1. HOW To assist our sons make good use of time

2. Introduction Time is a finite resource
Conflicting priorities and expectations for boys and parents of boys at this age.
The KCPE exam and its future consequences are clearer to adults than to teenagers.
Boys of ages 13 & 14 years are better placed in secondary school.
Introduction

3. Some characteristics of teenagers
Preference for peers over parents.
Try to belong to a group and find friendship there.
Want control over more aspects of their lives.
Excited about the possibilities of the future. Experimentation.
Frustrated over their weaknesses.
Notice and are attracted to girls.
Some characteristics of teenagers

4. Perception of an adult regarding leisure time
Less engaging but beneficial activities, e.g. reading, exercise, etc.
Time to relax and recoup from the rigours of life.
Spend time with family members and close friends.
Go out on holiday.
Perception of an adult regarding leisure time

5. PERCEPTION OF A TEENAGER REGARDING LEISURE TIME

6. PERCEPTION OF A TEENAGER REGARDING LEISURE TIME

7. It is their own time.
Time to be left alone.
Time to do nothing.
Time to release stress:
…stress oftentimes associated with school, with teachers, with assignments and with parents…

9. WHAT DEFINES THE TEEN’S SOCIAL AGENDA?
Peers.
Social media (image is everything). Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram, etc
Entertainment joints (Garden City Mall, Junction, Sarit, The Hub, etc)
Party organisers (peers, neighbours, older siblings, older friends, relatives living with you, etc)
WHAT DEFINES THE TEEN’S SOCIAL AGENDA?

10. Worrying trends… House parties with hidden agenda (sex, drugs, etc)
The malls as connection points.
Drugs especially weed/bhang/grass.
Day time parties and discos.
Content transmitted through social media; pictures, homework, etc.
Lack of awareness of their whereabouts/activities (locked doors)
Unmanaged youth groups and camps.

11. By striking a balance between the realisation that a teenager needs leisure time and ensuring that this is done in a manner that is not detrimental to the teenager.

12. STRIKING THE ELUSIVE BALANCE
Discuss leisure time with your sons.
Guide them in areas of strength and weakness.
Emphasize the need for sacrifice this year as candidates.
Voice your concerns.
Find helpful ways of relaxation.
Help them develop true ideals.
STRIKING THE ELUSIVE BALANCE

13. WHAT TO DO AS PARENTS?
Be aware of what is happening in society, the community, school {avoid the myth of nothing bad happens in a good school}, class, etc.
Know your neighbours.
Help them to use their free time constructively.
Teach them how to make decisions.
Help them to choose the right friends.

14. WHAT TO DO AS PARENTS? Help them to grow in human virtues, especially:
Prudence (ability to decipher right from wrong)
Fortitude (the strength of character to make right/tough choices)
Temperance (moderation of food, drink and other pleasures).
Will-power: teach them how to say No!

15. Reduce and control family social activities during this year.
Create with him a timetable that allocates enough study time and leisure time.
Ensure that he gets enough sleep… during the week and over weekends.
PRACTICAL TIPS:

16. Set targets for every exam.
Go through the report form and evaluate results with him and set new targets.
Agree on specifics: writing a composition every week, doing half a paper every weekend, studying for two hours every evening.
PRACTICAL TIPS:

17. Know your teenager.
Get to know his friends.
Set rights and privileges based on level of maturity and not just age.
Control amounts and usage of pocket money.
Talk to him a lot... about the ‘birds and the bees’; about being a man.
PRACTICAL TIPS:

18. Show genuine interest in him and his activities/ideas.
Spend time doing things together, especially father & son.
Mechanisms of checking that your son is where he is supposed to be.
The example of the parents counts…
PRACTICAL TIPS:

19. WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THE KCPE EXAM?

20. KCPE ends first week of November.
Form 1 starts in mid or late January
For them right now, that is too far to imagine.
All they will say is that they will ‘Relax!’
Parents have to plan for those 3 months.

21. RISKS OF NOT MAKING GOOD USE OF TIME
Lack of punctuality/lethargy.
Inability to meet deadlines.
Fall into bad habits:
Easy prey for drugs and alcohol.
Easy prey for pornography.
Desensitization as a result…

22. What can they do? Good initiation programmes.
Good clubs or youth groups.
Foster development of hobbies:
Collection of coins
Stamps collection
Appreciation of music
Cooking
Origami, etc.
What can they do?

23. Do-it-yourself jobs: woodwork, mechanics, posters, farming, etc.
Cultural activities: reading, camping, musical instruments, movies, etc.
Learning new languages.
Various chores at home.
Community service.
What can they do?