1. Presentation to the American Anthropological Association
How the Bough Bends: The Creation of Family, Kinship and Community by Users of Donated Gametes
Leanna Wolfe, Ph.D.
Presentation to the American Anthropological Association
November 15, 2006

2. Who Uses Donated Gametes?
Single Mothers by Choice (SMCs
17% rise in babies born to unmarried women between
Lesbian Couples
Families with Fertility Issues
donor sperm
donor eggs
donor embryos

3. The Gamete Donation Business
Sperm Banks
California Cryobank shipped 9,600 vials of sperm to single women in 2005.
Egg Donor Agencies
$8,000 fees are typical
Surrogate Mothers
Gestational Surrogates

4. Research Methods Participant Observation Online Support Groups
Infertility Conferences
In-Person Support Groups
Interviews
Surveys

5. What Gamete Recipients Seek
Intelligence
Personality
Sperm Donors--sense of humor
Egg Donors--goals
Genetics
Phenotype Matches
Open vs Anonymous
Full Legal Rights

6. Sperm Recipients vs Egg Recipients
Single Mothers by Choice
Body is Normal; Life is Abnormal
If Fertility Challenges; Life and Body both feel Abnormal
Mothers through Egg Donation
Life is Normal; Body is Abnormal and for some, Intensely Abnormal

7. Single Mother by Choice Profile
Late 20s through mid 40s
Highly Educated with Professional Career
Often Financially Secure
Fiercely Independent
Family Revolutionaries
Clear distinction between themselves and women who become single mothers through divorce or by accident
Biotime Clock Pressure
Baby First; Marriage Maybe

8. SMC Process (part I) Thinking
No more time to wait for Mr. Right
Implications of an SMC Identity
Networking/Support Groups
Finances
Personal Support System
Let Go of the Western Cultural Dream of Parenting with a Beloved Husband

9. I’ve faced that I’m not going to have this picket-fence-y life…now I have permission to directly pursue what I want. It’s a very curious and ambivalent liberation, because I would rather not be single. It’s not my first choice.
TTC Choice Mother

10. SMC Process (part II) (Separation)
Trying to Conceive (TTC)
Scheduled Inseminations
2 week wait
Fertility Boosters
IUI, IVF, hormone regimens
Many were unaware how fragile female fertility is
Deciding on a Donor
Anonymous vs. Open
Dream Guy vs. Similar Phenotype to Herself
Sperm Bank vs. Private Arrangement

11. When it came to donor selection,
I found it almost as difficult as selecting
a husband, but was thankfully more
successful at it. It was a fascinating
process in that the package of traits I
focussed on were different from those I
looked at on a date or in a relationship.
Choice Mother of a one year old child

12. My very first consideration for choosing a donor was that he be “open” or willing to meet my child after he or she turns 18…. Intelligence was a huge factor as well. I have a lot of my own identity wrapped up in intelligence and really want the same for my child.
TTC Choice Mother

13. I weighed phenotype pretty heavily until I realized that there was not an unlimited catalogue of donors from which to choose. Then I went with intelligence and personality.
Choice Mother of two children

14. SMC Process (part III) (liminal phase)
Pregnancy
Fear
Begin incorporating New Identity
Start Building Support System
Social, Physical, Emotional
May Stop Dating
Shift in expectations from relationships with men

15. SMC Process (part IV) (re-incorporation)
Birth
Parenting
Allomothers and Daddies
Support Systems
Blood Family
Other SMCs
Extended Family via Donor Sibling Registry
Networks can be akin to a polygynous family without the financial support or physical presence of the progenitor/father.

17. Its exceptionally important that my son know other children who are “like him” so that he does not feel like an anomaly. I have found that having a child on my own has made him something of a community baby….unlike married couples who want/expect privacy on these issues.
Choice Mother of a one year old child

19. Egg Recipient Profile Married/Nuclear Family 30s-early 50s
some SMCs
30s-early 50s
Fertility Problems
often age-related
unsuccessful with IUI/IVF treatments
Very much want children OR siblings for their birth children

20. Egg Recipient Process (part I)
Thinking
Acceptability of Non-Genetic Connection to child?
Costs? Very Expensive
Donor Fees, Lab Fees, Limited Insurance Coverage
Tell Others? Keep Secret?
Compare to Adoption
More control over prenatal environment
Health Considerations
for both mother and babies

21. Egg Recipient Process (part II) (separation)
Trying to Conceive
Selecting a Donor
Protocols
Sync up recipient and donors menstrual cycles
IVF process for donor
Uterine prep process for recipient
Transfer
2 week wait

22. Most Important Egg Donor Qualities

23. Desired Egg Donor Qualities

24. infertility issues… It all worked out in the
Regarding Race/Ethnicity, we wanted someone who blended well with us…they didn’t have to match me! I had no interest in telling the general public about our
infertility issues… It all worked out in the
end, I went with my gut and I wasn’t wrong.
DE Mother

25. One of the things that “spoke” to me about her was a photo
One of the things that “spoke” to me about her was a photo. She had an expression that could have been me in college. She didn’t look like me. She was no clone. But something in that expression spoke to me.
DE Mother of two children

26. We mainly looked at her smile. That was huge. She seemed to love life
Expectant DE Mother

27. Egg Recipient Process (part III) (liminal phase)
Pregnancy
Often Difficult
Miscarriages
embryos that might otherwise have never implanted
Premature Births
Multiples
anxiety over carrying/raising twins+

28. Egg Recipient Process (part IV) (re-incorporation)
Birth
C-sections common
Immediate Love for the Baby
Babies treated w/extreme care & devotion
Postpartum Depression Rare
Very relieved to finally become a Mother
Parenting
Join the world of “normal” parents

29. Conclusions
Gamete seekers focus on intelligence, personality and phenotype
Seek “normal” gametes to create “normal” families
Family/Community Revolutionaries?
Donor Sibling Registry
DE support through conception process but little interest in social networking for parenting.
New Definitions of Family and Community