1. Conflict Resolution

2. Write one expectation on a card
for this session only
be clear
be short (key words)

3. Objectives reduce or eliminate unnecessary conflict
recognize that we can’t eliminate all conflict
handle disagreements so they do not become ugly ongoing conflict
share our experiences
have fun

4. Conflict A definition of “conflict”
“the result of parties disagreeing about the distribution of material or symbolic resources and acting on the basis of these perceived incompatibilities.”
“is a state of discord caused by the actual or perceived opposition of needs, values and interests”

5. Conflict is an ambiguous concept
takes on different meanings for different groups in different contexts
understood as a negative phenomenon
HOWEVER

6. “peaceful & constructive management of differences”
Conflict
more positive approach to understanding conflict has been adopted
indicative of change within society that enables the
“peaceful & constructive management of differences”

7. Key Points Conflict in the workplace . . .
is inevitable & occurs because people care about what they are doing
needs to be looked at as an opportunity
can be productive or nonproductive – can be good or ugly
depends on how the disagreements are handled and if they are necessary to getting things done

8. Conflict occurs . . . when two or more parties
believe that their interests are incompatible
express hostile attitudes
take action that damages other parties’ ability to pursue their interests

9. In order to prevent destructive conflict and to deal with it effectively We need to understand something about what conflict is about

10. Ugly Conflict
occurs when conflict is unnecessary or becomes a personal confrontation
bad feelings generated & “defeat” each other rather than solving the issue
creates negative emotions
wastes time – being angry, defeating, lobbying for support
is disruptive for the team, causing lack of trust & discomfort

11. Ugly Conflict: How to Recognize it
runs for a long time & across many issues
people give up & try to score points rather than solve
focus on personal issues (styles, ways of talking & personal qualities)
people often labelled
look to a higher authority to “fix” problem using POWER

12. Good Organisational Conflict
allows organisation & people to grow
helps people examine what they take for granted & ineffective old ways of doing things
stimulates creativity & problem solving

13. To Benefit from Conflict
need to separate the personal, emotional aspects from the problem-solving parts (when overly invested in positions, tend to make enemies as conflicts become more personalized)
need skills & understanding to interact in conflict situations
need to understand how to “fight fair” & “stay focused on problem-solving”

14. People tend to resist communication, argue or perceive conflict when the other person. . .
Group Work
at your tables
discuss for 5 minutes
choose 3 and write on card

15. People tend to resist communication, argue or perceive conflict when the other person. . .
provides unsolicited advice
tries to create guilt
offers false sympathy or lacks in understanding
pressures a person to change
appears to want to blame rather than fix
wants to “win”
uses excessive dramatic language
uses “hot words”, that have a heavy emotional connotation

16. Conflict Styles Survey
Which style do you use?

17. Activity

18. Activity
spend 3 min to think of a time that you had a positive outcome to a conflict
stand up and find a partner
- tell your stories 5 min
find another partner and tell the story you just heard (not yours)
repeat and tell the new story you heard
Repeat once more

19. 5 Conflict Styles
When are each of these appropriate?

20. Accommodating unassertive & co-operative
neglects own concerns to satisfy others
element of self-sacrifice (own goals are of little importance
want to be accepted and liked by others
think conflict should be avoided in favour of harmony
may obey another person when would prefer not to

21. Competing is assertive & uncooperative win/lose and be winner
power-oriented: forces one to accept their solution
goals are more important than relationship
do not care if others like/accept them
win by attacking, overpowering, overwhelming & intimidating others
might mean: standing up for own rights; defending a position you believe is correct or trying to win

22. Collaborating is both assertive & co-operative
value own goals & relationships
view conflict as problems to be solved
seek solution to achieve goals for both
can improve relationships by reducing tension
attempt to work with other to find solution to satisfy both

23. Avoiding is unassertive & uncooperative
does not pursue his/her own concerns or the others
does not address conflict: easier to withdraw (physically & psychologically) than to face it
may side-step the issue, postpone it for later or withdraw
believe it is hopeless to resolve conflict & feels helpless

24. Compromising is intermediate in both assertive & co-operativeness
seek solution where both sides gain something
falls on middle ground between competing & accommodating - gives up more than competing but less than accommodating
willing to sacrifice part of their goals & relationships to find common ground
addresses issue more directly than avoiding
might mean splitting the difference, exchanging concessions, or seeking a quick middle-ground position

25. G O A L S High Importance RELATIONSHIPS Low Importance High Importance
collaborating
competing
compromising
accommodating
avoiding
RELATIONSHIPS
Low Importance
High Importance

26. Tools for Managing & Resolving Conflict
At your tables discuss and list on cards 4 ground rules for effective conflict resolution
One card per rule

27. Ways to work through conflict resolution…
Executive decision
Problem solve
Compromise
Listen & clarify
Negotiate
Tolerate difference
Mediate & Arbitrate
Accommodate
Avoid
When are each of these appropriate?

28. Emotional Intelligence
Using your head to manage conflict

29. Emotional Intelligence
“ We are being judged by a new yardstick:
not just how smart we are,
or by our training and expertise,
but also how well we handle ourselves
and each other.”
Daniel Goleman, Working with Emotional Intelligence, 1998

30. Emotional Intelligence
“ is the capacity to get optimal results from your relationships with yourself and others.”

31. Emotional Intelligence
5 Domains
Self- awareness
Managing emotions
Motivating oneself
Empathy
Handling relationships

32. Emotional Intelligence: Research on Empathy
To gain bargaining power by understanding the person on the other side of the table

33. Emotional Intelligence: Research on Empathy 2 Approaches
Perspective-taking is the cognitive power to consider the world from someone else’s viewpoint
Empathy is the power to connect with them emotionally

34. Emotional Intelligence: Research on Empathy
It pays to get inside your opponents’ heads rather than their hearts

35. Using Positive Language

36. Language Negative Positive Tells what can’t be done
Subtle tone of blame
Words that tell what you cannot do: can’t, won’t, unable to
Does not stress positive actions
Tells what can be done
Suggests alternatives & choices
Sounds helpful & encouraging
Stresses positive actions & consequences

37. Using Negative Language
Identify and eliminate common negative phrasing
Expressions that suggest carelessness:
You neglected to specify . . .
You failed to include . . .
You overlooked enclosing . . .

38. Using Negative Language
Phrases that suggest the person is lying:
You claim that . . .
You say that . . .
You state that . . .

39. Using Negative Language
Demanding phrases that imply coercion/pressure:
You should . . .
You ought to . . .
You must . . .
We must ask you to . . .
We must insist . . .

40. Using Negative Language
Expressions that imply recipient is not too bright:
We cannot see how you . . .
We fail to understand . . .
We are at a loss to know . . .

41. Using Negative Language
Phrases that might be interpreted as sarcastic or patronizing:
No doubt . . .
You understand of course
Please respond soon . . .

42. Using Positive Language
If you can send us (…), we can complete the process for you.
Might we suggest that you (…)
One option open to you is (…)
We can help you to (…) if you can send us (…)