1. A workshop brought to you by the Purdue University Writing Lab
Sentence Clarity
A workshop brought to you by the
Purdue University Writing Lab
Rationale: Welcome to “Sentence Clarity.” This presentation is designed to introduce your students to common clarity problems, including misplaced modifiers, dangling modifiers, parallel structures, and passive voice constructions.... The 36 presented here are designed to aid the facilitator in an interactive presentation of the elements of “Sentence Clarity”. This presentation is ideal within a composition course or within any course as a refresher to common sentence problems.
This presentation may be supplemented with the following OWL resources:
- Dangling Modifiers (
- Parallel Structures (
- Active and Passive Voice (
Directions: Each slide is activated by a single mouse click, unless otherwise noted in bold at the bottom of each notes page
Writer and Designer: Jennifer Liethen Kunka
Contributors: Muriel Harris, Karen Bishop, Bryan Kopp, Matthew Mooney, David Neyhart, and Andrew Kunka
Revising Author: Matthew Allen, February 2009
Developed with resources courtesy of the Purdue University Writing Lab
© Copyright Purdue University, 2000, 2006, 2008, 2009

2. Sentence Clarity Why worry about making sentences clear?
To communicate effectively with the reader
To make writing persuasive and interesting
To show credibility and authority as a writer
Key Concepts: This slide reviews the reasons that sentence clarity is an important part of writing. The facilitator may choose to ask the opening question and invite responses from participants.
Communication is the most important function of sentence clarity. For example, a new computer that comes with unclear directions for setting it up may cause errors and frustration for its new owner.
Persuasion is also important. If a job applicant writes a cover letter with unclear, confusing sentences, the applicant will have trouble persuading an employer that he or she is the most qualified for the job.
Finally, clear, well-phrased sentences can demonstrate a writer’s credibility and authority--the mastery of the subject matter and the competency to communicate well to others.

3. Common Clarity Concerns
This presentation will cover 4 topics:
Misplaced modifiers
Dangling modifiers
Parallel Structures
Passive Voice
Rationale: This slide establishes the four clarity concerns that will be covered in this presentation.
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4. Misplaced Modifiers Modifier Misplaced modifier
Describes, clarifies, or gives more detail about other words in a sentence
Can be a word or group of words (phrase)
Misplaced modifier
A modifier in the wrong place in a sentence
Makes sentences awkward, confusing, or (unintentionally) humorous
Rationale: The formal definitions of modifiers and misplaced modifiers are explained in this slide.
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5. Misplaced Modifiers (cont)
Do these sentences have different meanings? Why?
The dog under the tree bit Carrie.
The dog bit Carrie under the tree.
Rationale: The examples in this slide illustrate the importance of the modification phrase or word group. The facilitator may ask students to explain the difference in meaning between the two sentences. The first sentence explains, “That dog under that tree bit Carrie”--the dog is presently located under the tree.
The second sentence indicates that the act of biting Carrie occurred under the tree. Depending on the placement of the modification phrase, “under the tree,” the meaning of a sentence can change dramatically.
While this is a simple example to illustrate the importance of modifying phrases, the facilitator may invite students to imagine the confusion misplaced modifiers can cause in directions, legal documents, or business letters. The facilitator may also invite students to think of other sentences where misplaced modifiers create confusion or ambiguity.
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6. Misplaced Modifiers (cont)
Sometimes modifiers are intentionally used for comic effect:
“The other day I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.”
Groucho Marx
Example: Occasionally, misplaced modifiers can be used for comic effect, as in this famous example from the comedian Groucho Marx. The facilitator may note that “in my pajamas” is the modifying phrase in this example.
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7. Misplaced Modifiers (cont)
How can you correct this sentence?
Buffy called her adorable kitten opening the can of food and filled the bowl.
Process:
What is the modifier?
What word does it describe, clarify, or give more detail about?
Where should the modifier be placed?
Modifiers go next to the word or phrase they modify.
Activity: The facilitator may ask participants to point out the problem with the first sentence—the kitten is opening the can of tuna. Unless the kitten has opposable thumbs, this is an unlikely scenario. The participant may then ask what the modifying phrase is here—”opening the can of tuna.” This phrase needs to be as close as possible to what it modifies—in this case, Buffy.
This slide also offers a process that students can use to help correct misplaced modifiers. The facilitator may wish to work through this process on this example with students or have them work in small groups.
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8. Misplaced Modifiers (cont)
Buffy called her adorable kitten opening the can of food and filled the bowl.
Correctly placed modifier:
Opening the can of food, Buffy called her adorable kitten and filled the bowl.
Rationale: This slide shows the example sentence and offers one option for correction. Another correct option is, “Buffy, opening the can of tuna, called her adorable kitten and filled the food bowl.” A series of verb phrases would also be correct: “Buffy opened the can of tuna, called her adorable kitten, and filled the food bowl.”
