1. Sexual Addiction Monte Kuykendall, M. Div., M.A.
New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary, 2000
GA Licensed Professional Counselor #4807

2. What Causes Sexual Addiction (taken from “Faithful & True by Mark Laaser)
Families
Boundaries
Rigid
No Healthy/Appropriate Touching (such as hugs)
No Affirmations/Praise (“Good job”)
Loose
No Privacy
Constant Criticism
Sexual Teasing

3. What Causes Sexual Addiction (cont.)
Family Rules
Don’t Discuss Emotions
Minimizing (of emotions or actions)
Blame
Deny

4. What Causes Sexual Addiction (cont.)
Family Roles
Hero
Expected to excel and never make a mistake
Scapegoat
Blamed for all family problems
Expected to amount to very little
Lost Child
Never makes waves
Learns to be independent & take care of self
Little Princess/Prince
Has to be “cute,” “wonderful,” “warm,” and “cuddly”
Also called the Shirley Temple role

5. What Causes Sexual Addiction (cont.)
Managing Stress in Family
Caffeine
Alcohol
Pornography
Eating
Watching TV
Shopping
Working
Cleaning

6. What Causes Sexual Addiction (cont.)
Abusive Families
Emotional Abuse
Put downs
Yelling/Screaming
Name calling
Emotional Abandonment
Physical Abuse
Hitting, punching, slapping

7. What Causes Sexual Addiction (cont.)
Sexual Abuse
Touching Inappropriately
Tickling Inappropriately
Flirting between adult & child
Inappropriate amount of dressing in front of children (naked or in underwear)
Being exposed to sexual media at an early age by friend or family member
Spiritual Abuse
Inaccurate messages about God (God’s love is conditional)
Over-theologizing (such as telling someone in grief that they should not cry because their loved one went to Heaven)
Inaccurate messages about sex from the Bible (that it is “bad” or that it is “only physical”

8. Sexual Addiction Cycle

9. Sexual Addiction (Laaser)
Repetitive
Occurs in a pattern for at least 2 years (whether it’s once a month or every day)
Degenerative
Tolerance builds up in body and requires more and more of the addictive behavior (i.e., “drug”)
Unmanageable
Unable to stop it
Medicative
Soothes, distracts, makes a person “feel better”
Destructive
Takes one’s efforts off of work or social performance (i.e., gets in the way)

10. Transtheoretical Model (or “Stages of Change”)
Relapse is already built into the concept (so as to lessen shame or guilt)
Focus is on aligning desires to succeed in other areas of life to the addiction (e.g., How does doing the addiction help you achieve your personal goals?)
Responsibility is on the STUDENT (NOT the chaplain/counselor)! If the student is at the right point in the model, then he/she can change.

11. Stages of Change (cont.)

12. Stages of Change (cont.)

13. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy
Cognitive = thinking
Scripture can help with changing one’s thoughts (Romans 12:2)
“…be transformed by the renewing of your mind…”
Scripture can remind a student that they are a Child of God’s to take away any shame
Guilt
What I have DONE is bad
Shame
Who I AM is bad (my being)
Behavioral = change in actions