1. How to Have a Reconciling (LGBTQ+) Conversation at Your Church
Presenter: Trish Gunby, a United Methodist who likes to talk

2. Welcome Learn something about me Get to know one another
Find someone you don’t know and ask, “Why are you here today?”
Share what you heard

3. A prayer Lord, our prayer is pretty simple. We’re here to hear You.
We know You’re in our midst, in this room.
Help us to be open to learning new ways to listen to each other.

4. That sounds so simple, and yet, our history tells us it is not.
Sometimes we talk over one another louder and louder.
We can’t wait to tell our side, our opinion, how we’re “right.”

5. So to find common ground, we’ll start by acknowledging You are our Creator and we are Your creation.
We are gathered in Your name to make disciples for Jesus Christ, Your son.
Help us to do that in a way that makes You smile down on us.
We ask this in Your name. Amen.

6. Takeaways from Today’s Workshop
To gain some insight and perspective on how we got where we are
To look back at some historical moments in the life of the UMC
To understand the Incompatibility Statement and Chargeable Offenses

7. To prepare for what the Commission on a Way Forward asks us to do
To learn ways to start the conversation in your church

8. Let’s go way back When humans were living in caves
Life-preserving means to feel safe
Development of a clan mentality
“Considerable evidence that social species develop mechanisms to aid in identifying and evaluating kin, in-group members and individuals otherwise relevant to one’s survival” (Journal Neuroscience)

9. More recent history There’s movement across continents
Not to learn more, but to expand empires
Acquire insight and knowledge about other people and their cultures
Still a lingering, ever-present fear of “the Other”

10. “Your Opinion Is Set in Stone”
“As new information emerges (on both sides), we ought to move, however fitfully, toward consensus. But we don’t. Unfortunately, people do not always revise their beliefs in light of new information. On the contrary, they often stubbornly maintain their views. Certain disagreements stay entrenched and polarized.”
(Tappin, Van Der Leer, McKay; NY Times)

11. Fear of “the Other”
“That irrational fear of the Other, a fear whose roots lie in our evolutionary past, is the unconscious choice to move backwards, to regress rather than progress, along the continuum of human insight and knowledge. It’s a folding inwards into a clan mentality rather than a reaching outwards into a universal mentality.”
(Michael Schreiner, Existential Psychology)

12. Fear of the Other: No Fear in Love by Bishop William H. Willimon
“…keeping and loving ‘the Other’ as they are…”

13. Historical perspective and “the Others”
United States society
United Methodist Church
Slavery and start of Civil War
Continued racial strife and U.S. government begins to segregate housing
Women’s rights and feminism
1844 – split into MEC and MEC South
1907 – Methodist Federation for Social Action
1939 – merger of both MEC’s HOWEVER African-American congregations were separated into the Central Jurisdiction
1956 – women are ordained

14. Historical perspective (continued)
United States society
United Methodist Church
Sex, drugs, rock ‘n roll and the Vietnam War
1962 – Council on Religion and Homosexuality created
1967 – Good News Movement started
1968 – merger to become the UMC and formation of the Methodist Student Movement

15. Historical perspective (continued)
United States society
United Methodist Church
Stonewall Rebellion in NYC
Formation of Human Rights Campaign
1972 – GC affirmed equal rights for homosexuals, but was “incompatible with Christian teaching”
1975 – Gay United Methodists (GUM)
1982 – Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Concerns
1984 – Reconciling Congregations Program

16. Historical perspective (continued)
United States society
United Methodist Church
AIDs epidemic
1988 – Transforming Congregations Program
1992 – Homosexual Study Committee
1992 – The Confessing Movement
2000 – Reconciling Ministries Network

17. Historical perspective (continued)
United States society
United Methodist Church
Growth of LGBTQ+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer) groups
Pride parades
LGBTQ+ portrayal in television and movies
Court cases involving Boy Scouts, discrimination against LGBT persons in the workplace, same- sex marriage
2016 – Formation of Commission on a Way Forward and the Wesleyan Covenant Association
2019 – Called General Conference session in St. Louis

18. The Traditional Voice
The Good News Movement
The Confessing Movement
The Wesleyan Covenant Assn.
Evangelical witness
Agent of reform
Catalyst for renewal
Orthodox Wesleyan Christianity
Doctrinal purity
Authority of Scripture
Faithful and connected
The Progressive Voice
Reconciling Ministries Network
Love Your Neighbor Coalition
Affirmation
Wesleyan practice of personal holiness and social justice
Full expression of Christ’s inclusive love
Diversity
Reconciliation
Sexual orientation and gender identity (vs. “all”)

19. The Incompatibility Statement
Lifted out of context from Paragraph 161.f of the United Methodist Social Principles
“The United Methodist Church does not condone the practice of homosexuality and considers this practice incompatible with Christian teaching.”

