1. COMPLIMENTS: The Art of Giving & Receiving Compliments

2. Review & Share We have been talking about recognizing your gifts.
Why is it important to recognize your own gifts?
How did you share your gifts this week?
Get into your Teams.
Share at least 3 gifts with your team in 30 seconds.
Pick the best share to present to the full class.

3. Compliments

4. Compliments Give me an example of a compliment you received this week?
What was the compliment?
How did you feel receiving it?
Were you able to “take in” the compliment?

5. Trashing Compliments
Give me an example you’ve seen when someone trash talk a compliment? (e.g., “Oh this old thing” or “No I don’t, I look like crap today”)
What was your reaction?
How did you feel watching them trash talk it?
Why do you think this reaction is problematic?

6. What’s the best way to take in a compliment?

7. Giving Compliments Validates and honors other people’s gifts
Noticing someone, appreciating something about them, and recognizing their effort
Why do you think we are talking about giving compliments now?

8. What does compliments have to do with building social networks?

9. Compliments & Social Networks
Creates connection.
Builds rapport.
Encourages people.
Provides feedback.
Makes it more likely that positive behavior will continue.
Show that we accurately see someone.
Creates team unity.

10. Losada Ratio Research from Harvard
Takes three positive comments/interactions to offset a negative interaction.
Give 3 compliments to 1 constructive comment.

11. Aspects of a Powerful Compliment
Aligned with the situation
Use the context of the conversation
It’s True
Acknowledge people for something you respect or appreciate about them
Specific & Unique
Be specific to what you see in that person. Not vague like “good job”.
Direct
“I kind of think…”
Not a backhanded criticism: “Your good at math for someone who’s not smart”

12. Experience Giving Compliments
How many of you are scared to give compliments? Too vulnerable? Makes you look weak?
How many of you resent giving compliments?
Want more yourself? Hint: by complimenting people more, you will actually get more compliments yourself. Why? Self-fulfilling prophecy).
How many of you know someone who gives fake compliments? What’s the problem with this?

13. 1-Minute Exercise Find a partner. Pick an A and a B.
A. Look your partner in the eye and give them a genuine compliment.
B. Take it in. Make eye contact with A and say thank you.
B, look your partner in the eye and give them a genuine compliment.
A. Take it in. Make eye contact and B and say thank you.

14. Homework Assignment Practice giving and receiving compliments!
Every day, walk into a room and within 60 seconds, give a compliment to someone.
Repeat this 3 times each day (give 21 compliments in a week)
Briefly write down:
the situation
the compliment
how you felt giving the compliment (fear, hurt, anger, sad, and/or joy)
how the person responded.

15. Homework Assignment Situation Compliment How you felt?
(fear, hurt, anger, joy)
How person responsded?