1. Revising your expository essay
STAAR Writing
Revising your expository essay

2. Revising for Formality
Creating formality can be an important part of having a successful text. Note how amazing it is that one word can change the formality drastically.
Throughout the movie, Kelly has two guys interested in her.
Throughout the movie, Kelly has two gentlemen interested in her.
Throughout the movie, Kelly has two dudes interested in her.
Throughout the movie, Kelly has two slackers interested in her.
Throughout the movie, Kelly has two young men interested in her.
Throughout the movie, Kelly has two suitors interested in her.
Throughout the movie, Kelly has two males interested in her.

3. Cohesive Devices (transitions)
It is helpful to have transitions in your essay because it creates a better flow of ideas. (FYI: to have a cohesive essay means to have your ideas connected logically to one another.)
Illustratives: for example, for instance
Temporals: first, next, then, after that
Additives: also, moreover, furthermore, in addition, and
Constrastives: however, on the other hand, nevertheless, but
Comparatives: similarly, likewise
Causatives: as a result, hence, thus
Reiteratives: in other words, that is

4. Using Cohesive Devices
These cohesive devices are especially valuable at the heads of sentences:
Franklin’s idea of time is money is confirmed in the film. However, the idea comes off much differently than it would have had Franklin written it.
Punctuating these cohesive devices in various locations in sentences:
Franklin’s idea of time is money is confirmed in the film. The idea, however, comes off much differently than it would have had Franklin written it.
Franklin’s idea of time is money is confirmed in the film. The idea comes off much differently than it would have had Franklin written it, however.
Franklin’s idea of time is money is confirmed in the film; however, the idea comes off much differently than it would have had Franklin written it.

5. Revising Development
Does you essay consistently focus on explaining/discussing the topic of the prompt?
Does your essay communicate clearly/logically?
Does it offer a convincing explanation/teaching of the chosen topic?
Did you give clear, specific examples? Can you explain anything in more detail?

6. Revising Organization
Does your essay have a clearly defined (1) introduction, (2) body, and (3) conclusion?
Does your introduction have a clear thesis?
Does your body paragraph have a clear topic sentence?
Does you conclusion bring the paper to a logical end?

7. Revising Style Did you maintain a consistent point of view (no you)?
Did you incorporate transitions?
Did you utilize formal word choices?

8. Revising Mechanics Are there problems with spelling?
Are there problems with sentence construction?
Are there problems with usage?
Are there problems with punctuation?