1. Communication and Identity
Chapter topics
Communication and the Self
Presenting the Self: Communication as Identity Management
Self-Disclosure in Relationships
Alternatives to Self Disclosure

2. Communication and the Self
Self-Concept and Self-Esteem
Self-concept
The relatively stable set of perceptions you hold of yourself
Self-esteem
Evaluations of self-worth

3. Communication and the Self
Self-Concept and Self-Esteem
People with high self-esteem
Tend to think well of others
Expect to be accepted by others
High self-esteem doesn’t guarantee interpersonal success
Can be starting point for positive behaviors and interactions

4. Communication and the Self
Self-Concept and Self-Esteem
People with low self-esteem
Likely to disapprove of others
Expect to be rejected by others
Evaluate their own performance less favorably
Perform poorly when being watched
Feel threatened by people they view as superior
Have difficulty defending themselves against others’ negative comments

5. Communication and the Self
Self-Concept and Self-Esteem
Self-esteem and communication behavior
Figure 2.1

6. Communication and the Self
Biological and Social Roots to the Self
Biology and the self
Personality is part of our genetic makeup
Biology influenced traits; Disposition to certain attributes.
Personality is flexible, dynamic, shaped by experience

7. Communication and the Self
Socialization and the Self-Concept
Messages we receive from people in our lives play central role in shaping how we regard ourselves
Reflected Appraisal
Each of us develops a self-concept that reflects the way we believe others see us

8. Communication and the Self
Socialization and the Self-Concept
These principles continue in later life especially when messages come from significant others
Impact remains strong during adolescence
Inclusion in or exclusion from peer groups crucial factor

9. Communication and the Self
Socialization and the Self-Concept
Social Comparison
Evaluating ourselves in terms of how we compare with others
Two Types of Comparison
Superior or Inferior
Same or different from others
These comparisons depend on the reference groups we measure ourselves against
Significance depends on opinions of others

10. Communication and the Self
Characteristics of the Self-Concept
Distorted self-evaluations can occur
These distortions can be based on:
Obsolete information
Distorted feedback
Emphasis on perfection
Social expectations

11. Communication and the Self
The Self-Concept Resists Change
Cognitive conservatism
Tendency to seek and attend to information that conforms to existing self-concept
Tendency holds when new self-perception would be more favorable
Can accept new data and change perception or keep original perception and refute new information
Most communicators reluctant to downgrade favorable impression of themselves

12. Communication and the Self
The Self-Concept Resists Change
Suggestions for embracing a more positive self-image
Have a realistic perception of yourself
Have realistic expectations
Have the will to change
Have the skill to change

13. Communication and the Self
Culture, Gender, and Identity
Culture
Self shaped by culture in which we have been reared
Individualistic culture
Strong I orientation
Collectivistic culture
Maintaining harmony
Co-cultural identity

14. Communication and the Self
Culture, Gender, and Identity
Sex and gender
Being male or female shapes way others communicate with us and thus our sense of self
Self-esteem influenced by gender
Sense of self shaped strongly by people with whom we interact and contexts in which we communicate

15. Communication and the Self
The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy and Communication
Self-fulfilling prophecy
A person’s expectations and subsequent behavior make an event more likely to occur
Four stages of the self-fulfilling prophecy:
Holding an expectation (for yourself or others)
Behaving in accordance with that expectation
The expectation comes to pass
Reinforcing the original expectation

16. Communication and the Self
The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy and Communication
Types of self-fulfilling prophecies
Self-imposed prophecies
Prophecies imposed by others
Shown to be powerful force for shaping self-concept and thus behavior
Observer must do more than believe, must communicate belief

17. Communication as Identity Management
Public and Private Selves
Identity management
Communication strategies people use to influence how others view them
Perceived self
A reflection of the self concept
Presenting self
The way we want others to view us
Facework

18. Communication as Identity Management
Characteristics of Identity Management
We strive to construct multiple identities
Identity management is collaborative
Identity management can be deliberate or unconscious

19. Communication as Identity Management
Manage Identities?
Start and manage relationships
Gain compliance of others
Save the face of others
Explore new selves

20. Communication as Identity Management
Managing Identities in Person and Online
Face-to-face identity management
Managed in three ways
Manner
Words and nonverbal actions
Setting
Physical items we use to influence others
Appearance
Personal items we use to shape image

21. Communication as Identity Management
Managing Identities in Person and Online
Online impression management
What is missing in online communication can be an advantage
Gives us more control over managing impressions
Allows strangers to change age, etc.
Viewing online presence as neutral third party can be valuable exercise
Reputation management
Social media and identity - Facebook, Twitter, Instgram…

22. Communication as Identity Management
Identity Management and Honesty
Managing impressions doesn’t make you a liar
Each of us has a repertoire of faces
Being a competent communicator is choosing best face for the situation

23. Self-Disclosure in Relationships
Process of deliberately revealing information about oneself
Must be deliberate
Must be significant
Not known by others

24. Self-Disclosure in Relationships
Models of Self-Disclosure
Altman and Taylor – social penetration
Breadth of information being volunteered
Depth of information volunteered
Depending on breadth and depth, relationship can be casual or intimate
Measuring depth
Some revelations more significant

25. Self-Disclosure in Relationships
A Model of Self-Disclosure
Johari Window – developed in 1970 by sociologists Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham.

