1. Diane Benson -Levitt Dbenson126@aol.com
Bullying vs. Conflict
Diane Benson -Levitt

2. Emotional Intelligence
“It is not enough to lecture children about values: they need to practice them, which happens as children build the essential emotional and social skills…emotional literacy goes hand in hand with education…for citizenship”.
Daniel Goleman

3. If we could teach one thing…

4. What Is bullying?

5. Bullying
P Power Imbalance
A Aggressive
I Intentional
N Numerous

6. Bullying
160,000 children stay home from school every day because they are afraid to go to school - National Association of School Psychologists
71% of the teachers or other adults in the classroom ignored bullying incidents.
Between 10% and 30% of teachers engage in bullying behavior in the school context.

7. Bullying Children with Special Needs
Are at an increased risk of being bullied
Kids with epilepsy or food allergies can be at a higher risk
Some children with special needs can also bully others
Civil Right laws protect children with disabilities against harassment

8. Fact or Myth
Most bullying is physical.

9. Myth
The most common form of bullying for both boys and girls is verbal bullying.
It is also common for youth to bully through social isolation.

10. Fact or Myth
Bullying has little long term effect on a student’s academic progress.

11. Myth
One out of every ten students who drops out of school does so because of repeated bullying.

12. Fact or myth
Bullies grow out of it and don’t have problems with other people once they leave school

13. Myth
Nearly 60% of boys who researchers classified as bullies in grade 6-9 were convicted of at least one crime by the age of 24; 40% of them had 3 or more convictions by the time they were 24.

14. Conflict vs. Bullying Conflict Bullying Equal Power/Friends
Imbalance of Power        P
Happens Occasionally
Happens Repeatedly       A
Accidental
Intentional                       I
Equal emotional reaction
Strong emotional reaction from target                               N
Remorse
Little or no remorse
Effort to solve problem
Little or no effort to solve problem

15. Roles in Bullying Aggressor Target Instigator Bystander
Ally or Upstander

16. Warning Signs of Bullying
Lost items
Bruises or scratches
Changes in friends, loss of friends
Reluctant to join in activities
Feelings of sadness or anxiousness
Headaches or stomachaches
A decline in grades
Depression or thoughts of suicide
Asking for help with relationships
Problems with eating or sleeping

17. Children Who Bully Tell him or her to stop immediately
Explain that bullying hurts and every child deserves to be treated with respect
Ask how would it make you feel if your were being bullied
Bullying can cause you to lose friends
Bullying if reported can stay on your school record through college
Offer to help

18. What to do or say if the child is a target of bullying
Let them know you take bullying seriously
Reassure them the situation is not their fault
Determine if the situation is really bullying
As if they told another adult about the situation
Talk to them about standing up for themselves or a friend if they are a target
Tell them to walk away if possible
Tell them to say “No”

19. Cyber bullying Bullying Using Technology 24/7
Perception of invincibility online
Increase freedom
Extent quickly spreads far and wide
Hard to recognize the harm its inflicting
Texting
Facebook
Instagram
Tumblr

20. Voices of Our Children: Recent Cyberbullying Statistics
A survey of 4,400 students yielded the following results:
42% of kids report they have been bullied on line- 1 in 4 report they have had it happen more than once.
58% have not shared with their parents about an online bullying incident
21% have received mean or threatening or text messages

21. New Research Shows the Connection between Social Media and Narcissism
“All of the time absorbed in screens has reduced the amount of actual human (i.e., face-to-face) contact that children have, thus depriving them of the experiences needed to develop essential social skills, such as empathy, compassion, and consideration for others, which counter narcissism.”
Dr. Jim Taylor, Adjunct professor, University of San Francisco

22. New Research Shows the Connection between Social Media and Narcissism
“All of the time absorbed in screens has reduced the amount of actual human (i.e., face-to-face) contact that children have, thus depriving them of the experiences needed to develop essential social skills, such as empathy, compassion, and consideration for others, which counter narcissism.”
Dr. Jim Taylor, Adjunct professor, University of San Francisco

23. Diminished Substitutes Each step forward has made it a little easier to avoid the emotional work of being present, to convey information rather than humanity.

24. The problem with accepting and preferring diminished substitutes is that over time, we, too, become diminished substitutes. People who become used to saying little become used to feeling little.

25. What to say to a child about cyberbullying
Don’t say something online you wouldn’t say to them in person
Don’t make the behavior worse by forwarding hurtful messages
Intervene and be an upstander
Tell an adult

26. Questions???