1. Chapter 6
Dealing with Conflict

2. Interpersonal Dynamics
Interpersonal dynamics – are the give and take behavior between people during human relations
Interpersonal dynamics grow increasingly complex as more people interact

3. Key Topics of Interpersonal Dynamics
Transactional Analysis
Assertiveness
Conflict Management

4. Transactional Analysis (TA)
Method for determining how people interact
When we interact, behavior can be:
passive
aggressive
assertive
TA is a method of understanding behavior in interpersonal dynamics

5. TA: Ego States
Major ego states that affect our behavior or the way we transact:
Parent Ego State (P)
Critical parent
Sympathetic parent
Child Ego State (C)
Natural child
Adapted child
Adult Ego State (A)

6. TA: Types of Transactions
Within ego states there are three different types of transactions:
Complementary Transactions
Crossed Transactions
Ulterior Transactions

7. Complementary Transactions
Occur when the sender of the message gets the intended response from the receiver
Supervisor
Employee P P A A C C

8. Crossed Transactions
Occur when the sender of a message does not get the expected response from the receiver
Supervisor
Employee P P A A C C

9. Ulterior Transactions
Occur when the words seem to be coming from one ego state, but in reality the words or behaviors are coming from another
Sometimes people do not know what they want or how to ask for it in a direct way
Thus they will use ulterior transactions
Best to avoid ulterior transactions because they tend to waste time

10. Attitude toward Oneself Attitude toward Others
TA: Life Positions
I’m OK –
You’re not OK
You’re OK
I’m not OK –
Positive
Attitude toward Oneself
Negative
Negative
Positive
Attitude toward Others 4

11. TA: Stroking
Stroking – any behavior that implies recognition of another’s presence
Positive – make people feel good about themselves
Negative – can hurt people in some way
Giving praise (positive stroking) is a powerful motivation technique

12. Assertiveness
The process of expressing thoughts and feelings while asking for what one wants in an appropriate way
Present your message without falling into the traps of being:
“too pushy” (aggressive)
“not tough enough” (nonassertive-passive)

13. Behaviors when dealing with a diversity of people:
Passive
Behavior
Aggressive
Passive-Aggressive
Assertive 4

14. Passive, Assertive, and Aggressive Speakers:
Passive speakers:
Use self-limiting qualifying expressions without stating their position / needs
Assertive speakers:
State their position / needs without violating the rights of others
Aggressive speakers:
State their position / needs while violating the rights of others using “you-messages” and absolutes

15. Assertive Behavior Generally the most productive behavior
Generally the most effective method of getting what you want while not taking advantage of others
Being assertive can create a win-win situation

16. Assertiveness Steps Step 1. Set an Objective:
Specify what you want to accomplish
Step 2. Determine how to create a win-win situation:
Assess the situation in terms of meeting your needs and the other person’s needs
Step 3. Develop an assertive phrase(s)
Step 4. Implement your plan persistently

17. Anger and Violence in the Workplace
Human resources managers have reported increased violence between employees
Women commit nearly 25 percent of all threats or attacks
Violence between outsiders and employees is increasing
Anger can lead to violence

18. Causes of Anger and Violence
Intrapersonal causes:
e.g., frustration, stress, and fear
Interpersonal unresolved conflicts
Physical work environment:
e.g., space to work, noise, odors, temperature, ventilation, and color
Hostile work environment

19. Dealing with Your Anger
Use rational thinking
Look for positives
Look for the humor in the situation to help defuse the anger
Use assertive behavior
Develop a positive attitude about how you deal with anger
Use an anger journal

20. Dealing with Anger of Others (1 of 2)
Never make any type of putdown statement
Don’t respond to anger and threats with the same behavior
Don’t give orders or ultimatums
Watch your nonverbal communications to show concern and to avoid appearing aggressive

21. Dealing with Anger of Others (2 of 2)
Realize that anger is natural and encourage people to vent in appropriate ways
Acknowledge the person’s feelings
Get away from the person if necessary

22. Signs of Potential Violence
Take verbal threats seriously
Watch nonverbal communication
Watch for stalking and harassment
Watch for damage to property
Watch for indications of alcohol and drug use
Include the isolated employee
Look for the presence of weapons or objects that might be used as weapons

23. Conflict
Conflict exists whenever two or more parties are in disagreement
Conflict is inherent in an organizational system
Conflict can increase as the workforce becomes more diverse
Dealing with conflict is part of emotional intelligence

24. Reasons for Conflict
Communications problems or conflicts arise for three primary reasons:
1. We fail to make our expectations known to other parties
2. We fail to find out the expectations of other parties
3. We assume that the other parties have the same expectations that we have

25. Conflict Has Positive Benefits
Conflict can be beneficial
A balance of conflict is essential to all organizations
Too little or too much conflict is usually a sign of management’s unwillingness or inability to adapt to a diversified environment

26. Summary of Conflict Management Styles
Forcing Conflict Style:
User attempts to resolve conflict by using aggressive behavior
Avoiding Conflict Style:
User attempts to passively ignore the conflict rather than resolve it
Accommodating Conflict Style:
User attempts to resolve conflict by passively giving in to the other party
Compromising Conflict Style:
User attempts to resolve the conflict through assertive give-and-take concessions
Collaborating Conflict Style:
User assertively attempts to jointly resolve the conflict with the best solution agreeable to all parties.
The problem-solving style

27. Roles in Conflict Resolution
Initiator
Responder
Mediator

28. The XYZ Model
The XYZ model describes a problem in terms of behavior, consequences, and feelings:
When you do X (behavior),
Y (consequences) happens,
and I have Z (feelings)

29. Initiating Conflict Resolution
Step 1. Plan to maintain ownership of the problem using the XYZ model
Step 2. Implement your plan persistently
Step 3. Make an agreement for change

30. Responding to Conflict Resolution
Step 1. Listen to and paraphrase the problem using the XYZ model
Step 2. Agree with some aspect of the complaint
Step 3. Ask for, and / or give, alternative solutions
Step 4. Make an agreement for change

31. Mediating Conflict Resolution
Step 1. Have each party state his or her complaint using the XYZ model
Step 2. Agree on the problem(s)
Step 3. Develop alternative solutions
Step 4. Make an agreement for change and follow up

32. Your Personality and Interpersonal Dynamics (1 of 3)
People with the same personality type tend to get along better and have less conflict than those with different personality types
If you have a high surgency personality –
watch your use of the critical parent ego state
be sure to give lots of positive strokes to help human relations
be careful not to use aggressive behavior to get what you want

33. Your Personality and Interpersonal Dynamics (2 of 3)
If you have a high agreeableness personality,
you tend to get along well with others
be careful not to use the sympathetic parent ego state
watch the appropriate use of the child ego state
Adjustment – is about how well you deal with your emotions
especially anger

34. Your Personality and Interpersonal Dynamics (3 of 3)
There is a relationship between adjustment and openness to experience
If you are not well adjusted, you are probably not open to experience
If you are a high conscientious personality, you can still transact from the parent or child ego state