1. How to Build Relationships for Results

2. Introductions Find an object in the room Capture its characteristics
Well I’m really _____
because ...
This has proven to be a great warm up exercise. Ask everyone to pick a physical object in the room, any object. Ask them to list 5 characteristics of that object. Now ask them to select one of those characteristics that most closely resembles a characteristic of themselves. Have them stand up and introduce themselves to several other attendees noting the object they selected and why that one characteristic applies to them.
PURPOSE: Getting comfortable sharing a piece of information about ourselves that would not come to the surface in normal conversation.

3. Influencing Questionnaire
Read Instructions – Page 9
Complete Part 1 – Pages 9 & 10
Read Instructions – Page 10
Complete Part 2 – Pages
This has proven to be a great warm up exercise. Ask everyone to pick a physical object in the room, any object. Ask them to list 5 characteristics of that object. Now ask them to select one of those characteristics that most closely resembles a characteristic of themselves. Have them stand up and introduce themselves to several other attendees noting the object they selected and why that one characteristic applies to them.
PURPOSE: Getting comfortable sharing a piece of information about ourselves that would not come to the surface in normal conversation.

4. Influencing – Your Big Deliverable
Making a presentation / recommending a strategy
Problem solving / decision-making
Reviewing progress
Lobbying a decision maker
Causing need for your products and services
Coaching / mentoring
Responding to a memo or

5. Influencing Others to:
Make a decision
Change an option
Modify a behavior

6. Star Performers at Bell Labs
Harvard Study
Top engineers & scientists
Some stood out
Cognitive & social, standard test – IQ etc. no differences
Developed core competencies in interpersonal skills

7. Five Major Influencing Competencies
Interpersonal Awareness
Critical Information Seeking
Concern for Impact
Rational Persuasion
Strategic Influencing

8. Definition of Influencing
Influencing is an interactive process which enables us to build relationships with people to bring about a change of ideas, actions and behaviors without using force or authority.

9. Essential Influencing Skills

10. Essential Influencing Skills

11. Essential Influencing Skills

12. Essential Influencing Skills

13. Essential Influencing Skills

14. Eight Things to Remember About Your Behavior
Behavior is everything you say and do
Behaviors are learned – many are habitual
People observe ALL your behavior ALL the time
Conclusions are based on your behavior
Behavior breeds behavior
You can CHOOSE your behavior
Your behavior will help or hinder
Verbal and non-verbal behavior must compliment one another

15. Skill Set 1 - Wavelength
Consciously using body language

16. How a message is delivered
_____% Body language
_____% Vocal tone
_____% Words

17. How a message is delivered
55 % Body language
38 % Vocal tone
7 % Words

18. Reading Body Language

19. Reading Body Language

20. Reading Body Language

21. Reading Body Language

22. Reading Body Language

23. Reading Body Language

24. Reading Body Language

25. Reading Body Language

26. Reading Body Language

27. Reading Body Language

28. How To Win At Body Language
Facial expression and head movement
Gesturing with hands and arms
Rest of body including legs

29. Skill Set 1 - Wavelength Consciously using body language
Avoiding jargon
Being open about your feelings
Open-minded observing behaviors

30. Observing Verbal Behaviors
PULLING
Asking for ideas
Developing/
Supporting other
people’s ideas
Asking questions
PUSHING
Giving ideas
Disagreeing/
objecting
Giving answers/
explanations
idea generating behavior
expanding behavior
qualifying
behavior

31. Skill Set 2 - Questioning
Asking open-ended questions
Asking one question at a time
Making suggestions

32. Solve the Riddle There is a green house,
Inside the green house there is a white house,
Inside the white house there is a red house,
Inside the red house there are lots of babies.
What am I?

33. Solve the Riddle I never was, am only to be.
No-one ever saw me, nor ever will.
And yet, I am the confidence and hope of all who live and breathe on this terrestrial ball.
Who am I?

34. Suggesting Ideas (Pulling) Telling Ideas (Pushing)
Getting to Yes
Likelihood of
Agreement
Likelihood of
Objection
Suggesting Ideas (Pulling)
42%
18%
Telling Ideas (Pushing)
25%
39%

35. Three Key Strategies Convert a statement into a question
Provide choice in your proposal
Ask for impact as a course of action

36. Skill Set 3 - Understanding
Listening without interruption a) hear b) understand c) interpret
Paraphrasing

37. Understanding – Its Meaning
A contract between two mates

38. Your Influencing Session
Preparation 6 min.
A influences B, observed by C 8 min.
Feedback to A from C 5 min.
B influences C, observed by A 8 min.
Feedback to B from A 5 min.
C influences A, observed by B 8 min.
Feedback to C from B 5 min.
Total Time 45 min.

39. Skill Set 4 – Conflict Handling
Surfacing objections
Searching for disagreement and resistance
Constructively disagreeing

40. Skill Set 4 – Conflict Handling
“If you argue and rankle and contradict you may achieve a victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you will never get the other person’s good will.” Ben Franklin

41. Skill Set 5 - Agreement Establishing needs and wants Using benefits
Using one reason at a time

42. Skill Set 5 - Agreement It takes two to make an agreement
Both parties must be committed to making it work

43. Learning in Groups/Teams One-to-One Learning Relationships
The Learning Pyramid
The
Learning
Organization
Learning in Groups/Teams
One-to-One Learning Relationships
Individual Learners

44. Learning
The
Learning
Process

45. A Loop in the Spiral 1. Experiencing 2. 4. Planning Reviewing/
Reflecting
4. Planning
3. Concluding

46. A Loop in the Spiral
1. Experiencing
QUICK FIX
4. Planning

47. A Loop in the Spiral 1. Experiencing 3. Concluding Jumping to a
Conclusion
3. Concluding

48. A Loop in the Spiral 2. Reviewing/ Reflecting 3. Concluding
ANALYSIS to PARALYSIS

49. A Loop in the Spiral 1. Experiencing 2. 4. Planning Reviewing/
Reflecting
4. Planning
3. Concluding

50. Complete your Profile
Turn to page 6 & mark your answers on Part 1 score sheet
Turn to page 8 & mark your answers on Part 2 score sheet

51. The Influencing Action Plan

52. Complete your Profile
Influencing is an interactive process which enables us to build relationships with people to bring about a change of ideas, actions and behaviors without using force or authority.