1. How to write well, be persuasive, and develop your voice
Artful Sentences
How to write well, be persuasive, and develop your voice

2. Bell Work 10-3-16 REVISE the following paragraph:
In the novel Lord of the Flies by William Golding, many of the boys who are left stranded on the island after the plane crash are struggling for power. The boys not only struggle for power, but they also struggle to get along with each other as they fight to survive. Some of the boys are happy their parents aren’t there, while other boys are more than happy to exist on the island without their parents. Even though Jack tries to take all of the power, Ralph fights his hardest to maintain control in the midst of chaos. His struggle reveals the idea that humans need power even in the midst of chaos.

3. Artful Sentences
Which of the following sentences would you consider more “artistic,” and why?
Ralph, the boy from whom Jack attempts to usurp power in Lord of the Flies, uses the conch as the other boys use it; the conch becomes the symbol of power and leadership for the boys as they struggle—sometimes physically, other times mentally—to survive amongst each other in the treacherous conditions on the island.
In the novel Lord of the Flies, Ralph attempts to usurp power from Jack, a boy who sets his sights on power and vengeance from the very beginning of the novel, as the boys wrestle with different conflicts—conflicts that range from physical arguments with the other boys to inner conflicts in which they struggle with their own survival.

4. Sentence basics
Before we can begin writing our own timed essays, we must develop our own
style and understand the conventions of writing essays.
An ESSAY must contain a beginning (intro), middle (body), and an end (conclusion)
You need to avoid contractions, excessive weak passive, references to the reader, and 1st and 2nd person pronouns
Each sentence in the essay should be a COMPLETE, well-developed, and PURPOSEFUL statement.
There are certain errors that are inexcusable in an AP essay (AP taboos)

5. Essay basics…
When you are asked to write an ESSAY, a paragraph will not suffice
Essays MUST include a beginning, middle, and an end
Intro paragraph MUST include a THESIS that responds EFFECTIVELY to the prompt
Remember: The prompt is a question Your thesis is the answer. Your essay PROVES that the thesis answers that question
You MUST include text evidence
You need transition words
Essay MUST be well-organized (order of importance? Chronological order?)

6. BUT… It is VERY common to struggle with writing essays
How can you correct that?
Part of the issue may be test anxiety (Google helps here!!)
ANNOTATE!!! (Obviously, this strategy helps more with the prose and poetry prompts)
Consider creating an outline
Consider a graphic organizer
You can even simply create a list!!
PRACTICE and review the sample essays on AP Central’s website
Also…it helps if you READ the full text and participate in group discussions 

7. What to avoid…
DO NOT let a quote from the text stand alone as a sentence
Do NOT use any contractions
Avoid passive verbs (is, are, was, were, has, had, have)
Do not use weak vocabulary words (ex: dark tone)
Choppy sentences (these read like a beginner reader!!)
Formulaic sentences (Many writers write about power struggles…; People often struggle with power…)
Errors in usage, grammar, and mechanics

8. Some more…
Run-on sentences (you cannot simply combine sentences with random punctuation)
Sentence fragments (each sentence MUST include a subject and a verb)
“A lot,” “things,” “I,” “you,” “us,” “many,” etc
Random quotes with no analysis
“The author says,” “Simon says,” “the character says”

9. What to include… Transition words (you have this handout)
Artful sentences (we will address this type of sentence this week)
ACTIVE VERBS!!!
Loaded language
Analysis
Sentence variety and fluency
EMBEDDED QUOTES

10. Transitions Transitions help improve sentence and essay fluency
Transitions assist the reader in making connections with your points
Transitions also assist in showing the contrasts of ideas
Include transition words between paragraphs (and within) and between sentences (and within)
Make sure your transitions are appropriate for the subject and content

11. Loaded Language
Using loaded language means using words with strong connotations—this is an effective form of persuasion!!
What is a connotation??
Denotation: this is the dictionary definition of a word
Connotation: these are associations we connect to words
Think: dress (What IS a dress?)
Now, what is a gown?
How about celebrity? What is the definition? What do we associate with that word?
Where in your essay can you include loaded language?

12. Passive Verbs… First of all, GRRR!!!!
Passive verbs include is, are, was, were, have, has, had, etc.
Passive verbs are weak and ineffective
How can you avoid them?
Like ANYTHING else, it takes PRACTICE!!
Using passive verbs excessively appears to the AP graders as though it is accidental and habitual.
They are looking for COLLEGE-LEVEL writing (So am I)

13. Embedded Quotes… What is an embedded quote?
“An embedded quotation is a quotation that is taken from a piece of work such as a play, poem or novel and is placed within another piece of work such as a paper. Embedded quotations must be shown with quotation marks and should be short and to the point.” (I googled that quote)
Example: When Ralph “felt excitement creep up into his heart,” he jumped out of the woods and startled the boys as they scurried into the forest after eating the bad fruit.

14. Using clauses Refer to the clause handout
Using different clauses will help with sentence variety!!
What types of clauses can you use?

15. Modifiers A modifier is anything that adds DETAIL to your sentence
There are different types of modifiers
Modifiers are effective ways to combine sentences
Appositive phrases help!!
Example: Mrs. Treat, my English teacher at SHS, loves candles and scented wax in her home.
The whole purpose of modifiers is to ADD DETAIL, which makes your writing more artistic!!

16. Organization Your essay MUST be well-organized!!
Outlines help with writing!
Transitions can help show organization
Order of importance
Chronological order

17. Literary Present
You need to stay in the “literary present” when writing literary analysis essays
Avoid past tense whenever possible
Remember…this is NOT the same as passive voice
Example: When Piggy dies, so too dies whatever remains of the voice of reason and logic within the island.

18. REMEMBER!!
Correcting our syntax errors and weaknesses takes PRACTICE!!
You will write MANY essays, paragraphs, and short as well as extended responses to literature in AP Lit. We will revise MOST of our writing at least one time.
As your writing improves, we will practice correcting our other weaknesses.
By the end of the year, you will be a fluent and effective writer.

19. Now…
Let’s take a look at those artful types of sentences YOU should be incorporating in your own writing.