1. Introductions, Conclusions, & Thesis Statements
Writing Wednesday
Introductions, Conclusions, & Thesis Statements

2. Introductions Example: Function/role of myth
Heroes in myth & civilization
Heroes in Greek mythology
Homer’s Odyssey
Thesis: Odysseus as a flawed hero in Homer’s Odyssey.
GENERAL: society/broad
SPECIFIC: thesis statement

3. Introductions Cont. Roughly 5 - 7 sentences for “healthy” intro.
Intro. Checklist:
Must include title, genre, & author (BEFORE you actually allude to text!); remember to italicize the titles of longer works when typing or underline if essay is handwritten or put the titles of shorter texts in quotations
Thesis statement at the end
NEVER begin intro. w/mention of text
NOT a summary of the book! (or your essay)
No quotes from the text
Begins with a broad hook statement that “hooks” the reader’s attention/interest; avoid trite “hooks” (not no hooks at all, just not clichéd hooks), such as rhetorical questions, onomatopoeia exclamations, definitions, & quotes
Let diction, voice, & purpose be the “hook”; hooks suggest the tempo of the writing (how it will move along) and the tone (the writer’s attitude, stance, or bias)
Introduce the subject or a situation which the writer will develop
Focus & limit a subject; make a general reference to the topic
Indicate the writer’s intention or direction for writing: persuasion, how-to, argument, etc.
“avoid” is different than “never”

4. Sample Intro. Paragraph
Humans are undoubtedly social beings; they depend on one another and thrive upon interaction. People are not meant to be alone, and isolation often leads to negative consequences, ranging from depression and anger, to desperation and even violence. This was particularly true during the Depression plagued 1930s, an era author John Steinbeck analyzes in his many novels. In his short but striking novella, Of Mice and Men, Steinbeck reveals the dreadful effects of loneliness on the human condition through his flawed and rejected characters.

5. Conclusions Converse of Intro:
Akin to intro, healthy conclusions are roughly sentences
Leaves readers with your voice & purpose - finish strong!
Never write, “In conclusion” or ANYTHING that sounds like it
No quotes/summary/book review; all opinion!
Begins with restated, extended thesis in fresh language
Ties up loose ends (ties points together) & gives finished feeling to paper
Ends with broad statement (what is the universal idea?); extends the paper’s scope & expands on the paper’s significance to leave the reader with a powerful final thought, such as suggesting a course of action (what the reader can do with the information learned from the paper) or leaving the reader with a new, relevant idea to consider (challenging the reader to examine his/her own thoughts/ideas about the subject); go beyond the world of the text to discuss the larger world
-Examples: plea for help, solution to a problem, prediction, warning, lesson
Converse of Intro:
Restatement of thesis (in different words)
Broad/reference to society; gives essay PURPOSE

6. Sample Conclusion
J.D. Salinger explores the various locations in New York where Holden discovers refuge, revealing Holden’s desperation to live in an idealistic world full of innocence and virtue. While the security of these places comforts Holden, he fails to comprehend that reality cannot mirror the assurance of immobility that these treasured memories possess. Holden’s valiant attempt to combat the maturation process only leaves him disappointed with the shortcomings of reality. Despite Holden’s effort to resist, progress is inevitable and the world will continue to change with time. As an adolescent learns how to weather this progress with grace and perseverance, he truly grows into a man.

7. Thesis Statements
Sentence (or two) that tells the reader what the essay is about/what to expect; focus of the entire paper; states the reason for the paper
Remember to refer/connect back to your thesis THROUGHOUT your paper!
“Tip of triangle” because it is specific! Ask yourself questions like “who,” “what,” “why,” & “how”
Should be last sentence(s) of intro. ¶
Theses need “prewriting”
Start basic so you have a clear idea what your paper will be about
Then re-word it and formalize it; adding details if necessary
Does more than tell what the paper will be about; it reveals how well it will be written

8. Elements of a Thesis 3 Main Components: 1: Subject/Topic
2: Commentary/Opinion/Assertion/
Argument
Very important & often left out
Must go beyond the obvious
Must be able to be supported/defended
Theses lacking commentary usually precede entire essays lacking commentary
Includes significance/scope: bigger picture/larger importance, i.e. author’s message/purpose/point/philosophical position; ask yourself, “So what?”
3: Proof you plan to use to prove thesis
Not always necessary, but helps you stay organized.
Include WITHOUT “essay mapping”
e.g.- DO NOT “list” paragraph topics; instead, find a phrase or term than unifies them all: Don’t have one? That’s a problem….