26. Self-Disclosure in Relationships
Models of Self-Disclosure
Luft and Ingham – Johari Window
Part I
Open area
Part II
Blind area
Part III
Hidden area
Part IV
Unknown area

27. Self-Disclosure in Relationships
Benefits and Risks of Self-Disclosure
Benefits
Catharsis
Getting something off your chest
Reciprocity
Self-disclosure usually begets another
There is no guarantee that disclosure will be reciprocal
Self-Clarification
Used to clarify your beliefs, opinions, thoughts
Can occur with hairdressers, bartenders or close friends

28. Self-Disclosure in Relationships
Benefits and Risks of Self-Disclosure
Benefits
Self-Validation
Disclosing information with the hope of obtaining the listener’s approval
Identity Management
Sometimes we reveal personal information to make ourselves more attractive
Relationship Maintenance and Enhancement
There is a strong relationship between the quality of self-disclosure and marital satisfaction

29. Self-Disclosure in Relationships
Benefits and Risks of Self-Disclosure
Benefits
Social Influence
Revealing personal information may increase your control over the other person and sometimes over the situation
The strongest factor in why we disclose seems to be how well we know the other person
With strangers, reciprocity becomes the most common reason for disclosing

30. Self-Disclosure in Relationships
Benefits and Risks of Self-Disclosure
Risks
Rejection
A: “I’m starting to think of you as more than a friend. To tell the truth, I love you.”
B: “I think we should stop seeing one another.”
Negative Impression
A: “I’ve been thinking that we should get another dog.”
B: “To tell you the truth, I really don’t like dogs. I haven’t said so before because I know how much you love them.”

31. Self-Disclosure in Relationships
Benefits and Risks of Self-Disclosure
Risks
Decrease in Relational Satisfaction
A: “I need to tell you something. I really don’t like it when you want to cuddle so much.”
B: “But I want to be close to you. . . “
Loss of Influence
A: “I’d like to give you the weekend off, but to tell you the truth, I don’t get to make any judgment calls around here. My boss makes all the decisions.”
B: “ I guess I know who to ask if I want anything done.”

32. Self-Disclosure in Relationships
Benefits and Risks of Self-Disclosure
Risks
Hurting the Other Person
A: “I’m so ugly! I can’t think of anything that will change the way I look.”
B: “Neither can I.”

33. Self-Disclosure in Relationships
Guidelines for Self-Disclosure
Do you have a moral obligation to disclose?
Is the other person important to you?
Are the amount and type of disclosures appropriate?
Is the risk of disclosing reasonable?
Is the disclosure relevant to the situation?
Will the effect be constructive?
Is the self-disclosure clear and understandable?
Is the self-disclosure reciprocated?

34. Alternatives to Self-Disclosure
Silence
Lying
To save face
To avoid tension or conflict
To guide social interaction
To expand or reduce relationships
To gain power

35. Alternatives to Self-Disclosure
Equivocating
Language that has two or more equally plausible meanings
A lazy worker: “You will be lucky to get this person to work for you.”
A person with no talent: “I recommend this candidate with no qualifications.”
A candidate who should not be hired: “Waste no time hiring this person.”

36. Alternatives to Self-Disclosure
Hinting
A hint aims to get a desired response
Direct Statement
“I’m too busy to continue with this conversation.”
Face-Saving Hint
“I know you’re busy; I better let you go.”
“Please don’t smoke in here because it’s bothering me.”
“I’m pretty sure that smoking isn’t permitted here.”

37. Alternatives to Self-Disclosure
The Ethics of Evasion
Times when we are not likely to challenge statements that we know are untrue:
When we expect the other to tell a fib
When the lie is mutually advantageous
When a lie helps us avoid embarrassment
When the lie helps us avoid confronting an unpleasant truth
When we have asked the other person to lie

38. Videos

39. Discussion Questions
What do you perceive to be the relational pros and cons of communicating with another through computer-mediated communication? Face-to-Face?
What do you envision to be the future of interpersonal relationships as we continue to develop our reliance on technology to communicate with one another?

40. Discussion Questions
How do you notice reciprocity of self-disclosure at work in your relationship?
What level of self-disclosure is appropriate in this relationship versus others?
What should we do when others are disclosing inappropriately to us?