1. Love – Who and How? Marriage – Who and How?
Reading assignment for Mon March 31:
“5 things guys love to hear” from MSN.com
Reading assignment for Wed April 3:
Older woman – younger man

2. Love as a process of exchange
Exchange between socially matched partners (propinquity and homophily)
Physical characteristics - attractiveness
Personality
Skills
Wealth
Proximity
The “value” of the partner must be approximately equal.
The subjective value of what each partner has to offer to the other

3. Properties that are valued by women
Provider-protector
Women are, on average more dependent on marriage than men
Companion
Long term relationship
Attractiveness

4. How do women manage to “fall in love” with the right guy
Emotion work
The process of aligning one’s emotions with the dictates of the situation

5. Properties that are valued by men
Potentially satisfactory sexual partner
Low level of need for long term commitment
Attractiveness
Men can afford “love at first sight”
Care-taker
Men expect certain returns to their economic support
Economic potential is not as important because of the expected roles in a relationship

6. Preferences – research on personal ads
Female preferences – from women’s ads
Financially secure
Affluent
Professional
Successful
Male preferences – from men’s ads
Attractive
Slender
Petite
Sexy
Full figure

7. Erich Goode’s research
Placed 4 ads in 4 papers
Beautiful, shapely, slender blonde, 5 ft 7 in, waitress, 30. ISO a man for lasting relationship. (668 responses; 160 per ad)
Successful woman lawyer, intelligent, financially secure, 30, average appearance. ISO man for lasting relationship. (240 responses; 60per ad)
Handsome, athletic single male, broad shoulders, 6ft, 32, cab driver. ISO woman for lasting relationship. (15 responses, 4 per ad)
Successful, financially secure, intelligent, single male, attorney, 32, average looking. ISO women for lasting relationship. (64 responses, 16 per ad)
Men respond to multiple ads

8. Formal reading available
Marriage Markets
Formal reading available

9. Why do people date? Stated reasons: Actual reasons:
To get to know a person
To find out if a person is a suitable “match”
Actual reasons:
Short term relationships: ?
Long term relationships:?

10. Dating as a process of participating in the romantic markets
The idea of a marriage market
Search for a potential spouse
Negotiations for exchanges
Dissolution of attempted exchanges
Leads to an accurate assessment of one’s resources and opportunities

11. Marriage Market Similar to a labor market
Matching people to jobs
Similar to a commodity market
Supply of goods
Demand of goods
Preferences for goods
Resources one has to purchase goods

12. Marriage Market Supply Preferences Resources
Available men/women
Preferences
What do I want in a partner
Resources
What do I have that a partner may want
What will happen if preferences and resources are incompatible?

13. Supply In general husbands are older than wives
Historical reasons  maximize fertility
Cultural reasons  Value of youth for attractiveness
Changing norms: In the US ¼ of brides are older than grooms
Supply problem for aberrant generations
Baby boom

14. Resources Social status Wealth and future wealth
Personal attractiveness
Some personality characteristics

15. Operation of the marriage market
It is a process of matching preferences and resources
Relationships tend to be most rewarding when resources of the two individuals match most closely
Stability of the relationship
Faithfulness of the partners
Mutual attentiveness of the partners
Everyone goes through the operations of the marriage markets
Uncertainties of the market make the process anxiety provoking

16. Search process: dating
To 1900: Courtship
After 1900: Dating
Historical conditions in the US (immigration, urbanization)
Changes in the dynamics of the “search” process
Male control
Gender specific roles
After 1970: End of dating as a formal “search” process
Preservation of the “search” process leading to short-term relationships

17. HOW DO WE DATE? WHAT DO WE DO WHEN WE DATE?