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9. Misplaced Modifiers (cont)
How can you correct this sentence?
Portia rushed to the store loaded with cash to buy Guy’s birthday present.
Process:
What is the modifier?
What word does it describe, clarify, or give more detail about?
Where should the modifier be placed?
Modifiers go next to the word or phrase they modify.
Activity: Again, the facilitator may ask participants to define the problem with the first sentence: the store is loaded with cash. The facilitator may wish to have students work through this example in small groups. The next slide will present a corrected version of the sentence.
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10. Misplaced Modifiers (cont)
Portia rushed to the store loaded with cash to buy Guy’s birthday present.
Correctly placed modifier:
Portia, loaded with cash, rushed to the store to buy Guy’s birthday present.
Rationale: The slide shows the example sentence and offers one option for correction. The modifying phrase, “loaded with cash,” needs to be placed as close as possible to what it modifies--Portia. The slide offers one correct option; another is “Loaded with cash, Portia rushed to the store to buy Guy’s birthday gift.”
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11. Misplaced Modifiers (cont)
One-word modifiers that limit can easily be misplaced. These include:
Almost, even, exactly, hardly, just, merely, nearly, only, scarcely and simply
To be clear, place the modifier immediately before the word or phrase you want to limit.
Key Concepts: Not all modification problems are in the form of a phrase. These eight words can also cause confusion within sentences when they are placed next to words that they are not meant to modify.
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12. Misplaced Modifiers (cont)
Which sentence indicates that everyone in the class failed the exam?
Almost everyone in the class passed the calculus exam.
Everyone in the class almost passed the calculus exam.
Activity: The facilitator may ask students (individually or in small groups) to consider the meaning of each sentence and answer the slide’s final question. The second sentence indicates that everyone in the class failed the exam because “almost” modifies the verb “passed.” Everyone “almost passed”--they came close to passing but did not make the grade. In the first sentence, “almost” modifies “everyone.” ”Almost everyone” passed--most people passed, but a few did not.
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13. Misplaced Modifiers (cont)
Which sentence indicates that Jean-Luc earned some money?
Jean-Luc nearly earned $100.
Jean-Luc earned nearly $100.
Activity: Again, the facilitator may ask participants (individually or in small groups) to answer the slide’s final question. In the second sentence, “nearly” modifies “$100.” Therefore, “John earned nearly $100”--not quite $100, but perhaps $98. In the first sentence, “nearly” modifies the verb “earned.” “John nearly earned” the money, but he failed to earn it.
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14. Misplaced Modifiers (cont)
Review
Misplaced Modifier:
modifier in the wrong place in a sentence
Process to correct misplaced modifiers:
What is the modifier?
What word does it describe, clarify, or give more detail about?
Where should the modifier be placed?
Modifiers go next to the word or phrase they modify.
One-word, limiting modifiers go directly before the word or phrase they modify
Rationale: This slide reviews the definition of misplaced modifier and the process students can use to correct them.
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15. Dangling Modifiers Dangling Modifier:
does not sensibly modify anything in its sentence
modifier is present, but it has nothing to modify
often occur at the beginning or end of a sentence
often indicated by an –ing verb or a to + verb phrase
Key Concepts: This slide offers a formal description of dangling modifiers.
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16. Dangling Modifiers (cont)
What is the modifier modifying?
Having finished dinner, the rugby match was turned on.
Remember, modifiers go next to the words or phrases they modify.
Activity: The facilitator may ask students (individually or in small groups) what the underlined modifier describes. It should described the person who finished eating and turned on the television, but this person is absent. This sentence contains a dangling modifier--it sounds like the rugby game just finished dinner.
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17. Dangling Modifiers (cont)
3 ways to fix dangling modifiers:
Name the appropriate doer of the action as the subject of the main clause
Having finished dinner, Jude turned on the rugby match.
Place the subject of the action within the dangling modifier:
After Jude finished dinner, he turned on the rugby match.
Combine the phrase and clause.
Jude turned on the rugby match after finishing dinner.
Key Concepts: There are several ways to repair sentences with dangling modifiers. This slide shows three ways to correct the sentence from the preceding slide. The first way should be a review of the previous principle of misplaced modifiers—the modifier phrase “having finished dinner” must be right next to Jude.
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18. Dangling Modifiers (cont)
How might you correct the following sentence?
Playing solitaire on the computer for three hours, Michael’s paper was not finished.
Process:
What is the modifier?
What word does it describe, clarify, or give more detail about?
Do you need to insert doer?
Where should the modifier be placed?
