1. Module Four
The Self

2. Self-Concept Others’ images of you Social comparisons
The image of who you are. It’s how you perceive yourself. It develops through
Others’ images of you
Social comparisons
Cultural teachings
Your own observations, interpretations, and evaluations
Self-Concept

3. Self-Awareness Open Self
all the information, behaviours, attitudes, feelings, desires, motivations, and ideas that characterize you
Blind Self
all the things about yourself that others know but you do not
Hidden Self
all that you know about yourself that others do not know
Unknown Self
truths that exist that neither you or others know
Self-Awareness

4. Johari Window Open Self Blind Self Hidden Self Unknown Self
Information about yourself that you and others know
Blind Self
Information about yourself that you don’t know but others do know
Hidden Self
Information about yourself that you know but others don’t
Unknown Self
Information about yourself that neither you nor others know
Johari Window

5. Increasing Self-Awareness
Listen to others.
Increase your open self.
Seek information about yourself.
Increasing Self-Awareness

6. Personality Tests Complete the two column/graph test
Are you Analytical, Amiable, Expressive, or a Driver?
Personality Tests

7. Tell Me about Yourself…
Why do we self-disclose?
Tell Me about Yourself…

8. Factors Influencing Self-Disclosure
Who you are
Your culture
Your gender
Your listeners
Your topic
Factors Influencing Self-Disclosure

9. Rewards of Self-Disclosure
Greater self-knowledge
Increased communication effectiveness
Better physiological health
Rewards of Self-Disclosure

10. Dangers of Self-Disclosure
Personal Risks
Relationship Risks
Professional Risks
Dangers of Self-Disclosure

11. Guidelines for Making Self-Disclosures
Understand your motivation.
Judge the appropriateness.
Assess whether the self-disclosure is reciprocal.
Weigh the potential problems that disclosure may cause.
Guidelines for Making Self-Disclosures

12. Guidelines for Responding to Self-Disclosure
Listen with empathy and an open mind.
Express support verbally and nonverbally.
Do not be judgmental.
Keep disclosures confidential.
Remember that self-disclosure is usually a sign of trust and affection.
Guidelines for Responding to Self-Disclosure

13. Guidelines for Resisting Pressures to Self-Disclose
Don’t be pushed.
Be assertive in your refusal to disclose.
Be indirect and move to another topic.
Guidelines for Resisting Pressures to Self-Disclose

14. TEST YOURSELF How Willing to Self-Disclose Are You?
Complete this assignment on your EZ Guide
TEST YOURSELF

15. Interpersonal Apprehension
The feeling of fear or anxiety about a situation in which a person must communicate.
“Probably the most common handicap…suffered by people in contemporary American society”
(McCroskey & Wheeless, 1976)
Interpersonal Apprehension

16. Managing Apprehension
Acquire communication skills and experience.
Focus on success.
Reduce unpredictability.
Put apprehension in perspective.
Managing Apprehension

17. Test Yourself Complete Test Yourself: How Apprehensive Are You?
Do this in your EZ Guide
Test Yourself

18. Try this Personality Test
Try this Personality Test

20. Guidelines for Appropriate Self-Disclosure
Self disclose the kind of information you want others to disclose to you
Move self-disclosure to deeper levels gradually
Continue intimate self-disclosure only if it is reciprocated

21. Guidelines for Appropriate Self-Disclosure continued
Self disclose more intimate information only when you believe the disclosure represents an acceptable risk
Reserve intimate or very personal self-disclosure for ongoing relationships
Guidelines for Appropriate Self-Disclosure continued

22. Self-disclosure: Women and Men
tend to disclose more than men,
are disclosed to more than men, and are more aware than men of cues that affect their self-disclosure.