20. “We affirm that God’s grace is available to all
“We affirm that God’s grace is available to all. We will seek to live together in Christian community, welcoming, forgiving, and loving one another, as Christ has loved and accepted us. We implore families and churches not to reject or condemn lesbian and gay members and friends. We commit ourselves to be in ministry for and with all persons.”

21. Chargeable Offenses
Lifted from Paragraph 2702 of the United Methodist Social Principles
“A bishop, clergy member of an annual conference, local pastor, clergy on honorable or administrative location, or diaconal minister may be tried when charged with one or more of the following offenses...

22. …(b) practices declared by The United Methodist Church to be incompatible with Christian teachings, including but not limited to: being a self-avowed practicing homosexual; or conducting ceremonies which celebrate homosexual unions; or performing same-sex wedding ceremonies;…” *
* Note: Does not address transgender persons.

23. “A Church Divided” General Conference 2012
Is homosexuality compatible with Christianity? This question is debated fiercely in “A Church Divided,” a television documentary that follows California delegates to the United Methodist Church's General Conference in Tampa, FL.

24. Courageous Conversation
Moves people from skepticism to curiosity on to openness to encounter God’s grace
Moves us past our fear of “the Other” to come to the table with them
Makes us open to God’s voice in others by taking a posture of listening
* Pamphlet from Leadership Ministries of the UMC

25. Debate Dialogue Winning Combative One right answer Closed Flaws
Short-term
From Diversity Awareness Partnership
Learning
Collaborative
Solutions together
Open
Strengths
Long-term

26. Commission on a Way Forward
Proposed by the Council of Bishops and approved by the 2016 General Conference
There are 32 members (Did you know Bishop Schnase is one?)
Deeply committed to the future(s) of the UMC

27. Vision
Commission on a Way Forward will design a way
for being church that maximizes the presence of a UM witness in as many places in the world as possible,
that allows for as much contextual differentiation as possible,
and that balances an approach to different theological understandings of human sexuality with a desire for as much unity as possible.

28. Vision (continued)
This unity will not be grounded in our conceptions of human sexuality, but in our affirmation of the Triune God who calls us to be a grace-filled and holy people in the Wesleyan tradition.

29. Continuous process of discernment 2019 and beyond
Clergy
Board/Council
Town Halls
Small Groups
One-on-One
Take this information back to your church
Meet with Clergy and/or Board/Council
Share this information in a larger group setting like a town hall
Meet with smaller groups like UMM, UMW, Sunday school classes, etc.
Schedule individual meetings

30. Eight Principles of Holy Conferencing
Every person is a child of God.
Listen before speaking.
Strive to understand from another’s point of view.
4. Strive to reflect accurately the views of others.

31. 5. Disagree without being disagreeable.
6. Speak about issues; do not defame people.
7. Pray, in silence or aloud, before decisions.
8. Let prayer interrupt your busy-ness.

32. The Thoughtful Christian Homosexuality: United Methodists at the Crossroads

33. In this study Christians will learn about the current debate within the United Methodist Church regarding homosexuality and same-sex marriage.
Readers will be asked to consider both sides of the ongoing debate (the Traditional voice and the Progressive voice) before forming their own decision on the topic.

34. The study includes a Participant's Handout and a Leader's Guide featuring:
Small group discussion questions
Prayers
Suggested Scripture
A closing hymn and more!
Nominal cost online

35. While you’re in discernment
Read books about both sides of the issue
Visit web sites and Facebook pages of differing opinions
Attend workshops on diversity and inclusion to develop an understanding of LGBTQ+ persons
Engage with “the Other” – grab a cup of coffee
Host a “living room conversation”
Pray

36. My contact info
Trish Gunby
Manchester UMC – St. Louis area

37. Thanks for being courageous!