptoms of Autotractosis typically last about two weeks, but this time can be reduced with antibiotics.

4 Transitions Good writers use transitions to clarify the relationship between the ideas in their writing. Transitions may appear at the beginning or end of paragraph to make a connection between paragraphs, but they may also appear within a paragraph. Example Dialectis has two stages, one more severe than the other, but both cause the same reactions. First, you become sickly pale within the first thirty minutes to an hour after catching or getting dialectis. Then your tongue slowly starts to swell, and it becomes increasingly harder to talk and breathe. You lastly catch a fever. Dialectis is fairly easy to deal with and doesn’t leave any permanent damage, but if left untreated, dialectis can progress to Stage 2. Stage 2 dialectis is highly contagious and instead of a moderate fever you instead get a high fever. This only happens if dialectis is left untreated for about a week. These symptoms are caused by bacteria in insect bites, but can also be contracted from an infected individual.

5 Practice! Add transitions to clarify the relationship between ideas. The exact cause of Autotractosis is unknown, but a number of risk factors have been found. _____ genes play a role in developing Autotractosis. _____ people who spend more time indoors are more likely to get it. ____ if you spend a lot of time using technology such as cell phones, computers, tablets, video games or television, you are at an increased risk. _____________ Fortunately, there is a cure for Autotractosis as well as treatment options for recovering from the symptoms of the disease.

6 Sentence Variety Successful writers use a combination of different types of sentences. There are 4 types of sentence structures, and your article should have examples of all 4: Giorgio writes for the school newspaper. (simple) Tyrel enjoys baseball, but his sister likes volleyball. (compound) When lightning struck a pole on our street, the whole neighborhood lost power. (complex) Because it was spring break, Mrs. Jones did not assign homework, but she encouraged her student to continue reading their novels. (compound-complex)

7 Practice! Combine, reword, or reorganize the sentences in this paragraph to add variety. After school, Eric hurried home. He finished his homework. He fed the cat. Then he had to call his mom. He talked on the phone with his mom for 20 minutes. She said she wouldn’t be home until late. He was going to have to make dinner for himself again. He took a box of pasta out of the cupboard. He boiled the noodles. Then he warmed up the pasta sauce. He wanted meatballs, but they didn’t have any. After dinner, he packed his bag for the next day. Then he watched some TV before bed.


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