9. Thesis Checklist
Do I answer the question/prompt? Re-reading the question prompt after constructing a working thesis can help you fix an argument that misses the focus of the question.
Have I taken a position that others might challenge or oppose? If not, then you probably do not have a strong argument. Theses that are too vague often have this problem. If your thesis contains vague words like "good" or "successful", see if you could be more specific: why is this something "good"; what makes something "successful"?
Does my thesis pass the "So What?" test? Ask whether your thesis presents a position or an interpretation worth pursuing. If a reader's first response is "so what?" then you need to clarify, to forge a relationship, or to connect to a larger issue. Once a reader says, "this argument has the potential to broaden my understanding of the significance of this topic," then you have successfully passed this test.
Does my thesis pass the "how and why?" test? If a reader's first response is "how?" or "why?" your thesis may be too open-ended and lack guidance for the reader. See what you can add to give the reader a better take on your position right from the beginning.
Does my essay support my thesis specifically and without wandering? Just as a thesis that doesn't answer the question ultimately fails, so does a thesis that isn't properly supported with evidence and reasoning. If your thesis and the body of your essay do not seem to go together, one of them has to change. Generally, this means revising your thesis to capture more precisely the argument in your paper. Remember, always reassess and revise your writing as necessary.
Is my thesis statement specific enough? Thesis statements that are too vague often do not have a strong argument. If your thesis contains words like "good" or "successful," see if you could be more specific: why is something "good"; what specifically makes something "successful"?

10. Thesis Pitfalls
Avoid broad statements. A thesis too broad will force the writer into a vague, superficial discussion that will never satisfy a reader because it will never get beyond statements of the obvious. Example: The role of women has changed drastically in the last fifty years. (Fifty years is a long time; to discuss in depth all the changes in that time span would require more pages than the typical essay.) Better: The leadership role of women in state politics has changed drastically in the last fifty years.
Avoid stating two opinions. A thesis with two opinions will force you to write about too much and likely read to a superficial treatment of both opinions, which your reader will find unsatisfying. Instead, aim for an in-depth treatment of one opinion. Example: Divorce would be less traumatic if custody laws were revised and if attorneys counseled their clients more carefully. Better: Divorce would be less traumatic if attorneys counseled their clients more carefully. Better: Divorce would be less traumatic if custody laws were revised.
Avoid factual statements – remember, you are trying to prove something with your thesis! Factual statements leave you, the writer, with nothing to say. Example: The water department is considering a rate increase. (yawn) Better: The water department's proposed rate increase is unnecessary.
Avoid an announcement. Example: I will explain why our board of education should consider magnet schools. Better: Our board of education should consider magnet schools. The next paragraphs will present the reasons why Americans value youth. Better: Americans value youth for surprising reasons. (a bit vague, but not an announcement)
Avoid expressions such as "in my opinion," "I believe," "I think," and "it seems to me." YOU are writing the paper, so it is obvious that you're expressing what you think. Example: In my opinion, the Women's Center performs a valuable service on campus and deserves a budget renewal. Better: The Women's Center performs a valuable service on campus and deserves a budget renewal.
Avoid the thesis that states main points to be covered in your essay. This format is overly formulaic, constraining, and elementary. College professors will not accept the "3-prong" formula! Example: Working mothers have changed the character of the American family by contributing a second paycheck, by popularizing day care, and by creating a new division of labor in the home. (Note the parallelism in this sentence: each phrase begins the same.) Main points: the contribution of a second paycheck; the popularizing of day care; a new division of labor in the home (In this type of essay, you would dedicate a paragraph to each of these points. See the formula?)

11. Sample Theses
In his novel Of Mice and Men, John Steinbeck reveals the dreadful effects of loneliness on the human condition through his socially rejected, flawed characters.
Through its contrasting river and shore scenes, Mark Twain's novel The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn suggests that to find the true expression of American democratic ideals, one must leave civilized society and go back to nature.
In the enthralling epic poem The Iliad, Homer exposes the struggles Achilles faces as the warrior battles his inner demons and raging emotions; when Achilles experiences the humanizing effects of love, he realizes fame and glory are not as important as he once believed.
Note: you do not need to include title & author in thesis, as the above theses do.

12. Flawed Thesis Example:
In his novel, Of Mice and Men, Steinbeck’s characters are extremely lonely.
Does not go beyond stating the obvious
Lacks insightful commentary; thus, it lacks PURPOSE
Will lead to a paper that lacks commentary and leans heavily on summary & states the obvious.