Modifiers go next to the word or phrase they modify
Activity: The facilitator may choose to have participants describe the problem with the sentence—Michael’s paper has played solitaire for three hours--and offer suggestions for correction, using the process presented. The next slide presents 3 corrected options.
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19. Dangling Modifiers (cont)
3 revised sentences with connected modifiers:
Playing solitaire on the computer for three hours, Michael did not complete his paper.
Because Michael played solitaire on the computer for three hours, he did not complete his paper.
Michael did not complete his paper because he played solitaire on the computer for three hours.
Rationale: The first option corrects the sentence by placing Michael, the doer of the action, as the subject of the sentence. The second option corrects the sentence by placing “Michael” within the modification phrase. The third option corrects the sentence by eliminating the introductory clause and making it a subordinate clause at the end of the sentence.
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20. Dangling Modifiers (cont)
How might you revise the following sentences?
To work as a loan officer, an education in financial planning is required.
To improve her grade, the test was completed again.
After reading the original study, the article remains unconvincing.
Activity: The facilitator may again have participants (individually or in small groups) identify the error within each sentence. The next slide presents corrected versions of these sentences.
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21. Dangling Modifiers (cont)
Possible revisions:
To work as a loan officer, one needs an education in financial planning.
She repeated the test to improve her grade.
After reading the original study, I find the article unconvincing.
Rationale: This slide presents one possible revision for each sentence. The facilitator should stress that there are other options, discussing these with students briefly.
The problem in the first sentence is the lack of a subject—a person who will work as a loan officer. It is corrected here by inserting the pronoun “one.”
The problem in the second sentence is the similar to the first—the agent (person doing the action in the verbs) is missing. To correct it, the sentence is rewritten in the active voice (it was passive) with “she” as the subject/agent.
Again, the third sentence is missing a subject, and this example problems “I.”
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22. Dangling Modifiers (cont)
Review
Dangling modifier:
modifier is present, but it has nothing to modify
often occur at the beginning or end of a sentence
often indicated by an –ing verb or a to + verb phrase
Process to correct dangling modifiers:
Name the appropriate or logical doer of the action as the subject of the main clause
Place the subject of the action within the dangling modifier:
Combine the phrase and clause.
Rationale: This slide reviews the definition of dangling modifiers and a process students can use to correct them.
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23. Parallel Structure Parallel Structure:
“Using the same pattern of words to show that 2 or more ideas are equally important.”
Applies to words, phrases, or clauses
Usually use coordinating conjunctions ("and,” "or”) to join parallel structures.
Key Concepts: This slide offers a formal description of parallel structure.
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24. Parallel Structure (cont)
With the -ing form (gerund) of verbs:
Parallel: Mary likes hiking, swimming, and bicycling.
With infinitive verb phrases:
Parallel: Mary likes to hike, to swim, and to ride a bicycle. OR
Mary likes to hike, swim, and ride a bicycle.
Note: Use "to" before all the verbs in a sentence or only before the first one—don’t mix.
Key Concepts: This slide offers illustrates two common types of parallel constructions with forms of verbs.
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25. Parallel Structure (cont)
Clause:
group of words containing S + V which forms part of a sentence
A parallel structure that begins with clauses must continue with clauses.
The coach told the players that they should get a lot of sleep, not eat too much, and do some warm-up exercises before the game.
Key Concepts: This slide offers a formal description of how clauses are used in parallel structures.
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26. Parallel Structure (cont)
Which sentences show parallel structure?
Dino does not like to sing, dance, or acting.
Dino does not like singing, dancing, or acting.
The production manager was asked to write his report quickly, accurately, and thoroughly.
The production manager was asked to write his report quickly, accurately, and in a detailed manner.
Aldus was a poor student because he waited until the last minute to study, completed his lab problems carelessly, and lacked motivation.
Aldus was a poor student because he waited until the last minute to study, was always completing his lab problems carelessly, and his motivation was low.
Activity: The facilitator may ask students (individually or in small groups) to identify the sentences (out of the three pairs of sentences) that show parallel structure in the way they list the three words or phrases.
In the first pair of sentences, the second sentence is parallel: “singing, dancing, acting” are all –ing forms of the verbs. The first sentence starts off with infinitives (to + verb) but ends with a gerund (-ing form)
In the second pair of sentences, the first sentence is parallel: “quickly, accurately, thoroughly” are all adverbs ending in –ly. The second sentence begins with adverbs but ends in a prepositional phrase (“in a detailed manner”).
In the third pair of sentences, the first sentence is parallel: there are three verbs phrases in the past tense form. The second sentence mixes verb forms.
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27. Parallel Structure (cont)
How can you correct this sentence?
The sales rep expected that she would present her product at the meeting, that there would be time for her to show her slide presentation, and that questions would be asked by prospective buyers.