23. In general, men tend to disclose their feelings less than women, but this varies by individual and cultural tradition.
Microsoft Photo

24. Self-disclosure: Women and Men continued
Men in our society are more likely to view conversation as report-talk
Women in our society are more likely to view conversation as rapport-talk
Self-disclosure: Women and Men continued

25. Disclosing Feelings Withholding or masking feelings
Denying them by keeping them inside
Not giving any verbal or nonverbal cues to their existence
Our culture generally regards this as an inappropriate means of dealing with our feelings

26. Disclosing Feelings continued
Displaying feelings
Expressing feelings through facial reactions, body responses and verbal emotional reactions
Is usually appropriate when the feelings being experienced are positive
Is detrimental to communication when feelings being experienced are negative
Often serves as an escape valve for very strong emotions

27. Disclosing Feelings continued
Describing feelings
Many people don’t have a good vocabulary for describing the various feelings they experience
Many people believe describing their true feelings will make them too vulnerable

28. Disclosing Feelings continued
Describing feelings continued
Many people believe if they describe their feelings others will make them feel guilty about having such feelings
Many people believe describing feelings causes harm to others or to a relationship
Many people may belong to cultural groups in which masking or withholding feelings is culturally appropriate behavior

29. Group Role Play Exercise
In pairs role play this scenario. Carey’s roommate borrows Carey’s car without permission; the roommate comes into the room later and, giving Carey the keys, says, “Thanks for the car.” You are Carey. Describe your feelings.
Group Role Play Exercise

30. Owning Feelings and Opinions
Making “I” statements to identify yourself as the source of a particular idea or feeling
Any statement using the first-person pronoun I, my, me, mine
People tend to use vague referents to others rather than owning their ideas and feelings
To strengthen the power of their statements
To escape responsibility

31. Giving Personal Feedback
Praising
Make note of the specific behavior or accomplishment you want to reinforce
Describe the specific behavior or accomplishment

32. Giving Personal Feedback continued
Praising continued
Describe the positive feelings or outcomes that have been experienced as a result of this behavior or accomplishment
Phrase the response so the level of praise appropriately reflects the significance of the behavior or accomplishment

33. Giving Personal Feedback continued
Constructive criticism
Ask the person’s permission before giving criticism
Describe the behavior accurately without labeling the behavior good or bad, right or wrong

34. Giving Personal Feedback continued
Constructive criticism continued
Preface a negative statement with a positive one whenever possible
Be as specific as possible
When appropriate, suggest how a person can change the behavior

35. Exercise
In the situations below first criticize as you normally would, then create a more effective response. 1. You are the manager of a small, fast food restaurant. One of your friends, who is also one of your employees, repeatedly has been making mistakes on the job.

36. 2. Your significant other has a habit of being very harsh with sales people in public, acting in an impatient, demanding way that you find embarassing.
Exercise (continued)

37. Assertiveness Expressing Our Needs and Rights
Passive behavior
When people do not state their opinions, share feelings, or assume responsibility for their behavior

38. Assertiveness continued
Aggressive behavior
When people forcefully lash out to achieve their goals with little regard for the situation or for the feelings, needs, or rights of others
Assertiveness continued

39. Assertiveness continued
Assertive behavior
Standing up for oneself in an interpersonally effective way
Assertiveness continued

40. Characteristics of Assertive Behavior
Own your feelings
Avoid confrontational language
Use specific statements directed to the behaviors at hand
Characteristics of Assertive Behavior

41. Characteristics of Assertive Behavior continued
Maintain eye contact and a firm body position
Maintain a firm but pleasant tone of voice
Avoid hemming and hawing

42. Back To Communication Apprehension
“Probably the most common handicap…suffered by people in contemporary society”
Acquire communication skills and experience
Focus on success
Reduce unpredictability
Put apprehension in perspective
Be Assertive!
Back To Communication Apprehension

43. Please read chapter one in How To Win Friends and Influence People.
And remember don’t criticize, condemn, or complain!!!
Homework 

44. Try this Personality Test
Try this Personality Test

45. Have a GREAT Day!!!