1. ‘Uncommon Union’: The Character of Christian Marriage
Dr. Richard B. Steele
Seattle Pacific University
Day of Common Learning
October 17, 2002

2. “The Cow-Pock, or, the Wonderful Effects of the New Inoculation
“The Cow-Pock, or, the Wonderful Effects of the New Inoculation!” by James Gillray (1802)

3. Portrait of Jonathan Edwards, oil on canvas, attributed to Joseph Badger (1751)

4. The College of New Jersey, mid-18th century

5. Portrait of Sarah Edwards, oil on canvas, attributed to Joseph Badger (1751)

6. Jonathan Edwards’s Grave Marker, Princeton, NJ

7. “An uncommon union…”

8. “The Cotter's Saturday Night” by Sir David Wilkie. 1837. Oil on panel
“The Cotter's Saturday Night” by Sir David Wilkie Oil on panel. Glasgow Art Gallery and Museum

9. 1. From Compatibility to Companionability
Christian marriage is based not so much on the couple’s compatibility as on their companionability

10. 1. From Compatibility to Companionability
– an internet site devoted to helping people meet “Mr. Right” or “Ms. Wonderful”

11. 1. From Compatibility to Companionability

12. 1. From Compatibility to Companionability
“We always marry the wrong person…. Or if we first marry the right person, just give it a while and he or she will change.”
– Stanley Hauerwas

13. 1. From Compatibility to Companionability
John Gielgud and Jessie Matthews in “The Good Companions” (1933)

14. 1. From Compatibility to Companionability
A ‘companion’ is someone with whom you are willing to break bread…with whom you are willing to share life’s blessings and endure life’s heartaches.
Com = with
Panis = bread

15. 1. From Compatibility to Companionability
“Whether you married the right or wrong person is primarily up to you.”
– Zig Ziglar

16. 2. From Contract to Covenant
We enter into Christian marriage not as a contract for mutual advantage, but as a covenant for mutual service.

17. 2. From Contract to Covenant
Marriage license of Thomas Autrey Wiley and Nancy Anne Elizabeth Smith: 20 October 1870

18. 2. From Contract to Covenant
A just contract will be mutually advantageous, guaranteeing to each party specified rewards and benefits in exchange for the performance of specified services or the payment of a specified monetary sum.

19. 2. From Contract to Covenant
A covenant relationship…
is an act of mutual self-giving.
is irrevocable: “… as long as we both shall live.”
involves personal transformation, sometimes to the point of personal self-sacrifice.

20. 2. From Contract to Covenant

21. 3. Adventure, Not Amusement
Christian marriage is best lived not as a string of amusements, but as a patterned adventure.

22. 3. Adventure, Not Amusement
Photo from

23. “Peasant Wedding” by Pieter Bruegel the Elder, oil on wood, c. 1568

24. 3. Adventure, Not Amusement

25. 3. Adventure, Not Amusement
Cover photo from the score of “Back in the Old Routine,” recorded by Bing Crosby and Donald O’Connor

26. 3. Adventure, Not Amusement
“…It hadn’t occurred to her to think of the duties and routines of ordinary life as a new and different kind of adventure—the moral and spiritual adventure of being a good companion to somebody with whom you’re not always compatible, of being fully committed to somebody who sometimes hurts and disappoint you…”

27. “The Wedding at Cana,” from the Holkham Bible Picture Book (Norfolk, England, 14th century)

28. Wedding portraits of Martin & Katie Luther by Lucas Cranach the Elder, 1525

29. 3. Adventure, Not Amusement