Activity: The facilitator may again have participants (individually or in small groups) identify the error within each sentence. The next slide presents a corrected version of this sentences.
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28. Parallel Structure (cont)
The salesman expected that he would present his product at the meeting, that there would be time for him to show his slide presentation, and that prospective buyers would ask him questions.
Each clause starts with “that” + subject + “would” + verb
Rationale: This slide presents a corrected versions of the previous sentence.
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29. Parallel Structure (cont)
Lists after a Colon:
Be sure to keep all the elements in a list in the same form.
What’s wrong with this sentence?
The dictionary can be used for these purposes: to find word meanings, pronunciations, correct spellings, and looking up irregular verbs.
Key Concepts and Activity: This slide presents an important point about parallelisms after colons. The facilitator may ask participants to identify the problem with the example sentence. The problem is with the final phrase—it introduces a new verb structure.
One way to revise this sentence for parallel structure: “The dictionary can be used for these purposes: to find word meanings, pronunciations, correct spellings, and irregular verbs.”
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30. Parallel Structure (cont)
Proofreading strategies for parallel structure:
Skim your paper, pausing at "and" and "or." Check on each side of these words to see if the joined items are parallel.
If you have several items in a list, put them in a column.
Read your writing out loud. Listen to the sound of the items in a list or the items being compared. Do you hear the same kinds of sounds? Do your hear a “rhythm”?
If something breaks that rhythm or repetition of sound, check if it needs to be made parallel.
Rationale: This slide offers several strategies that participants can use when proofreading their papers.
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31. Passive Voice Passive Voice:
Indicates what is receiving action not who/what is doing action
Active voice is “normal” for English and is more common
Two clues:
Verb takes form of “to be” + past tense transitive verb
“by” phrase (optional)
Examples:
The cat was brushed by Johanna.
Active: Johanna brushed the cat.
Mistakes were made by the government.
Active: The government made mistakes.
Mistakes were made.
Someone made mistakes.
Not “wrong” per se, but does affect sentence and paragraph clarity and unity
Rationale: This slide introduces the passive voice by comparing to the active voice and by giving two clues as to how to identify it. The facilitator may want to make sure students understand the difference between the active and passive voice.
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32. Passive Voice (cont)
Why and how might you revise the following sentence?
The decision that was reached by the committee was to postpone the vote.
Activity: The facilitator may ask participants (individually or in small groups) to identify the passive construction within this sentence and explain how to turn it into an active sentence. Participants should be encouraged to consider the difference in emphasis between the active and passive forms.
The next slide presents two corrected versions of this sentence.
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33. Passive Voice (cont) Suggested revisions:
Better: The committee reached the decision to postpone the vote.
Best: The committee decided to postpone the vote.
Rationale: This slide presents two revisions of the preceding example. Both are active voice constructions, but the sentence puts the action in the verb and is more concise. One of the problems with the passive voice is that it tends to be wordy, so active sentences should also avoid excess words.
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34. Passive Voice (cont)
Would you revise the following sentences? Why or why not?
The disk drive of the computer was damaged by the electrical surge.
Michael was robbed in the park last night.
Those books were purchased especially for tomorrow’s lecture.
Activity: The facilitator can discuss why these sentences might best be left in the passive voice. Context is important, so the facilitator might present hypothetical situations where the passive would be better and other situations where the active would be better.
For example, the first sentence might be best as a passive construction if the writer wanted to emphasize what part of the computer was damaged.
Likewise, the second sentence might be best as a passive construction because it emphasizes the fact that Michael (someone we know) had something terrible happen to him. We (probably) don’t know who robbed him, so it might sound odd to write this sentence in the active as “A thief robbed Michael in the park last night” or “Someone robbed Michael in the park last night.” If we know who robbed Michael or there is something interesting about the thief, then perhaps this sentence would be best cast in the active voice: “An elderly woman robbed Michael in the park last night.”
Finally, in the third sentence, the emphasis is on the fact that books have been purchased. If it does not matter (or is not known) who purchased the books, then the passive is probably better. If we want to emphasize the person who purchased the books, then the active voice is probably best: “Karen purchased those books especially for tomorrow’s lecture. She will be furious if you take them today!”
The facilitator should encourage students to think critically about why the passive voice can be useful.
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35. If you need help with writing
There are several reference sources to get an answer to your specific question about writing:
OWL website:
Purdue Writing Heavilon Hall 226
composition textbooks
Rationale: As the presentation concludes, the facilitator can remind students that they can come to the Writing Lab in Heavilon Hall 226 or visit the OWL ( for extra help with sentence clarity and combining.
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36. Quiz
Write a sentence that employs the following: -Parallel Structure -Active Voice -Modifiers that are not dangling or misplaced

37. The End
End of Presentation.